


Of Spots and Stripes

by QuillofThoughts (fluffybunnyremi)



Category: Cats - Andrew Lloyd Webber
Genre: F/M, Gen, Multi, Rape later in the story (sorry I don't remember exactly where it is), Supernatural Elements, Transformation, so much fluff though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-07
Updated: 2013-08-12
Packaged: 2017-12-22 17:00:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 72,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/915743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffybunnyremi/pseuds/QuillofThoughts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Half-way across the world from London is a small, rather sleepy town. Within the town are two very special cats with a specific wish: to meet the Jellicle Cats in the Junkyard. In order to do that, they enlist the help of one rather ordinary teenage girl. Shenanigans ensue and they get there, but the Everlasting Cat has something up her sleeve that will change things forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> One of my more famous stories on fanfiction.net that I'm bringing over here, hopefully to get it to some new eyes. It's just getting transferred over every few days, so any typos won't be found and will be left alone unless it's something that is brought to my attention.   
> However, I still enjoy this story, and it's worth a read, I think. Very OC-centric, especially for the first few chapters, yet it picks up quickly once they come in.   
> Enjoy.

"Amélie! Pay attention!" Mr. Partker, the history teacher at my school, said. I jumped and turned away from the window I had been staring blankly out of. I had been fantasizing – again – about Mistoffelees and me dating again. For the past year or so I had been obsessed Andrew Lloyd Webber's amazing musical, Cats, and I spent most time, both in school and out of it, fantasizing about the various characters.

"Of course, Mr. Parker," I said, trying to hide the sarcasm in my voice. Mr. Parker sighed and walked over to my desk.

"Amélie, Amélie. Get your head out of the clouds and pay attention. I asked you, twice, about what made segregation so bad with the apartheid system," he said as he closed the notebook sitting open on my desk. I glared up at him before sighing softly and deciding to answer the question.

"From the viewpoint of the blacks, or the whites?" I asked him.

"For the blacks, Amélie, who we've been talking about for the past day," Mr. Parker said, sounding exasperated with me, not for the first time. I flinched slightly as I heard snickers coming from the rest of the class and I looked down at my desk as I answered the question.

"It was bad because they were forced to carry cards around, which were hard to get in the first place and if they didn't have it they were sent to jail. It also split up families, and forced them to live in certain places. It was also much harder to get jobs," I said, refusing to look up at him.

"For once you got it right," he said as he started walking back to the front of the room. I hated him for this treatment he put me through. It started when we were talking about the Puritan setters at the beginning of the school year, and had continued until today, and would most likely continue until one of us was gone.

"Now, segregation affected most of the South, like in…" Mr. Parker's voice faded as I sank into another fantasy, this time where I was an assassin for Macavity. I didn't usually daydream about that sort of thing, yet now that I was feeling particularly murderous, it worked quite nicely.

"Am, the bell rang," Lillian, one of my few good friends, said.

"I know," I said absent-mindedly as I started packing my stuff up. As I finished, I slung my bag over my shoulder and started walking out of the classroom.

"Amélie? Mind if I talk to you?" Mr. Parker asked. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath before deciding whether or not to answer him.

"I'll see you in a few minutes," Lillian said. I nodded tersely, and she walked out, presumably to go to the theatre wing like usual. I turned around, not even attempting to hide the glare I was giving him.

"Amélie, I know you hate me, yet I'm trying to help you. I know you're not working towards your full potential. Is anythi—"

"No, Mr. Parker. Nothing's happening at home. I have to get going," I said, cutting him off. He pursed his lips and nodded slightly.

"Fine. Just know that you're barely passing this class. If you don't pass the final, you don't pass this class, understood?" he asked. I rolled my eyes and nodded.

"Of course I do. I'll pass the final with flying colors," I said as I walked out of campus, starting the trek across the campus to the theatre department. It was my favorite place in this school, considering most of my friends were part of the theatre department.

"Hey, Am, we're eating up on the grid today," David said as I walked into the large theatre.

"Why? We only eat in the back hallway," I said running through the callender of events in my head for what could be happening in the smaller theatre that would take up the hallway.

"That school performance is running late and tech's up there, so we figured we would save the walk up there later and just eat up there," he replied. I sighed, looking up at the grid about eighty feet up into the air, and I started walking over to the stairs to head up there.

"You're actually going to eat up there?" David asked me as we started walking up.

"Might as well if tech class is going to be up there," I said, refusing to look down. It was a well – known fact that I was one of the few techies who was scared of heights.

"You're actually up here, Am?" Lillian asked, looking up as David and I walked onto the grid.

"Yes, Lil, I'm actually up on the grid. Willingly, also," I said, smiling slightly as I sat down between her and the railing. Even though my slight phobia wasn't as bad as it had been in years past, I still didn't trust the foot-wide gap in the grid. Lillian smiled, nodding and we continued eating our lunch.

"Hey, Am, can I talk to you?" Jonathan, a senior who was probably one of the nicest boys I had met in a long time, and just happened to be the crown jewel of the theatre wing. I stood up, forgetting about unlocking my locker to get my clarinet out, and nodded.

"Of course, Jonathan. What do you want?" I asked him, part of me wondering why he was talking to insignificant me. I had been crushing on him since freshman year, three years ago, yet I never actually had been able to work up the courage to tell him. Of course, it never really helped that the only time boys were nice to me was when they were doing so on a bet or on dares from their friends.

"Amélie, I wanted to let you know that I'm going to be out of the country for a few months, if not years. I'm not actually not sure how long I'll be gone for," he said. I looked up at him, slightly confused.

"Where are you going to be, then? And what happened to SoU?" I asked him, trying to figure out when SOU was out of the country.

"Well, I decided to go straight into acting, rather than going to school to study acting. I wanted to tell you first so that you didn't worry when I wouldn't come back. I know how much you like me," he replied.

"You do?" I asked, my eyes growing slightly wide. I didn't think I had made it that obvious that I liked him. He nodded slightly. "When are you leaving then?" I asked him softly, looking down at my feet.

"A few days after graduation, right after my graduation party," he said. I looked up at him, slightly shocked.

"So soon?" I asked, not quite able to keep the sadness out of my voice, despite trying.

"It's best. I'd have more time to get settled in and find a job," he said. He looked almost guilty as he said those words. I closed my eyes and knelt down to my band locker, quickly unlocking it.

"Well then, I hope you do well," I said stiffly. I heard him sigh behind me and I saw a small, silver chain come around my neck, a small crystal in the center.

"I wanted to make sure you got something for your birthday. Granted, I had hoped that I would be able to give you something else, yet I don't think you'd like that right now," he said softly as he hooked the necklace together. I turned slightly, looking up at him.

"You don't have anything else in your hands though," I asked, slightly confused. He smiled gently, and kissed my cheek softly. "Why did you do that?" I asked him, slightly mad that he was leaving after suddenly kissing me.

"You seemed to like me a lot. I figured you would like it," he said, shrugging slightly.

"Yet…yet…you're going to leave soon!" I said, searching his face for some sign that this was just some cruel joke he was playing on me. I'd be able to accept that easier than him actually liking me, yet deciding to leave anyways.

"Am, please don't get all depressed again," he said softly as his eyes darkened slightly. "I know I'm going to leave, yet please, don't get depressed. I wouldn't be able to live with myself then."

"Again? How did you know I was depressed before?" I asked him, again confused slightly as to how he knew that about me.

"I noticed you start to wear long-sleeved shirts, and I saw a couple of lines on your wrist," I absent-mindedly rubbed my wrist slightly, "not to mention you just seemed lifeless," he finished. I looked down, slightly ashamed that he had seen my cuts. The scars had long-since faded—scars never lasted long for me—yet I still was on a knife's edge between normalcy and suicidal depression.

"Oh…Thank you for the necklace, Jonathan," I said, glancing back at him.

"It's nothing. I figured since I forgot about your sweet sixteen last year, I'd give you something nice this year," he said, shrugging slightly.

"Thank you, again," I said softly.

"You're welcome. Listen, Am, I have to get going, yet I'll see you later, 'kay?" he said, taking a few steps away from me. I nodded and he walked back into the theatre department, probably to go rush off to talk to the theatre teacher or something. Leaning back against the wall of lockers, I sighed deeply.

"Really? You just had to notice me the day before you graduate?" I asked to no one in particular. Sighing again, I slung my backpack onto my shoulders, picked up my clarinet, and started walking out of the school building.

"I'm home, Mom," I called as I dropped my backpack at the door and started walking up the stairs.

"Come back down here, Amélie," I heard my mom say. Barely concealing a sigh, I turned around and walked back down the stairs and over to her.

"Yes?" I asked, sounding annoyed.

"You're barely passing your classes. If you fail even one, you're going to be punished," she said. I nodded tersely and turned to walk back upstairs. "You know, if you spent even half of the time on your school work as you did on your stupid fanfiction, you'd be passing your classes with a 4.0!" she said harshly. Rolling my eyes, I started walking back up the stairs. She continued ranting as I walked into my room, and I closed it, being sure to lock the two locks before I booted up the computer.

_Logged on: Broadway, Half-Mask, My_Hero, Boheme, Straps_

I opted to call myself Broadway online, considering I loved too many musicals to just pick one. Despite knowing none of these people in reality, I still considered them to be good friends of mine.

_Half-Mask: Hey there, 'Way. How are you this fine day?_

_Broadway: It's a fine day? O_o…not really over here. Parents are harping on grades and such._

_Boheme: Mine always did before I went on to college…_

_My_Hero: Lucky! I still have four years until I can get into college._

_Boheme: lol. I've got a ton of work though. Speaking of which, I'll be working tomorrow, so I won't be on._

_Straps: You're not going to be on?*sob*_

_Broadway: Calm down straps…it's only one day_

_Straps: But…but…_

_Boheme: We have the weekend though!_

_Half-Mast: It's going to get better when we're all off school…_

_My_Hero: Yep. Much better._

_Broadway: Boheme, I'm not going to be on this weekend. I've got stuff that I don't think I can weasel out of…_

As the conversation melted into various aspects of random chat – speak, I started working on some stories I had been writing and some last-minute studying. I diddn't spend nearly as much time stydying though, considering I usually tested pretty well. I did spend quite a bit of time writing down various drabbles of daydreams that I liked. For some reason unknown to me, several people on Fanfiction liked reading my random daydreams and stories I would write, and would read them almost religiously. They were the true reason as to why I pulled out of my depression.

"Dinner, Amélie," my dad called from downstairs. I saved the document, locking the computer, and walked downstairs to eat something quickly.

"It's nice to see you join us for once," my mom said. I nodded, and sat down at the table.

"How was school?" my dad asked, trying to keep up the semblance of a normal family and the fighting from starting quite yet.

"It was fine. Nothing much happened. Finals and the last day is tomorrow, so that's nice," I replied.

"That's good. Don't forget to pack your bag tonight," he said. I looked over at him, slightly confused.

"Bag? Why?" I asked.

"We're going to your grandparents. Don't you remember that? It's been planned for a year now," he replied.

"Yet Jonathan's graduation party is this weekend!" I said, not believing that my parents wouldn't let me go to that.

"So? You're still going to your grandparents, and that's final," my mom said. I finished eating quickly in silence before storming upstairs, deciding to lose myself in a book. It wasn't right that I don't get to go to Jonathan's graduation party. Wasn't right at all.


	2. Chapter 2

I sat moping in my friend's basement, all over missing Jonathan's graduation party. Yes, it was probably immature and childish to hold a grudge towards my parents because of a trip that had been planned for several months. I felt I had a good excuse though, considering he was the only boy who had actually kissed me. Granted, it wasn't on the lips or anything, yet it still counted. As a result of his leaving, school ending and my mom threatening to lock me in my room with no electricity, my mental state was tipping precariously close to suicidal depression again. As a result of that, my friend forced me to go to a party she was throwing at her place while her mom was out clubbing. I hated parties, though. Utterly despised them.

"Am, you can go outside. I know how much you hate loud music," Lillian said. I nodded slightly, deciding not to point out the reason as to why I was curled up in the corner was because Jonathan was gone, and not because of the loud hard-rock music. Regardless, I decided to take my leave from the dozens of people threatening to step on me, and stood up to walk outside.

"I'll be outside then," I said as I started walking outside to her brother's old treehouse. It was still in good shape, and I usually was out there when I needed to sort out my thoughts. I quickly climbed up to the third level of the treehouse, well, it was more like a crow's nest above the second level, and leaned against the edge. As I looked down, I almost toyed with the thought of how much it would hurt if I jumped.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," a calm voice said from behind me. I flinched slightly, moving away from the edge of the crow's nest, and looked around, not thinking anyone had been outside.

"Why not?" I asked, trying to keep my voice level as I looked down at the ground and the lower levels of the treehouse.

"Because we'd have a problem then," the voice answered. It was a male voice, and it almost seemed to be coming from one of Lillian's two cats, who were sitting in the nest at the top of the ladder.

"You're quite adept at throwing your voice. It almost seems as though Porthos is the one talking," I said as I sat down, leaning against the sturdy railing.

"Porthos was talking, Amélie," a female voice said. This one seemed to be coming from Lillian's other cat, a tortie and white queen named Antha. I shook my head slightly, smiling at the preposterous idea I had that it was actually Antha talking.

"Now, I know I'm not that far gone," I said as started stroking Porthos' blue-cream back. I liked Porthos, considering he never bit me, or clawed at me, or hissed at me…

"Porthos, explain it to her," the female said sharply.

"Yet I don't want to…It feels so nice when she strokes my fur!" the male said, and I felt Porthos purr softly under my hand. Antha glared at Porthos, and I could swear that he sighed as he stood up and walked over to his sister, and sat beside her. "Mé, remember when Antha bit you an hour or so ago?" the male asked me. I nodded slightly, narrowing my eyes slightly as I rubbed my hand.

"That still hurts, by the way," I said. My hand still really hurt, considering it had barely stopped bleeding a few minutes ago.

"Well, sorry I—"

"Antha!" the male said, cutting the female off as Porthos glared at Antha. Porthos looked back at me. "Well, she's truly sorry, yet it was the only way you'd be able to understand us."

"Wait, so you're saying that Lillian's cats are actually talking?" I asked, looking between the two American Shorthairs. Antha nodded firmly.

"Yes," she said.

"I've finally gone insane…" I muttered softly, touching a hand to my forehead as I looked up at the full moon.

"No, no you haven't, Am. It's just magic. Nothing more than that," Porthos said softly, rubbing up against my leg.

"We just need to ask you something," Antha said, softly. Porthos sat down in my lap and looked up at me.

"And what might this be?" I asked softly, genuinely curious as to why a couple of cats would want to talk to a human.

"Well, Mé, our mom, Antha's and mine, I mean, used to like in England. London, in fact. She always told us stories of the Jellicle cats, these amazing cats that sing, and live in a junkyard, just like the ones in that musical you're obsessed about. She always told us that if we ever had a chance to get to go, that we should take it. And, well, Antha's going to be a queen this year, and I want her to be able to see the Jellicles for her year," Porthos said.

"Aren't you already full-grown?" I asked, slightly confused. Antha shook her head.

"No, not technically. You're not a queen until you're sixteen, and I'm turning sixteen this year," she explained. "Porthos turned sixteen last year."

"Why are you telling me, then?" I asked softly, nodding slightly.

"Well, you're probably the most inclined to actually believe us, considering you usually have a wild imagination. Lillian would never believe us, and most other people have passed off on their childhood hopes and dreams," Porthos explained.

"Not to mention, despite you being really quiet, you aren't afraid to go out of your comfort zone, unlike Lillian," Antha added. I shrugged about her comment. I wasn't so sure of that, yet I wouldn't argue as I was preoccupied with actually thinking about whether or not I would be able to help them at all.

"So, you're wanting me to help you and take you there?" I asked them softly, starting to stroke Porthos' soft fur again.

"Yes," Antha said, walking up closer to me. "I would think that that would be obvious."

"I know, yet I just wanted to make sure," I said softly. "I'm just a teenager though. You're asking me to go to the other side of the world, nearly, and I have nearly no money." I sighed, and ran a hand through my unruly dirty-blonde hair.

"Would this be a bad time to mention that if we're to get there in time, we have to be there by December's full moon?" Antha asked. I stared down at her.

"You're giving me six months to pull together something close to three, four thousand dollars?" I asked her, utterly shocked that they hadn't decided to give me more time. "I can't do that!"

"See! I knew she wouldn't even try," Antha said, sounding bitter as she started walking back to the ladder. Porthos sighed, looking down at the wood.

"I'll try," I said softly, sighing. "I'll do my best to get you guys there. It's not like I have any ties over here." Porthos looked up at me, and I could swear that he was smiling.

"Thank you. I hope that this will be a good birthday for Antha," Porthos said. I nodded and looked up at the stars, sending out a silent plea to whatever god was listening to help me get these two cats to London.

"I've got to get going," I said a few hours later to Lillian. "Curfew's at midnight, and if I don't leave soon, I'll be late."

"Bye, Am. I'll see you later then," Lillian said. I nodded and walked out to my small car. As I opened the door, two small blurs shot inside.

"Out, Porthos," I said, standing off to the side so that he could get out. "You too, Antha," I added. Porthos looked up at me sadly as he sat down on the driver's seat.

"Yet I like you more than Lilllian! You're much nicer than she is. Especially after her parties," he said.

"Out. I'm not about to kitnap you yet," I said quickly.

"Yet Mé!"

"Out!"

"Fine…" Porthos said sourly as he walked out of the car, closely followed by Antha.

"Come on, obviously she doesn't like us as much as I thought she did," Antha said.

"Wait, you're the one who gave him this idea?" I asked, slightly shocked at her. She looked almost like she shrugged, and they walked off. Sighing deeply, I sat inside the car, and started my car, driving off home.

"I think I've finally gone crazy. Either that, or I've been reading too much fanfiction. There's no way that cats can talk. Not in this world, at least. Wait…I'm talking to myself. Great, just what I needed, a verbal form of an internal monologue. Great…" I said, talking to myself as I made my way home.

A few minutes later, and several arguments later, I quietly slipped into the house, and started walking up the stairs to my room.

"I'm home!" I called, wanting to make sure my mom knew I was home before she grounded me for breaking curfew.

"It's about time! I was wondering when you would finally decide to turn up," she called back. Sighing, I walked into my room, locked the door and flipped my computer on, despite being immensely tired, both physically and mentally. I needed to figure out how much money I would need to get for the trip over, and when I would need to get there by.

"Interesting…" I said softly as I saw that the full moon was the same date as the winter solstice. "And tickets are extremely expensive…How on God's green Earth will I be able to get all that money in time? There's no way I could get enough for a return ticket either, and my parents will probably kill me, so I might as well stay, so I'll need to get a visa as well. I think I might need to get at least three thousand dollars…And I'm talking to myself again. I think it's time for bed, Am…" I turned the laptop off as I walked across my small room and collapsed in bed, not bothering to change into pajamas.


	3. Chapter 3

"Amélie!" I heard my mother yell as she banged on my door. I jumped up and ran over to my alarm clock to turn it off before I realized that it was my mom yelling, rather than my alarm clock waking me up.

"I'm up!" I shouted back as I walked, somewhat bleary-eyed, to the door. I quickly fumbled with the locks and opened the door.

"There is some rat outside screaming. If it doesn't shut up in five minutes, I will walk outside to kill it. Now, if you don't want that to happen, I would advise you to get outside and take care of it," she said. I nodded quickly and ran downstairs. I opened the front door, following my ear to find Porthos shouting my name.

"Amélie!" I heard Porthos' voice call. I knelt down and crawled underneath some bushes in our front yard and saw Porthos sitting underneath the bushes.

"Porthos! What are you doing here?" I asked him sharply as I saw him.

"Looking for you," Porthos replied brightly as he walked out of the bushes, rubbing up against him. I pulled out of the bushes, and sat up, looking at the blue-cream cat.

"Do I dare ask where your sister is?" I said, sighing as he crawled into my lap, purring softly.

"Lillian's. She didn't really like the idea of spending more time with you than necessary," he replied, turning over and looking up at me. "I didn't tell her I was coming, of course. She would have stopped me if I did."

"Come on," I said, inwardly groaning, as I picked him up and walked back inside.

"Why is that rat in here?" my mom asked as I walked in. Porthos' fur puffed up slightly, and he hissed. I slowly stroked his fur, trying to get him to calm down before my mom hurt him.

"He's only going to be in here for a few minutes, Mom. Just let me get dressed so that I can take him back to his home," I said as I pushed past her and walked into the kitchen to grab my usual morning cup of tea. I couldn't stand the taste of coffee, yet I loved tea when it was brewed extrememly strong and without cream or sugar.

"Where does he live then?" my mom said, blocking the stairs from me.

"Lillian's. I don't know how he got here," I replied with a blank face. When she didn't move, I pushed past her up to my room. I figured I had best change before heading to Lillian's place, considering it wasn't strange for me to spend all day there. I softly set Porthos on my bed, and I started pulling a set of clean clothes out of the closet.

"Your room's nice, Mé…" I heard Porthos say softly. I turned around, and saw him sleeping on my pillow, only moving as he breathed deeply. I quickly changed, praying that he wouldn't wake up while I was changing, and I picked him up as I started walking out of my room.

"Come on, Porthos, let's get you back to Lillian's," I whispered softly as I walked down to the front door.

"I got your report card, by the way, Amélie. You somehow managed to keep up your 3.75 for yet another year," my mom said. I rolled my eyes as I opened the front door and walked out to my car. The back opened automatically as I pressed a button, and I set Porthos down softly in the back. I closed the trunk, and moved to the driver's seat, quickly starting the car.

"Why are you taking me back, Mé?" I heard Porthos say softly as he walked over to the passenger's seat. I sighed slightly and kept my eyes on the road, not particularly wanting to get in a crash any time soon.

"Don't want Lill to worry. Don't want your sister to kill me the next time I see her. Pretty much, if you want to get to London, you can't always be with me," I said after a minute. Porthos sighed sadly, and I softly petted his head. A few minutes later, I parked my car outside of Lillian's house, laughing softly at the newly-broken window and I walked up to the door, quickly followed by Porthos. I raised my hand to knock on the door, yet I realized that it was only about nine in the morning, a perfectly horrid hour for Lillian, who was probably still dead to the world. She was probably stoned, or high, or even hung-over from last night's fervent partying. Yes, there were drugs and alcohol at her parties, yet she had strict rules that they weren't to be brought out until after midnight, her "witching hour". Really, that was the only reason as to why I stuck to curfew when I was at her place.

"She's not going to be awake. Why don't we just go back to your place?" Porthos said. I shook my head quickly and fished my keys out of my pocket, quickly finding her house key and unlocked the door.

"You took Porthos!" I heard an angry shout say as I felt claws slashing my legs. I quickly took a couple of steps back, wind milling as I nearly fell off the small deck and gently kicked Antha away.

"I didn't! And he's right here, at any rate," I replied, quite mad that she had decided to slice me before asking where he was. Antha's claws paused, and I looked down to see her looking around my legs at Porthos, who quickly walked up to his sister, nuzzling her softly. They walked into the house together, and I limped through the door, muttering insults directed towards Antha, closed the door, and continue limping up the small staircase to the closest bathroom. I could barely ignore the throbbing pain as I turned the bathtub faucet on and started running the water over my legs, cleaning the blood off before I could truly look at it better and make sure I didn't need stitches or anything.

"Is that you, Lie?" Lillian's mom, Ms. Cardinal, called, sounding like she was in the kitchen.

"Yeah, Ms. Cardinal," I called back to her as I pulled a black towel from the cupboard above the sink.

"What are you doing here so early? Usually you don't get here for another hour or so," she replied as she walked into the bathroom. "More problems at home?"

"Not any more than on a good day," I said as I started drying my legs off and inspecting the numerous cuts along them. Porthos just had to run away the one day I wore shorts. "Porthos just decided to pay me a visit somehow, so I figured it would be best if I brought him back as soon as possible. My mom's not much of a cat person. An animal person in general, actually."

"Lie, I thought I asked you to call me Susan, not Ms. Cardinal. That makes me feel old," she said as she walked over to the bathtub and looked at my legs. "How'd that happen?"

"Antha didn't like the fact that Porthos ran away with me, so she decided to slice me up as I walked in with him," I replied as I looked through the cabinets for their gauze. "Where's the gauze?"

"Downstairs. You never brought it up from last night. I'll go grab it for you," Ms. Cardinal said as she walked out of the bathroom. None of the cuts didn't look like they needed stitches at all, which was lucky because I didn't exactly know how to stitch cuts up, and I didn't feel like going to a doctor's office or to the hospital. I didn't like those places. Too many bad memories from when I was small, not to mention they smelled weird.

"I'm sorry," I heard Antha say as she jumped onto the bathtub next to me. "They shouldn't need stitches, though."

"I didn't think so. Next time, Antha, will you just ask questions first, and then ask questions later?" I asked her. She nodded slightly and stepped lightly into the tub, licking a few of the cuts that were still bleeding slightly. "Why are you so bipolar?" I asked her, confused as I set the towel to the side momentarily. She paused, and looked up at me, sighing slightly.

"I want to like you, yet Porthos always ignores me when you're around, and I don't really like that, so I act worse then. Yet then I feel bad about that, so I act nicer. Then Porthos starts ignoring me again and the cycle repeats," she explained softly.

"Well, Antha, I forgive you for these latest cuts. And the bite on my hand. Just please, don't give me cuts again," I said, softly stroking her fur. She nodded and I continued cleaning off the cuts, wanting to make sure they were clean before I got them bandaged up.

"I've got the gauze and some rubbing alcohol. I didn't know if you needed the alcohol," Ms. Cardinal said as she walked in. Antha quickly jumped out of the tub and walked out of the bathroom. I smiled slightly, and took the gauze from Ms. Cardinal and started unwinding a bit of it.

"I'll try," Antha whispered before slinking out the doorway.

"I don't need the alcohol. That would just plain hurt right now. I'll just wrap my legs up tightly," I said. "If I were to truly need to use some sort of antiseptic, I could use some peroxide, yet I don't really feel like going through that pain." I started wrapping my left leg, starting just below the knee and continuing down to my ankle before moving to my other leg.

"Lie, somehow you manage to make the bandages look nice. You're quite a pretty girl," Ms. Cardinal said as she put a hand on my shoulder. I pulled away from her touch, shaking my head slightly as I finished wrapping my leg.

"No, I'm not. If I was, I wouldn't have people whispering behind my back about how hideous I was," I muttered. Ms. Cardinal sighed and stood up.

"Well, let me know if you have any problems with your legs," she said. I nodded and quickly tried to stand up. My legs tried giving out, and Ms. Cardinal quickly caught me before I fell.

"Thank you," I said softly as I leaned on her.

"Why don't you stay over here for a few hours before you leave?" she asked me. I nodded and she helped me limp over to the kitchen table about twenty feet away from me.

"Hey there, Am. How's life at home?" Jordon, Lillian's older brother, asked. I shrugged as I sat down.

"Could be worse, could be a lot better," I replied. He laughed slightly and shook his head.

"You know, despite being a complete pessimist, you're actually pretty optimistic," he said with a smile. I shook my head quickly.

"I've never claimed to be a pessimist. I claim to be a realist, with pessimistic tendencies," I told him.

"Really?" he said as he took a drink from his glass of orange juice. "Is this glass half full, or half empty?"

"Empty, because you took a drink of it. Now this glass," I filled an empty glass about half-full of orange juice, "is half full, because I filled it up." Jordan shook his head slightly, smiling.

"Strange, Am, strange," he said as he finished his glass and stood up. "I've got to get going though. I've got my first competition in two days in Colorado."

"Bye, Jordan," I said as I waved him bye. He was a good skateboarder, and snowboarder, and he was going to spend a year doing competitions around the country as a graduation present.

"Here you are," Ms. Cardinal said as she set of plate of fruity pancakes in front of me. "Banana, with walnuts, just how you like them. Honey's in front of you."

"Do I smell banana pancakes?" Lillian said as she walked in. I smiled slightly as I grabbed a fork and started eating mine.

"Yep. Yours are on the table with chocolate chips in them," her mom said.

"Cool. Hey there, Am. Why're you here so early?" Lillian asked. I smiled slightly and set my fork down as I swallowed.

"Porthos somehow made his way to my place this morning. I decided to bring him back rather than let my mom hurt him," I replied. Lillian nodded slightly as she poured an ample amount of maple syrup on her pancakes.

"He seems to like you a lot. I've been contemplating just letting you have him," Lillian said, I looked over at her, raising an eyebrow at me. "What? Wait…sorry, forgot that your mom hates animals." I nodded, and watched as Porthos jumped onto the chair between Lillian and me.

"Exactly. I'd love to have him, yet it wouldn't work out very well," I said softly, smiling slightly as Antha jumped lightly into my lap.

"I think she's apologizing to you," Ms. Cardinal said as she sat down across from Lillian with her own plate of strawberry-banana pancakes. I smiled slightly, stroking Antha's fur softly

"For what?" Lillian asked me through a mouth full of half-chewed pancake.

"Nothing really. She just clawed at my legs. I'd like to see her handiwork with a knife though if she was human," I said, looking down at her.

"Why?"

"She didn't hit any major veins or arteries, and didn't even get that deep," I explained.

"That's good. You weren't hurt very badly," Lillian said. I shrugged and turned back towards my breakfast.

"Would you mind lending me a few hundred dollars? I'm wanting to go visit a friend in England, yet parents won't let me," I said after a few minutes.

"This wouldn't be Jonathan, would it?" Lillian asked me. I shrugged slightly, trying not to blush as I looked down at the table. "It is! You have to mom! He gave her a crystal necklace and they were so close to finally being a pair!"

"I'd love to Lillian, you know I would. I'm as much of a romantic as the next girl, yet we just don't have the money right now, especially with that broken window. Maybe later once we have some more money," Ms. Cardinal said.

"But Mom!"

"That's the last word. I haven't completely crossed it out yet," she said. "You're lucky I don't ground you."

"Fine," Lillian muttered. "How will you raise the money then?" I shrugged as I continued to help clear off the table.

"Might sell some things, probably," I said. "I'm not sure though. I'll find the money somehow.

"Well, good luck with that. I expect you'll be headed home now?" Ms. Cardinal asked. I nodded as I looked at the clock.

"Yeah. I probably should. It's getting pretty late in the day," I said. "Thanks for breakfast, Susan." She nodded, and I quickly, well, as quickly as I could with the various cuts on my legs, walked over to their front door.

"Oh, Lie, don't hesitate to come over if things get bad over at your place," Ms. Cardinal said.

"Alright," I said as I walked out, smiling slightly. I glanced down, and seeing Porthos following me, quickly pushed him back inside. "No following me, Porthos. Stay with your sister," I told him before closing the door and walking out to my car.

_Logged on: Broadway, Half-Mask, Straps_

_Broadway: hey guys…_

_Straps: WAY! I didn't think you would get on!_

_Half-Mask: Calm down, straps. Please. Otherwise, I'll get Boheme on._

_Straps: But…but…but…_

_Broadway: And why didn't you think I would be on?_

_Straps: *shrugs.* I wanted an excuse to go crazy? :P_

_Half-Mask: *sigh* I don't know why I even try…Hey Way (lol…that rhymes…) what's going on in your corner of the world?_

_Straps: IT DOES RHYME! THAT'S AMAZING!_

_Broadway: Calm down straps…Nothing much's happening her. Cat was screaming outside and my mom threatened to kill it. The usual._

_Straps: Poor guy…what's he look like?_

_Broadway: He's my friend's blue-cream American shorthair._

_Straps: Cool! You should totally take a picture of him…*hinthint_

_Half-Mask: Nothing Phantom related? Erik wouldn't be happy…_

_Broadway: Well, the rights to Phantom can be bought for a high school production…_

_Half-Mask: That's cool. *puts Punjab away*_

_Straps: Don't Punjab Broadway!_

The conversation degenerated into a meaningless quagmire of us trying to fine the most creative way to "kill" the others. I won by pulling out Madame Morrible, from Wicked.

_Half-Mask: Are you going anywhere, Broadway?_

_Broadway: Well, I'm hoping to go to England in a few months. I need the money first though…I still need to figure out how to get the money…_

_Straps: Really? Maybe you just need to ask Misto to poof you there._

_Half-Mask: Or maybe Erik can give you some money from his salary…_

_Broadway: I doubt Erik would give me money. I'm not that good of a singer. And I sorta need to meet Misto first…_

_Straps: …you're right…Maybe we could give you money!_

_Half-Mask: it's about three grand, Broadway..She'd be better off selling drugs…_

_Straps: DON'T SELL DRUGS!_

_Broadway: …I wasn't going to, Straps…_

_Straps: GOOD!1!_

_Broadway: …I think Mask needs to steal your sugar again…_

_Half-Mask: *sneaks off*_

After about an hour, I logged off and pulled out my water color set. I wasn't particularly good at painting, yet I figured originals from an up-and-coming artist might sell for something. And I figured I could sell some beaded bracelets as well, anything to get the three grand or so. I sighed softly as I glanced at my calendar. Well, at least it's summer…I thought to myself as I started mixing the paints and getting the paper ready.


	4. Chapter 4

I had about a thousand dollars by the start of school, three months after I truly met Antha and Porthos. I still needed at least another two thousand before December rolled around.

"Mé?" Porthos said as he rubbed up against my leg. Did I forget to mention that my mom and dad divorced? Yeah, well, they did, and my dad ended up dying in a car crash two days after the papers were signed. My mom decided to move to Florida the day after the funeral. All in all, my summer sucked, other than my frequent visits to Lillian's house. I ended up moving to her place when my mom moved, considering I couldn't justify leaving just for my senior year, and especially not to another state.

"Yes, Porthos?" I asked him as I looked away from the story I was working on and down at him.

"Are we going to be able to go?" he asked softly, looking up at me. I sighed softly. Sometimes it was hard to believe that he was a year older than Antha.

"Of course not, Porthos. Why do you think she barely talks to us anymore?" Antha snapped at him from my bed. I shook my head quickly.

"I'm trying. It's just hard trying to pull the money together," I said, glancing back at her. She laughed softly, shaking her head.

"I doubt that. If you were really trying to get us there and get the money, you'd be selling the stuff you don't need," Antha said. I turned my chair around and looked at her.

"Like what? If you're so knowledgeable, then why don't you do it?" I asked her, tossing the wireless keyboard onto the bed next to her. She quickly dodged the flying keyboard and jumped off the bed.

"Now, Am, don't get your tail in a twist," Antha said, sounding unfazed from the flying keyboard as she walked out of the room.

"I can't. I don't even have a stupid tail…" I muttered, feeling almost frumious at this point.

"She means you should sell your old dolls and such," Porthos said softly, rubbing against my legs again in a feeble attempt to try and calm me down. "Some of your older things that you barely look at any more." I glanced around, wondering what I could start with, before my eyes landed on my three china dolls from when I was a little girl. I only kept them because they were a reminder of what things were like back when they were better, when my mom didn't hate me.

"I guess I could. I don't use much stuff, and it would help get my room uncluttered…" I said softly as I picked up my camera to do a photoshoot of my dolls. "Can you get a bed sheet please, Porthos?" I asked him, glancing down at him as I brushed my doll off. He nodded and walked off.

"Here, Mé," he said, his voice slightly muffled by the sheet. I smiled slightly at him, spreading it out as I carefully laid my doll on it. I took a few pictures of it

"That doll had better fetch a pretty penny," I muttered under my breath as I uploaded it to ebay.

"Hopefully it'll get more than a penny, Mé. Otherwise it'll take forever to get the money. And are you sure that you want to do this? You don't have to just because Antha made a big deal about it," he said as he sat down on my bed. I walked over to him, sat down and quickly pulled him into a hug.

"I promised to get you to London, and I don't intend to break my promise now," I said softly.

"Really?"

"Yes, Porthos, really," I replied. He smiled up at me, and nuzzled me softly.

Only an hour later, the price for the dolls had risen to nearly a hundred dollars each. Aparently discontinued models of china dolls were very popular. I wasn't complaining, obviously, yet I just thought that it was interesting.

"Lunch, Am," Ms. Cardinal called down the stairs to my room. I looked up from the computer, and started walking up to the dining room.

"Hey, Am, do you mind helping me with this math?" Lillian asked me. I looked over her shoulder at the Algebra 2 homework she was working on, and sat down next to her. She was working on some simple stuff, or at least I thought it was simple, and I pulled out a sheet of paper for me to work on. This was our usual ritual. She would ask for math help, I would help her, and she would lay off my back for a while about being a more social person.

"I can help. Which problem?" I asked her. She sighed and pointed to one of the problems.

"X squared plus 3x minus 4. How do you solve it?" she asked. I pulled my chair closer to the table and wrote it out on the piece of paper.

"So, first you want to see if you can simplify things. Can you?"

"No. So do I go to the quadratic equation?"

"Well, you can, yet it's easier to see if you can factor it out."

"How?"

"Kay…" I shifted slightly and wrote out a different equation—x^2+6x+8—on the slip of paper. "Take this one for example. Write the factors of positive eight." I paused for a moment as she wrote them out.

"Now what?" she asked as she finished.

"Do any add up to be positive six?"

"Yeah, positive four and positive two. So?"

"So, that means that the factors are positive two and positive four. Parenthesis x+2, multiplied by parenthesis x+4, equals zero."

"Now you set each one equal to zero, and solve it from there, right?" she asked, looking up at me. When I nodded, she smiled and sighed from relief. "What would I do without you, Am?"

"Fail the class," I replied, smiling slightly.

"Probably. I'm glad I have you to help then," she said. I smiled broader as I started eating my lunch. Porthos walked over, and sat down at my feet, looking forlornly up at me.

"You know, Lill, your cat acts an awful lot like a dog," I said, smiling slightly. Lillian laughed and nodded.

"He does, doesn't he? I have no clue why though," she said. I felt a soft scratch on my leg and I looked down to see Porthos stalking off, his ears flat against his head.

"Apparently he doesn't think so," I whispered under my breath, feeling bad about what I said as I saw his reaction. I looked down, quickly finishing my lunch before walking down to my room.

"What did you do?" Antha asked me harshly as I walked down the stairs. I sighed and looked down at her.

"Where is he?" I asked softly. She sighed, rolling her eyes and followed beside me.

"In your room. Sitting on your bed," she said. I nodded and walked into my room. Sure enough, Porthos was curled up on my bed, his small frame shaking slightly. I bit my lip softly, before sitting down next to him.

"Porthos, what's wrong?" I asked him softly, reaching out to pet him softly. He looked away from me, moving a couple of inches away.

"Go away," he said softly.

"Porthos, what's wrong?" I asked again.

"You don't like me…" he muttered, crawling under my pillows.

"I never said that, Porthos," I said softly as I pulled him out from under the pillows. He hissed softly, yet curled up in my arms regardless.

"You said you didn't like dogs, though, and you just said I was like a dog. So, you don't like me," Porthos said sadly. I sighed and kissed his head softly.

"I never said I didn't like you, Porthos. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't be selling nearly all my worldly possessions in order to take you to London," I said. He nodded, nuzzling me softly.

"I guess you're right," he said, sounding slightly happier.

"I consider you to be one of my best friends, Porthos. Both you and Antha. Of course I like you," I said softly, stroking his fur gently. He nodded and nuzzled me again.

"Thank you, Mé," he said softly, falling asleep in my lap.

"You really shouldn't encourage him," Antha said as she walked into my room and jumped onto my bed next to me.

"And why, might I ask?" I said, rolling my eyes slightly.

"Because he likes you too much already," Antha said. "What happens when you leave, or we leave?"

"He'll live. I doubt that he likes me that much," I said, looking down at her. She scoffed softly and shook her head, looking down.

"You're all he talks about, Amélie. He barely even talks to me, let alone about our mom. I don't really remember her at all, so that's the only way I know her," Antha said softly. She looked away from me, and I could swear that I saw a tear go down her face.

"I'm sorry, Antha. I never meant for that to happen. I didn't even think it would happen," I said as I looked down at her. "How could I affect a cat so much?"

Antha shrugged slightly. "I don't know. All I know is that you've affected him," she said as she jumped down. "You need to work on homework." And with that, she walked out of my room, leaving me with a sleeping Porthos on my lap. I sighed softly, and set Porthos off to the side, deciding to start working on homework, reading about the first settlers of America.


	5. Chapter 5

"Nope…" _flick._ "Nope…" _flick._ "Lill!"

I was going to a Halloween party tomorrow, on the 30th, rather than on the 31st, due to Halloween being on a Sunday. You couldn't party very long on a school night, not to mention having a hangover at school was absolutely awful, at least, that's what I always heard from Lillian. This year, simply because I was living at her place, Lillian was forcing me to go to a costume party and I needed a costume.

"What, Am? Still can't find a costume?" she asked me. I shook my head slightly.

"Let's go over to the masks. You like masks," she said, pulling me over to the other side of the store.

"Can't I just stay at home? I'd feel much better about it," I said, looking up at the masks.

"No. I won't allow my best friend to stay home from one of the largest parties of the year," she said, pulling down a delicate silver and blue mask. "This one looks nice, not to mention I saw a dress that perfectly matched it. We'll just need to buy some specialty makeup, and you'll be the prettiest girl by far."

"You're going to treat me like a doll, aren't you?" I muttered, greatly annoyed at the idea. Lillian nodded and pulled me over to the dress that she thought went perfect with the mask.

"You look wonderful, Am. Quit worrying about how you look," Lillian said, moving me so I was positioned directly in front of the mirror. I made a small face at my reflection and spun around slightly.

"I guess so…" I said softly, not finding anything overtly wrong with how I looked. She had managed to get me to wear makeup, and not just any type of makeup, yet glittery blue and silver makeup. She had also managed to convince me to dye my dirty blonde hair a deep, midnight blue, and the tips of my hair a white.

"I told you you would look nice," Lillian said. I shrugged slightly and turned towards her in her skimpy waitress costume.

"When are we leaving?" I asked, sounding resigned to my fate.

"About now." She said, tossing a silver cloak at me. I caught it, and wrapped it around myself, and followed Lillian out to her car. We made our way there in silence, and as we drove up, she led me into the large warehouse serving as the venue for the party.

"It's about time, Lill. I thought you would have been here hours ago!" a boy said as Lillian and I walked into the large room filled with people and lit with several bright, pulsating, colored lights. It caused quite a disorienting effect.

"Sorry, yet I had to make sure that Am here was presentable," Lillian said as she accepted a glass of an amber liquid from him. He looked over at me, a smirk teasing at his lips.

"I didn't even recognize you, Amélie. Care to dance?" he asked me, holding a hand out to me expectantly. Lillian stepped behind me and pushed me towards him before I could politely refuse.

"Of course she does," Lillian said, smiling slightly as I glared at her.

"Wonderful," he said with a charming smile, guiding me to the center of the dance floor. I turned slightly towards Lillian, mouthing "I hate you" as I followed behind him. She smiled triumphantly, and nodded as I turned back to him.

"I'm not that good at dancing," I told him, hoping that he would be dissuaded from dancing with me. Unfortunately, he just pulled me closer to him, and smiled up at me.

"Don't worry about it. Just follow me," he said as he pulled me into a slow dance. I grimaced as I felt his hand move onto my back, and I tried to hide my distaste. We spun in a slow circle, and his hand slowly traveled down farther. I smiled slightly, and shoved my stiletto heel into his foot. Immediately he jumped back, grabbing his foot, and he glared up at me.

"Sorry, I can be so clumsy sometimes," I said, smiling slightly. I walked away from him, heading to a corner, as I pulled a book out of my sleeve.

"Really, Am? You stepped on John's foot for no reason?" Lillian asked me as she found me reading in the corner. I glanced up briefly from my book, before continuing reading it.

"No. I had a valid reason for stepping on his foot," I replied, turning a page.

"And what might that be?"

"I didn't like where his hand was going," I replied. Lillian sighed and sat down next to me.

"Am, he was just dancing with you! You need to lighten up. Maybe if you wouldn't be so hostile towards boys, you would actually have a date once in a while!" she said. I sighed softly, slipping a bookmark into where I stopped, and closed the book as I looked up at her.

"Maybe I would give them a chance if they weren't only talking to me because they were on a bet," I said, trying not to sound so bitter. "You wouldn't know what it's like to always struggle with actually staying a decent weight! Your looks are always so perfect."

"Am…" she said softly, touching a hand to my shoulder.

"Lill," I replied, marking the subject closed for discussion.

"Fine. Dance with only one boy, and I'll let you have the car to go back home. Deal?" Lillian asked me.

"Deal," I said, sighing as I handed her my book and stood up. "Sooner I dance with someone, the sooner I can leave."

"That's the spirit," Lillian said as she tossed my book back to me and I stuck it up my sleeve again. She walked me back to the dance floor, and pulled a boy that looked vaguely familiar over. "Kai, this is my friend, Amélie, Am, this is Kai." Kai blinked at me, and glanced over at Lillian.

"D—do you want to dance?" he asked me. I sighed and nodded.

"I've got nothing better to do," I said, sounding bored, and giving him my hand. He smiled and pulled me closer to him just in time for another slow song to start. Gods, is there nothing other than slow songs? I thought, trying not to roll my eyes. I started dancing with him, slowly ticking off the time before I could leave.

"You're a nice dancer. Danced your way straight into my heart," he said softly. I sighed and glanced up at him, rolling my eyes.

"You're really starting on cheesy pickup lines?" I asked him.

"You're right. Why not just go straight to the true action?" he asked, moving a hand down and leaning close to me.

"Get away from me," I said, pulling out of his grip and taking a few steps back.

"Yet, Am…" he said, reaching back towards me.

"It's Amélie," I said, taking another step back. It wasn't like me to run away from something, yet dealing with boys was something I didn't usually deal with. Usually acting cold towards them made them leave me alone.

"Amélie," he said, continuing towards me.

"She told you to leave her alone," a familiar voice said from around my feet. I looked down, surprised to see Antha and Porthos standing between me and Kai. They were glaring at him, hissing softly.

"What the!" Kai said, taking a few steps back.

"Didn't you know that I was dressed up as the Ice Witch?" I asked him, smiling slightly and taking another step forward. "Every witch needs her familiars."

"Call them off, if they are yours!" he said. I turned, not saying a word, and walked away, keenly aware of just how many people were staring at me leaving. I picked up the keys Lillian was offering me as I walked past her, and the two cats followed behind me.

"You okay, Mé?" Porthos asked me softly as he jumped into the car after Antha had. I looked down at him and nodded slowly.

"Yeah. I'm fine," I said as I push him off of the driver's seat and sat down.

"Why did you even go to the party, Mé? I thought you hated them," he said softly. I sighed and started the car.

"Lill forced her to, Porthos," Antha said softly as she curled up in the back seat.

"And I can't really say no to her for one party," I said softly. Porthos looked up at me, and he stepped onto my lap, curling up. "And Antha, why are you two here?"

"Well, I thought that you might want a friend or two, since you do hate those parties," Antha said. I glanced back at her as I was stopped at a red light.

"I thought you didn't like me much," I said.

"And I thought you would have liked me to be nicer to you," she replied. I sighed slightly and turned back to the road in front of me and I continued driving back home.

"What are you doing back home already, Lie?" Ms. Cardinal asked as she appeared at the top of the stairs. I took my shoes off after I walked in and sat on a step before answering her. Antha and Porthos had decided to stay outside for the night.

"A guy decided to get forward with me. Not to mention the music was awful and there was too many people," I replied, holding my head in my hands.

"Oh. Okay then. Do you know how Lill's getting home?" Ms. Cardinal asked.

"Kristen's giving her a ride home," I replied shortly. Ms. Cardinal sighed, and sat down next to me, holding a mug out in front of me.

"Tea?" she asked. I nodded and took the mug of beautifully brewed tea, smelling like one of her best blends of tea.

"Thank you," I said softy as I took the mug from her. She nodded and wrapped an arm around me.

"Want to talk about what happened?" she asked softly, sounding concerned. I shrugged slightly, blowing softly on the tea.

"Well, Lill forced me to dance with a guy, and he decided that he wanted to get closer to me than I wanted to. I ended up leaving soon after," I said. "Nothing really."

"Too bad. He lost a good catch," she said, smiling slightly at me. I pulled away from her slightly and looked away.

"I'm not a good catch," I muttered under my breath before drinking my tea and ignoring Ms. Cardinal's protests. I stood up after finishing my tea, set the mug in the sink and walked down to my bedroom.

"Well, good night then. I can tell you don't want to talk anymore," Ms. Cardinal said as I walked past her.

"Sorry," I muttered as I walked into my room. I walked over to the small window and slid it open, letting Porthos in.

"Thanks, Mé," he said, rubbing up against me before walking off somewhere.

"No problem," I said, looked around. "Where's Antha?"

"Here. I followed you in," she said from behind me. "And you really shouldn't talk to Lill's mom like that. She is the one who's letting you stay here." I sighed softly, and pulled my dress off.

"I know. I'm just stressed with everything going on. I don't exactly mean to be snippy," I said as I kicked my dress under my desk and sat down, leaning against the wall.

"Still, you shouldn't be snippy towards people. And cats. I'm not giving you permission to be snippy towards me and Porthos," Antha said. I sighed, closing my eyes. I could sleep like that, so long as someone turned the light off, considering my room was usually warm and it was nice to be simply in my underclothes for now. After a minute, I felt a small, warm, furry body crawl onto my lap, and I opened my eyes to see Porthos curled up on my bare skin, purring loudly. Blushing furiously, I pushed him off my lap and I quickly pulled on some flannel pants and a loose white shirt on.

"Do you not like me?" Porthos asked me, rubbing against my leg.

"No, I like you, Porthos. Just…that's awkward," I said, sitting down on my bed.

"Good," he replied, curling up in my lap again. I closed my eyes, slightly uncomfortable with how close he was trying to get to me.

"You're an idiot, Porthos," Antha said, flicking her tail lazily as she walked out of my room. He hissed at her, before nuzzling me softly and following her out. I sighed, leaned back against my pillows and fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning early, and I quickly went to go take a shower to try and get the hairspray and makeup out of my hair and off my face. Before undressing, I looked around the shower, making sure that there weren't any stray cats in there, and it was nice to be able to relax and not have to worry about anything for once.

"Hey, Lie?" I heard Ms. Cardinal call as I stepped out from the shower.

"Yeah?" I asked her through the doorway, starting to wring out my hair.

"How much money do you need?" she asked. I thought for a moment, doing some quick math in my head.

"Bout a couple thousand, I think. I'm not quite sure," I replied as I dried myself off and started to get dressed.

"I think I might be able to scrap together a thousand for you, if another window's not broken," she said. I looked up, slightly shocked and slipped a shirt on before opening the door and hugging her tightly.

"Really?" I asked her.

"Yep. Got a raise, and a bonus yesterday," she said, smiling slightly. "I was going to tell you last night, yet you didn't really seem to want to talk much."

"Thank you. Thank you a lot," I said, hugging her again before stepping into the bathroom to finish getting dressed. After I had finished dressing, I walked upstairs to have some breakfast, and was surprised to see a check on the table, addressed to me.

"What's that from?" I asked, looking the check over.

"DeviantArt. Remember, you put some artwork up there a couple of months ago, and that's the returns from it," Lillian said. I nodded, realizing that I had completely forgotten about that. It wasn't much money, yet it would give me some pocket change for some presents, if I actually decided to come back.

"So, I'll buy your plane ticket, and the hotel room," Ms. Cardinal said. I shook my head quickly.

"You can't pay for both," I said, smiling slightly. "I won't let you."

"I will anyways. When are you going to be there?" she asked me. I smiled slightly, looking down at the table.

"I'm leaving the sixteenth. I'll be staying there until after New Year's," I said. "You realize I have more than enough money now?"

"Yes. It's part of the reason as to why I'm paying for both," Ms. Cardinal said. "And you're sure about the sixteenth?"

"Yeah. It gives me plenty of time to find Jonathan," I said, smiling slightly. Actually, it gave me enough time to find the Junkyard, if it was real.

"So you're missing a day of school?"

"Just one, and we never do anything that day," I replied quickly. Ms. Cardinal nodded, and Lillian smiled, obviously glad that I would be finally pairing up with Jonathan.

"Thank you," I said again before turning back to my breakfast.

"You're welcome. It's the least I could do for an adopted daughter," Ms. Cardinal said. My smile froze slightly, and I turned towards my breakfast. I had been planning on staying there, and not coming back, in fact, my visa was already in place. How would they react to me basically running away? I quickly finished my breakfast, and, after setting my plate in the sink, walked down to my room.

"We're going to London, we're going to London!" Porthos said in a sing-song voice.

"Thank you, Am. I'm quite excited for this," Antha said. I nodded, and stroked her fur softly.

"I am too. Now, you've got a month to get ready," I said.


	6. Chapter 6

The days passed quickly, with not much happening other than Porthos trying to stow away in my car as I head to school, and my room slowly growing emptier. Nothing much happened from that, other than me being less of a pack rat than ever, and me always being late to school, due to spending a half-hour trying to find Porthos in my car. Lillian didn't force me to go to any other parties, luckily, and no boy dared talk to me after that, except for those in the theatre, which wasn't so luckily. I was almost thinking that I had overdone it with the Halloween stunt.

It was now the night of December 15th, and my car was already packed for my flight in the morning. At least, that's what Lillian and her mom thought. It wasn't exactly true. Yes, it was packed, yet my flight wasn't in the late morning. It was at about two o'clock in the morning. And Porthos and Antha were coming with me. And right now, I was patiently waiting in my room until the clock hit midnight so that I could leave. I didn't really know why I was leaving in secret, yet I figured it would be best, especially considering I wasn't coming back. I had dropped out of school, and I even canceled the flight back. I had a visa ready, and I was prepared to get a job and an apartment. I took a deep breath and glanced at the clock, seeing that it was already midnight. I stood up, picked up the sleeping Antha and Porthos' carrier cage, and walked out to my car, quickly starting it up and driving to the airport.

"Taxi" I called as I stepped out of the airport in London. A taxi pulled up and the driver helped me get my bags into the back as I slid into the back seat.

"Where to, miss?" he asked me as he started driving out. I pulled out a sheep of paper, reading out the address to him. It was a pretty cheap place, especially considering how close it was to London's West End. "So you're an American?"

"Yeah. At least, that's what it says on my passport," I said, looking out the window at the passing view.

"Why'd you come here? Family?" he asked. I shook my head slightly.

"Friends. Promised I would bring them things from home, and that I would see his first performance. Not sure when it is though," I replied, trying to keep my eyes open.

"You have a friend on West End? What's his name?"

"You probably haven't heard of him, considering I don't think he's made his debut yet. Jonathan Renolds is his name, though," I said.

"You're right. I've not heard of him. I'll be sure to keep an eye out for him though," the taxi driver replied.

"I figured. It doesn't really surprise me," I replied, smiling slightly as I leaned against the window. Hopefully I would be able to find Jonathan. It would be nice to find out how he was.

"Jetlag?" the man asked, glancing up at the rearview mirror.

"Mostly tired, I think. I've been up for over twenty four hours, I think," I said, closing my eyes momentarily, before opening them quickly and sitting up straighter.

A few minutes later, the taxi driver made it to the hotel and I collapsed on the bed after checking in, utterly exhausted.

"Um…Am? Can you possibly let us out?" I heard Antha say from the carrier. I stood up, blinking quickly, and walked over to them, tripping slightly on the way over. I knelt down, unlatching their cage, and I unzipped my huge suitcase, starting to get their stuff ready for their stay.

"Sorry," I said as they quickly walked out of their carrier. I glanced up at the clock to see what time it was, and when I saw that it was only nine o'clock before groaning softly.

"Can we go explore London, Mé?" Porthos asked me, rubbing up against my leg.

"It's nine at night, Porthos," I replied, pulling my pajamas out of my bag.

"Please?"

"Fine. Don't get into any fights. I'll probably be out tomorrow morning," I said, quickly pulling the pajamas on and crawling into bed. I quickly set the alarm, and had barely closed my eyes before I felt something poking my cheek. I opened my eyes and looked at Porthos sitting in my face.

"Can you get the door? We're not exactly tall enough," he said. I nodded and stumbled over to the door, opening it slightly before making my way back to the bed and sleeping, tripping on a cord on the way over.

"Wake up, Mé! You've been asleep long enough!" I heard Porthos say. I sat up quickly, looking around and finally at the clock.

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked him, blinking before standing up. He jumped lightly down onto the floor and looked over at Antha.

"Bout a day? Not sure, yet it's the eighteenth now," he said, looking back up at me.

"I've lost a day of sightseeing? Great…" I muttered, walking over to get my clothes out and get dressed.

"Well, you haven't really had much more than a couple of hours of sleep every night for a while, Am. It's about time you actually sleep for a while," Antha said softly. I nodded and started changing into some clean clothes.

"True. So, what are you going to do today?" I asked them.

"Go out and look for the junkyard again. After asking you for some food, of course," Porthos said quickly. I nodded, and pulled the bag of cat food I had packed in a slightly smaller bag, and I started getting them a small meal. "Are you going to go with us?" he asked before eating quickly.

"I'm not a cat, Porthos. I can't really go around with you. No, I'm headed over to the Buckingham Palace and various places today," I said, picking up a small backpack that I used instead of a purse.

Buckingham Palace was quite amazing, in my mind. After the Palace, I went to the Tower of London, and the London Eye. That evening though, I was pretty tired from all the walking I had done from that day, and I headed back to the hotel room, only detouring to grab something quick to eat for dinner. Antha and Porthos made it back shortly after I walked in, and I set some food out for them after opening the door. They ate quickly, and as I went to walk back out to the lobby to ask for the wireless password, I felt a persistent tugging at my pants leg.

"C'mon! You've got to come see them!" he said, his voice slightly muffled by the pants. I looked down at him, trying to shake him off.

"Who do you mean?" I asked him, turning away from the door when he wouldn't let go.

"Porthos wants you to see a couple of our new friends. They said we could show our friend, meaning you, their home. I don't really think they know that you're a human, yet Porthos is dead-set on getting you to meet them," Antha explained. I looked slightly confused as I started following Porthos out of the hotel room.

"They'll love her, Antha. Have faith for once," he said.

"I'll meet them if it gets him to shut up about it, and gets him to let go, Antha," I said, trying to shake Porthos off again. He let go, and I started walking out the back door, following the two cats out to their friends' home.

"We're here!" Porthos called as we walked up to a junkyard a few minutes later. I stopped, not really wanting to figure out if this was the same Junkyard as from the musical. Antha continued walking, and Porthos looked back at me, tugging on my pants leg again.

"It's the Junkyard," I said as I carefully stepped in, looking around at the various piles.

"Mr. Straps, Sir?" Porthos called as he stepped into the center of the clearing. I looked around, half-hoping that this "Straps" wasn't Munkustrap Porthos was talking about. It was interesting, I noticed, that the props and such that made up the junkyard was the same size as they were in the musical, not normal-sized like many fanfiction writers thought.

"Munkustrap?" Antha called after a moment.

"Dammit…" I muttered, my heart sinking slightly as I felt like running before Munkustrap walked out and found a human in his home. After another moment, a silver and black tabby cat walked out of a small hiding hole, and looked at the two cats before glaring at me.

"This is our friend, Mr. Straps," Porthos said softly. "You said we could bring a friend." The tabby cat hissed softly, jumping down from the shelf he was standing on and walked over to me.

"You never said we couldn't bring a human, Munkustrap," Antha said. Munkustrap shot Antha a brief glare before mewing something softly to me.

"I don't know what you're saying. The only cats I can understand are Antha and Porthos, sir," I said, watching as he circled slowly around me. He looked back at the place where he came out of, and two calico cats walked out in sync together. Cori and Tanto…who would ever have thought that I'd meet them…I thought softly to myself. They glanced at Antha before walking over to me.

"Sit down, please, Am," Antha said, sitting down herself. I glanced at the Twins before sitting down like I assume they had asked. "Lean back against the ground, close your eyes, and don't panic," Antha continued. I did as I was told, wondering what they were getting at, before feeling a sharp pain above my left eye, and on the top part of my right ear.

"Sorry about that," a female voice said. "You can get up now, by the way." I nodded and sat up, touching my eyebrow and ear, feeling a small ring in both places, that most definitely wasn't there before. I opened my eyes, stood up, and turned around, looking at the cats, which all now looked like the Jellicles from the musical, rather than normal cats.

"This is just slightly unexpected…" I said, looking up at Munkustrap and noting, with some annoyance, that he was a few inches taller than me. I looked back over the Twins, still wondering why they had to bite me.

"Biting you is required if you want to be able to see us pretty much forever. Anything else fades after a couple of hours," Tantomile said, looking back at me. I nodded, glancing down at the ground. I had never actually thought that I would meet the Jellicles, and especially not like this, so I was feeling quite awkward as the only human around. Especially when a cat was taller than me.

"Now that you can understand us, mind telling me why you came here?" Munkustrap asked me. I glanced briefly over at Antha and Porthos, before looking back up at Munk.

"I didn't realize that I was being led here, sir. If I knew, I wouldn't have come. This is your home, and humans shouldn't be here," I said, not making eye contact with him. I didn't know how he would take my answer, yet I figured I should err on the side of being utterly polite, and slightly flattering, to be safe.

"No, why are you in London, Amélie?" he asked, sighing slightly. "From what Porthos and Antha have told me, you've come nearly halfway across the world to deliver a couple of cats here.

"Originally, I just wanted to see if you were real…" I muttered softly, looking down at the ground. "Not to mention, I didn't really have much of a reason to refuse."

"You…wanted to see if we were real?" Munk asked, sounding surprised. I nodded slightly.

"Like the musical…" I muttered softly, flushing slightly as I felt like a small child admitting that. I glanced up at them and saw Cori suppressing a small laugh as Tantomile rolled her eyes slightly.

"That idiot. T.S. was sorta clairvoyant , yet Lloyd mixed all the pieces up. Made Growltiger seem like just a character in a play. Quite annoying," Tanto said.

"And the fanfiction about Misto and Tugger being together? Bomba would have a fit! It's such a ridiculous idea," Cori said, laughing softly.

"Or Misto being Mac's son," Tanto added.

"Or Munk and Lonz—" Cori tried continuing before Munk cut him off.

"Guys! Back to reality!" he said. I could swear he was turning slightly pink at the mention of the Munk/Lonz slash.

"You know about fanfiction?" I asked, slightly surprised that a couple of cats would know about it.

"You would too if you were a character in a story. It's like knowing rumors about you," Cori said.

"Guys! Please, focus," Munk said. "We have to figure out what we're going to do about this human."

"Sorry…" I said softly, my smile fading slightly at Munk's slightly – harsh tone. Cori laughed again softly before looking back over at Munkustrap.

"Mr. Strap, do you think she might be able to watch the Ball?" Porthos asked. I had actually almost forgotten about him and Antha. "She won't tell anyone about what would happen there, and she won't even tell anyone where she's going."

"Are you absolutely sure about that?" Munkustrap asked him. Porthos nodded firmly, and I nodded as well.

"I wouldn't dream of telling anyone," I said, looking back at Porthos. He smiled slightly at me before looking back at anyone.

"The Mé I know would never go back on a promise," he said.

"I need to talk to my father before I make any decisions, yet I think we might be able to pull it off. Porthos, I give you fair warning. If Amélie ever tells someone about what she saw, you will be banished from the tribe. No questions asked. The ball is on the solstice, in three days. Plan to be here before nightfall. Porthos and Antha will tell you our final decision."

"Thank you," I said, slightly awestruck. "Thank you for the offer, at any rate."

"You're welcome. Of course, after the Ball, you might not be thanking me. Everlasting Cat only knows how she, or Bast, will react to a human being there," Munkustrap said. I nodded, not really taking it very seriously, considering I didn't really believe in a god, or goddess.

"Good. Now, why don't you leave before someone comes out and decides to attack you?" Tantomile said softly, looking at a point above my shoulder. I nodded quickly and started making my way back to the hotel, picking my pace up as I heard a chorus of angry shouts and voices erupt from the clearing as I stepped outside the Junkyard.

"You can go, they decided," Porthos said softly as he walked into the hotel room the next morning. Antha followed silently behind him.

"That's going to be nice," I said as I closed the glass door behind them, trying to get used to how they looked now, rather than how I normally saw them.

"What are you going to do until then?" Antha asked, sitting next to me as I sat down on the bed. I shrugged slightly, leaning back on the mattress.

"Don't really know. Might just look more around London and head to the West End sometime," I said, looking up at the celling. "You?"

"Probably hang out at the Junkyard most of the time. Get used to not having a human. Speaking of which, can you take our collars off, please?" Antha asked me.

"Can't you?" I asked, sitting up slightly. "Wait, Lill knotted it? I'll get it for you," I added as I looked at it. Antha nodded slightly and I slowly started unknotting the collar.

"So you're not going back to the Junkyard, Mé?" Porthos asked softly. I shook my head as I dropped the collar onto the floor and started working on Porthos' collar.

"I'm already pushing my luck by going to the Ball, Porthos. I don't really want to get attacked," I said as I dropped his collar onto the floor next to Antha's. Porthos nodded sadly and turned towards me, softly setting a paw on my leg. I pulled away from his touch quickly and walked over to my backpack.

"Where are you going?" Antha asked.

"Out," I replied shortly. "You know how to let yourself out. Door's open." I glanced back at them before walking out, deciding to go to a museum or something.


	7. Chapter 7

"We're headed out," Antha said the next day. I nodded absentmindedly as I looked through a small booklet with the various plays and musicals on West End now. I looked up as they walked out the open door, and sighed softly as I noticed Porthos still not talking to me. Apparently he didn't like something I did. I didn't know what, yet he had refused to talk to me since I left yesterday morning. I slung my backpack over my shoulder as I tossed the booklet off to the side, and decided to check the West End out to find out if Jonathan actually made it yet or not.

"And you're sure you're looking for our Jonathan Renolds?" the stage manager of _Cats_ asked me. I nodded, quite sure of myself. I had been looking around West End for the past hour, and I was directed here from _Phantom of the Opera_.

"Yes, ma'am," I replied, trying to keep my voice even. "I'm quite sure your American Jonathan Renolds from Oregon is the same Jonathan Renolds from Oregon who told me he was coming to London to be on the West End. Can you just ask Jonathan if he knows me?" The stage manager sighed deeply and nodded before walking away

"Am?" I heard a familiar voice say from behind me. I turned and smiled broadly as I saw Jonathan walking up to me.

"Jonathan! I didn't think I'd be able to find you!" I said before letting out a small squeak as he hugged me tightly. I hugged him back, though, and smiled softly.

"What are you doing here, Am? I didn't think I would see you for another few years!" he said, pulling away slightly.

"A few reasons. I wanted to see if you had gotten anywhere, and a couple of friends of mine asked me if I could bring them some things," I said, smiling slightly. "So you're actually acting onstage?"

"Actually, I am. My first show's tonight. Somehow I managed to get here just before the auditions for some open spots. That mean a lot to me that you wanted to see how I was doing," he said. I shrugged slightly before hugging him again.

"That's quite cool that you got a part. How have you been, by the way?" I asked.

"Pretty good. I still can't believe that you came here though, and on the day of my first show. Did you hear which part I got? I'm pretty sure he's your favorite…" he trailed off, smiling slightly.

"You got Misto?" I asked, smiling. Though he actually got a part was a surprise for me, considering actors rarely get a job in a show so soon to when they actually start, it wasn't much of a surprise that he got Mistoffelees.

"Yep. Did you not hear what I was in? I was sure you had to have heard, considering you wouldn't come if I was in just any musical," he said, looking slightly confused at me. I shook my head slightly.

"I hadn't even heard that you had gotten a part. No one in the theatre's been telling me much," I replied. "It took me a good hour or so to find you."

"That's a surprise. I didn't think it would take such a short amount of time," he said.

"Well, considering Andrew owns this theatre, and Phantom's, and Love Never Die's, I'm surprised it took that long. The only reason why it took so long was that the Phantom stage manager refused to tell me if there was a Jonathan Renolds in any ALW production," I said. He laughed softly and looked down at me for a moment before touching my neck softly.

"You're wearing my necklace still," he said. I looked down slightly. In all truth, I had pretty much forgotten about it.

"I don't really ever take it off," I said softly. "I like having a reminder of you. You were one of the first boys to be nice to me." He smiled slightly and pulled out his cell phone, glancing at the clock on it.

"Hey, Am. I've got some time to kill, so why don't I show you around?" he asked me. I smiled and nodded quickly. Getting to see around a professional theatre, and with the one guy I really liked? It was almost too much for me to process. He smiled back at me and started leading me down to the stage from the house.

"Thanks for offering to show me around. Are you sure you can do this?" I asked him, sticking close by him. He shrugged slightly, smiling as he walked up the steps onto the stage.

"As you know, there's no pit, so unfortunately you can't look in there. Otherwise I'd show you it," Jonathan said. "It's nice that we don't have to constantly watch for it. Also, the set's permanently attached to the stage and there isn't much special rigging, other than my entrance and Griz's exit." I nodded, looking around.

"Nice and simple. Not much to screw up," I said. He nodded.

"Definitely not like that show we last had," he said, smiling back at me. I nodded, thinking back to his last show with the rotating set that weighed probably close to a ton that we had to spin a couple of times for each show. He started leading me back stage, and I stuck close to him as the random techies were shooting me death – glares from where they were milling about. He put an arm around me, and I gave him a one-armed hug, smiling slightly.

A while later, after Jonathan had taken me through the cats and everything, he looked down at his phone again and sighed.

"I need to start getting ready for the show," he said.

"What time is it?" I asked, slightly confused, like I usually did after spending any amount in a room without windows.

"Nearly five. Show starts at seven, which only leaves me an hour and a half to get everything on. Want to come with me, or stay and look around?" he asked.

"Go with you. I don't think the techies appreciate someone off the streets coming in and trespassing," I said, smiling slightly, and thinking of the guy that had been following us, probably making sure that the actor and random person didn't destroy anything.

"I'll probably hear about this for a week, yet oh well," he said as he started leading me down to his dressing room.

"I don't have to stay," I said as we walked in. "You've already done more than enough for me."

"No, I don't mind all that much. They've just been bugging me to get a girlfriend," he said, slipping his shirt off and pulling his makeup off.

"What, are the boys thinking you're gay or something?" I asked, smiling slightly as I teased him. He rolled his eyes slightly before nodding.

"They don't believe me when I say I'm straight, considering they've never seen me be affectionate towards any girls," he said as he started tying his hair out of his face.

"Aw…Poor Jonathan. Everyone thinks he's gay," I said as I sat down.

"Ha, ha, very funny, Am. You know better than most how just because I'm in theatre doesn't mean I'm gay," he said. I shrugged slightly as I leaned my head on the back of the chair, still smiling.

"I know. It's still fun to tease boys about it though," I said. He nodded as he started the finer details of his face.

"Hey, Am, do you mind handing me my wig?" he asked me after a moment's silence. I nodded and grabbed the black wig off from the shelf, handing it to him.

"Thanks a ton, Am. It's annoying that they don't have anyone to help me at all," he said.

"Now, it's not really like you need anyone. All you have to do is paint your face, get a wig on and slip into a costume," I said, pulling said costume off of its hanger and handing it to him after he fixed his wig.

"Thanks again, Am," he said as he started changing. "So, Am, what are you brining your friends here?"

"Just a couple of their pets. I was watching them until they were settled in their new place, and then I decided to bring them over," I said after a moment. "Need some help with that?" I asked him as I saw him struggling with a hook at the base of his neck.

"Sure, I'll take some help," he said. I quickly latched the hook for him and took a step back. Despite having seen the object of my fixation in all his half-naked glory, it didn't give me butterflies like you normally hear people getting. Probably came from working with costumes and already seeing plenty of guys—and girls as well—half-naked, and sometimes completely naked. I was quite a strange person. He turned back around towards me, taking a deep breath. "I've got to get going. I'll go ask Candy, the stage manager, if there's any extra tickets."

"You don't have to go to any extra trouble for me, Jonathan," I said as I followed him out of the dressing room. He shook his head slightly.

"It's not extra trouble, Am. You came half-way across the world. The least you can get is a free show to see your favorite musical," he said as he walked back out to the stage. I continued following close behind him, and he stopped next to the stage manager I had talked to earlier.

"What is it Jonathan?" she asked him.

"Do you know if there's an extra seat available for Amélie here tonight?" he asked her as the rest of the cast subtly started watching us.

"Probably. Will you use one of your tickets?" she asked him. Jonathan nodded and I walked up next to him. Candy nodded slightly and she wrote a note on a clipboard. "Follow me," she said as she started walking out to the box office.

"Play along, please," Jonathan whispered in my ear as he wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed me softly on the cheek. "I'll see you later, darling," he said slightly louder. I kissed him back softly on his cheek.

"I can't wait, sweetheart," I said, smiling slightly before hugging him and quickly catching up to Candy.

"Since when did you have a girlfriend?" I heard one of the boys ask Jonathan.

"Since about a year ago," Jonathan replied before I walked out into the lobby, smiling still.

"Amélie, do you mind coming here, please?" Candy called from a small office. I nodded and walked over to her, watching as she wrote out a small note.

"Now, since the show starts at seven, you've got less than one hour to get some nice clothes and get back here. When you get here, you'll need to give this note to the man at the box office so that you can get your ticket. House opens at six thirty, by the way," she said as she handed me a note.

"Thank you. Do you know where any place to buy clothes near here?" I asked her.

"Do you not have any?"

"I didn't bring any dress clothes over here because I didn't think I would be going anywhere nice. Ticket prices to places tend to be expensive," I replied. She nodded and wrote down an address on a second slip of paper.

"Here there should be some good clothes," Candy said as she handed me the second slip of paper. I glanced down at it, nodding as I saw the address; it was a small shop four blocks from here.

"I'll be back then," I said. Candy smiled slightly, nodding and I walked out, hoping I could make it in time.

By the time six fifty came around, I walked into the theatre, glad I had managed to make it in time. I had figured I wouldn't get there until the show had started, and what a pity that would have been. Well, I had stopped by the hotel room to write a note to Antha and Porthos, so it only would have served me right if I was late. At any rate, I walked up to the box office, and handed them Candy's note. They nodded and handed me a ticket, and I gladly started walking up to where my seat was. A few minutes later, I sat down, setting the yellow rose that I had bought down next to my chair, ready to watch the musical.

"At the risk of sounding like a complete fan girl, oh my gosh, Jonathan! You were amazing! Your dancing was amazing!" I said, smiling broadly as I walked up after the show. He smiled, and started leading me to his dressing room so that he could change.

"Thanks, Am. For everything, by the way," he said as we walked into the dressing room and he closed the door.

"Well, here's one more thing," I said, smiling slightly as I gave him the rose. He smiled, taking the rose, yet he looked slightly confused.

"Yellow? I figured you would have done red," he said as he set it down before looking back up at me. I shrugged slightly.

"I didn't know how you would react to getting a red rose. Decided not to push my luck and go for the one that means friendship," I replied, glancing down. "Thank you, though, Jonathan."

"Am, I'm only doing what's right. I was a step away from moving back to the US," he said. I looked sharply back up at him, shocked at that.

"No! You can't just give it up as soon as you've made it! People would kill to be in your shoes!" I said, shaking my head quickly.

"I think you might just be one of the best friends I've ever had. Eryn hasn't even called me since I moved here. Not to mention I think she unfriended me on Facebook," Jonathan said as he leaned against the counter. I smirked slightly at the mention of Eryn, a mutual friend of ours who thinks that she's the best actress to come around in the history of theatre. I had known her since we were in elementary school, and she didn't even bother talking to me when she got into theatre, despite us seeing each other every day.

"Too bad. She unfriended one amazing guy," I said softly, smiling as I looked up at him.

"You're much nicer than people usually make you out to be. Where are you staying, by the way?" he asked.

"A hotel a few blocks away. Why?" I replied.

"Well, I've got an extra room in my apartment, and I was wondering if you wanted to stay with me, if you weren't going home for a while," he said, looking down at the ground rather than me. I smiled, not quite sure I had heard him correctly, yet I shook my head, remembering why I had actually come to London.

"I can't. Not for a couple of days at the very least. My friends are coming over tomorrow, and they're meeting me at my hotel. I can't really just stay at your place," I told him. He nodded slowly, and I turned, grabbing a slip of paper and wrote down the address of the hotel and my room number before handing it to him.

"What's this?" he asked.

"Where I'm staying. That way, the day after tomorrow, you can swing by my place, pick me up and show me your favorite places around town," I said, smiling shyly.

"It's a date then," he said, smiling broadly.

"I've got to get going, Jonathan. I have one last thing for you though," I said, feeling brazen as I leaned close to him, kissing him softly on the cheek before walking out of the dressing room.

"Shoot! I'm still in costume!" I heard Jonathan exclaim from behind me as I continued walking out of the theatre, still smiling. After walking out of the theatre, I took a deep breath before walking down the street to the hotel, hoping Antha and Porthos hadn't been waiting for me long as I saw how dark the sky was.

"It's about time!" Antha said as I walked into the hotel room and opened the back door. I sighed slightly as they walked past me and I closed the door behind them. "Why'd you lock the door?"

"I didn't feel like getting my stuff stolen, Antha. I've got some valuable stuff in here," I said as I walked back to the bed.

"Well, why were you out so late?" Antha asked. I rolled my eyes, not feeling the need to answer to a cat.

"Obviously she found someone better than us," Porthos said bitterly. I looked up sharply at him, and he looked away from me, curling up on the bed.

"No, I was out at a play, and it didn't end until late," I replied. "And I wouldn't say anything, Porthos, considering I'm going to spend all day tomorrow with you and Antha."

"Really?" he asked softly, looking over at me. I nodded firmly and he walked over to me, hugging me tightly. I stiffened slightly, not expecting that before hugging him back.

"So you're still going to the ball?" Antha asked me. I pulled away from Porthos as I looked over at her.

"Do you want me to?" I asked her, curious as to what she would say now. She nodded. "I'll be sure to make it, just for you two. I told my friend I'd see him the day after tomorrow, so I'll just end up being sleep deprived as I see him," I said. Antha smiled, along with Porthos and we hugged each other, looking like quite a strange trio.


	8. Chapter 8

"Wake up, Mé!" Porthos said as a weight fell on my stomach. I doubled over slightly, groaning as I spun to my side, pushing the weight off of me. After a moment, I opened my eyes to a cat – Porhtos that I was used to looked into my eyes, and I touched a hand to my eyebrow, feeling the ring still firmly in place. Slightly strange that Jonathan didn't say anything about it, come to think of it.

"Can you look like a cat and a Jellicle?" I asked him, wondering if I was still asleep and dreaming this up.

"Yeah. Porthos has just decided to look like a cat because he thought you would be more comfortable then," Antha said, I rolled my eyes slightly, yet I softly stroked Porthos' fur for the first time in God-knows-how-long. He rubbed against my hand and I sat up straighter, leaning against the headboard. Porthos sat down next to me, now looking like a Jellicle, and bouncing up and down excitedly.

"And you never need to want to spend any time with me when I'm like this. Yet aren't you excited for tonight?" he asked, grinning widely. I looked amused at him, nodding.

"Honestly Porthos, I should be more excited than you. It is my turning year and all," Antha said rolling her eyes slightly. Porthos looked down, his ears drooping slightly Antha teased him. I smiled softly and wrapped an arm around him in a one-armed hug. He smiled, and held my hand, squeezing it softly. I pulled away slightly, yet he held onto me tighter and I frowned slightly.

"Can you let go of me, Porthos?" I asked him, trying to pull away again. "Let go, Porthos." I pulled away hard from him, yet he still held onto me. I kicked him in the side, and he let go, crying out softly. I stood up, picking up my bag before walking out without another word.

"She did tell you to let go of her…" I heard Antha say before I closed the door behind me, slamming it shut without really meaning to. I took a deep breath as I stood outside the door, and I decided to walk out to the small café across the street from the hotel.

"Am! Hi there," a very familiar voice said from down the street as I walked up to the café. I paused, looking towards the source of the voice.

"Hi there, Jonathan," I said, smiling broadly as I saw him rushing towards me.

"I thought you were spending the day with your friends," he said as he stood in front of me. I shook my head slightly, still smiling.

"They're running late, and told me to go get breakfast by myself," I said. "What are you doing down here, considering I told you that I'd be busy all day?"

"I, uh, usually go to this café for breakfast," he said, looking slightly guilty. I laughed softly.

"You're a horrible liar," I said as I hugged him. "Do you want to get something to eat, Jonathan?" He smiled nodding slightly as he led me in and towards the back.

"I'll get the food. Tea for you, right?" he asked. I nodded and he walked off to get me some food.

A few minutes later, he returned with two small plate of fruit and two mugs of English breakfast tea, or at least I thought so by the smell of it.

"I didn't think I would see you at all today," I said as I picked up a fork and started eating. He swallowed his bite of food before answering.

"Neither did I, yet I was hoping to."

"Really? Why were you hoping to?" I asked him. He glanced down and took a sip of his tea.

"I wanted to give you something…" he said, looking up at me. I looked down at his hands, slightly confused.

"Wha—" I asked, getting cut off as he kissed me from across the small table. I pulled away, slightly confused.

"You kissed me last night and never gave me a chance to respond," he said.

"Well, I'm sorry about that…" I said softly, slightly in shock as I leaned against the back of the chair. He smiled and went back to eating.

"My offer still stands, by the way, about you staying at my place," he said after a minute.

"And I still think I might take you up on that offer tomorrow. I'm staying at my friend's place tonight, yet you could pick me up tomorrow afternoon to move my stuff over to your place," I said.

"That sounds like a plan," he said, smiling slightly. "Are you planning on just staying here, or going back home?"

"Staying. I'm not really planning on going back there. Home situations aren't the best, and I don't want to be a bother for the people I'm currently staying with," I replied before taking a drink of the tea.

"Okay then. Sounds like you've got some work ahead of yourself," he said. I nodded wearily. "What are you planning on doing today?"

"My friends are going to hang out until they take me to their place tonight. Not sure the exacts," I said. He nodded slightly and we finished our breakfast.

"I expect you have to go now. I'll see you tomorrow at noon, Am," Jonathan said as I finished. I nodded, smiling.

"I'll see you then," I said before walking away from the table.

"I'm sorry, Mé," Porthos said, rubbing against my legs as a cat as I walked into the hotel room a few minutes later. I glanced down at him, sighing slightly. Choosing to ignore his apology, I sat down on the bed, and flipped on the tv.

"Am?" Porthos asked, sounding hesitant as he jumped on the bed next to me and pushed his head under my hand. I sighed again, and picked him up, gently setting him down on the ground.

"Not today, Am, please. We might not get to see you again," Atha said softly, looking over at me. I sighed for a third time, realizing she had a point, and I knelt down at the ground, looking at Porthos' small form under the bed, curled up tightly.

"I'm sorry, Porthos. I shouldn't be acting so awful to you. You've been a really good friend," I said as I carefully picked him up and pulled him close to me in a hug. He pulled away from me before hugging me properly in his Jellicle form.

"I shouldn't have done that in the first place either. I'm sorry," he said softly as he pulled away. I nodded and we sat between the two beds, leaning against the nightstand.

"Let's not worry about that now, Porthos," I said softly. He nodded and we sat there, watching tv until it would be time for the ball.

"It's time," Antha said, her excitement barely concealed from her voice. I smiled and followed behind her and Porthos out the back door and to the Jellicle Junkyard, excited for the night, and hoping that I could stay awake.

"Cutting it close, aren't we?" a black and white patched tom, Alonzo, asked Antha and Porthos.

"Sorry, Lonz," Antha said, ducking her head slightly as she walked in after Porthos. I went to follow them, yet Alonzo put a paw on my shoulder and I stopped, looking back up at him.

"This way, human. You are you make as little of an obstruction as possible. No talking or trying to sing along. You won't move from the spot you're given, and you will leave as soon as the Jellicles disperse from the night's events. Am I understood?" he asked. I nodded quickly and he started leading through the trails to the clearing. He quickly jumped up onto a small ledge. "You will stay up here," he said. I nodded and quickly started trying to climb up, annoyed that this cat had made it up easier than I had. He rolled his eyes, sighing loudly, and pulled me up.

"Thank you," I muttered under my breath as I sat down.

"Don't mention it," he said, shooting me a glare before disappearing into the shadows. I nodded slightly and turned to the clearing, waiting for the moon to rise.

"Human, it's time for the Jellicle Choice," a voice said as I opened my eyes. I looked around and realized that I had fallen asleep early into the Ball. I looked back at the source of the voice, nodding slightly as I stood up.

"Thank you, Mr. Mistoffelees," I said softly, instantly recognizing the dark, sparkly cat. He nodded, smiling slightly and jumped back down to the clearing, rejoining the Jellicles.

_And now, Old Deuteronomy,_

_Just before dawn,_

_Through a silence you feel you could cut with a knife_

_Announces the cat that can now be reborn_

_And come back to a different Jellicle life..._

Old Deuteronomy slowly stood up and walked over to a frail cat whose name I didn't know, and that familiar, albeit annoying refrain of "Up, up, up past the Russel Hotel. Up, up, up to the Heavyside Layer" started being sung by the rest of the cats. Soon enough, the cat had ascended into the Heavyside layer.

You've heard of several kinds of cat, and my opinion now i—Old Deuteronomy's song was cut short as a single shaft of moonlight came down, focusing on me. I looked up, confused, and back down at the Jellicles as they froze, and looked towards me. I tried moving out of the beam of light, yet it seemed to follow me. After a moment, I gave up and took a step back, trying to make myself small.

"What's—"

"Munk—"

"Don't know—"

"Old Deuteronomy?"

"It appears that the Everlasting Cat is planning something…" Old Deuteronomy said before I blacked out.


	9. Chapter 9

I woke up, groggily, and had a hard time focusing on the figures standing above me. As I slowly sat up, holding a hand to my head, grimacing slightly as my head started aching, the Jellicles quickly backed away from me, some looking fearful, and others looking intrigued. Looking around the small circle that had appeared as the Jellicles backed up, my eyes locked onto the two cats that hadn't stepped away from me—Porthos and Old Deuteronomy.

"What happened?" I asked softly, looking up at them as I remained sitting on the ground. "Why am I in the clearing, rather than on that ledge?"

"The Everlasting Cat has changed you, it appears," Old Deuteronomy said calmly and slowly. I looked up at him, slightly confused.

"Changed?" I asked, shaking my head slightly.

"Mistoffelees?" Old Deuteronomy said, looking up at the tuxedoed tom as he motioned for him to step forward. Mistoffelees stepped towards the pile of trash before bringing a full-length mirror back towards me. I looked up at the old patriarch, and he motioned for me to look in the mirror. I looked over, at the mirror, shuffling away from it as I saw a lithe, orange-ginger queen with brown stripes and large spots on her body, with her left arm a dark brown and lower right leg brown as well. I slowly crawled towards the mirror at the same time the queen in the mirror did. I stood up slowly, looking down at myself, stumbling slightly as I saw my body covered in short fur, the same pattern that the queen—that I—had in the mirror. I looked up at Porthos and Old Deuteronomy, not sure if I looked horrified or surprised.

"How the _hell_ did I get like this?" I said, glaring slightly at them.

"Well, it appears that the Everlasting Cat changed you," Old Deuteronomy said. I glanced over at Porthos, who appeared to be slightly in shock.

"He called you Tanaquil…" Porthos said softly. I looked back down at myself, spinning around a few times.

"I have a tail. I have an effin' tail…" I muttered, sitting down suddenly.

"Of course you do, you're not a Manx," Munkustrap snapped at me. I looked down quickly, feeling my ears flatten against my head.

"I'm sorry, yet I wasn't exactly planning on turning into a cat tonight," I said, looking back up at him. He glared at me, and I quickly looked back down at the ground, hugging my knees to my chest. A pair of arms wrapped around my waist tightly, and I looked over my shoulder, seeing Porthos hugging me tightly and burying his face in my shoulder.

"It appears that at least one of us has accepted you," Old Deuteronomy said. I looked up at him, and then over at Munkustrap.

"He's always known her though, Father. Of course he would accept her," Munkustrap said. Old Deuteronomy put a paw up, and I turned my head slightly, seeing Mistoffelees walking towards me. He held a paw out towards me, and I took it, standing up and pulling away from Porthos.

"My name's Mistoffelees. It's a pleasure to meet you, Tanaquil," he said softly, kissing my hand—paw—softly. I smiled softly, and looked down, blushing slightly.

"The pleasure's all mine, I'm sure," I replied softly.

"Munkustrap, please get Tanaquil settled into a place to stay here. She'll need help getting used to this new life, and I have a feeling that this is a permanent change. I must retire to contemplate what has happened tonight," Old Deuteronomy said serenely. I quickly took my hand—no, paw—back from Mistoffelees, and I looked up at Munkustrap as Old Deuteronomy started walking away from the clearing. Munkustrap looked down at me from his place on the tire, thinly veiling a loathing glare.

"Jemima, Victoria, do you have enough room for one more in your den?" Munkustrap said, not looking away from me. I glanced down after a moment, unable to keep eye contact with his cold eyes.

"I'm sure we could," a snow-white queen, Victoria, said, after glancing at Jemima. I looked over at her, and she smiled slightly at me, nodding. Jemima nodded, yet she looked slightly more distrustful at me.

"That should be all for tonight then. We'll discuss this more after we've all slept," Munkustrap said. "We'll also need to find a way to help her get used to this life tomorrow morning as well."

"I have a few ideas…" A maned cat said, obviously the Rum Tum Tugger. I quickly shook my head and took a small step away from him. I did not want to do whatever he had in mind, no matter how nice of a body he had, and such an amazing voice, and that wonderful almost-biker look going for him…No, Amélie! No fantasizing about Tugger. Mistoffelees, yes, Tugger, no.

"We don't want her terrified, Tugger. Not until we figure out why this happened," Munkustrap said, somewhat sternly.

"I wasn't going in that direction for once, Straps. I was just going to offer taking her on a walk around the junkyard," Tugger replied, rolling his eyes.

"Of course you were," a golden queen, most likely Demeter, I figured, said as she rolled her eyes.

"We'll discuss this in the morning," Munkustrap said firmly, before turning and starting to walk away.

"It is morning though! The sun's already starting to rise," Tumble—at least, I think it was Tumblebrutus, rather than Pouncival—said. I could never keep those two straight. Munkustrap sighed and turned back to the Jellicles.

"Fine. We'll discuss this more after we've had some sleep then," Munkustrap said, sighing slightly. The Jellicles nodded and Porthos stood up next to me, subtly pushing Mistoffelees farther away from me.

"Can I talk to you before you go with Tori and Emi?" he asked me softly and I shook my head once. I had a pretty good idea as to what he would probably be asking me about, and I didn't need it right now. Maybe after I've had some decent sleep, yes, yet not now. I turned to walk over to Victoria and Jemima, yet I felt a paw on my shoulder, stopping me.

"I really like you, Quil. As more than a friend," he said quickly. I heard a faint "aww" from behind me, and I shot a brief glare at Victoria before looking back at Porthos.

"Not now, Porthos. Later, please," I replied, pulling away from him. I walked over to Victoria and Jemima.

"We live in this direction," Jemima said softly. I nodded slightly and started following her to her den.

"Shouldn't she say something back to him?" Victoria asked Jemima softly, walking alongside her as I trailed behind them a few feet away.

"She already told him that she would talk to him later," Jemima replied. I acted as though I couldn't hear them, which wasn't very hard. I was more preoccupied with trying to figure out how to control the incessant flicking of my tail. As much as I had always wanted to meet the Jellicles, I had never really wanted to be one. Yet here I was, a new Jellicle, named by the Everlasting Cat herself, or at least I hoped so. I still didn't know if the vengeful Bast was real or something simply created by fanfiction authors. I hoped that if she was real, I hadn't made her mad.

"And this is our den, Tan," Jemima said, glancing back at me before slipping into a small door leading into a den. I nodded, following her into the den.

"You can sleep there, Tana," Victoria said, motioning towards a small bed in the corner. I nodded slightly and sat down on it slowly, bringing my knees up to my chest. They walked over to their beds and laid down, appearing to fall asleep in their Jellicle forms. I turned towards the wall of the den, curling up tightly and closing my eyes, trying to get to sleep. Despite being incredibly tired, I simply couldn't fall asleep. I looked down at my body, running a han—paw—over my short, soft fur on my body, and then through my headfur, gently feeling the tips of my ears.

"Tana, are you alright?" I heard Victoria ask from behind me. I stiffened slightly, not expecting her to have been awake.

"I'm not sure," I replied softly, shrugging slightly as I wrapped my arms around my waist. I felt her nuzzle me softly, and I turned to look at her.

"What happened?" she asked me softly. I looked down at my feet and touched the necklace that Jonathan had given me, or, rather, tried to. It wasn't around my neck any more.

"I lost my necklace. I lost my chance to date the first guy that had been nice to me. I told him I would meet him today, yet I obviously can't anymore," I said softly, glancing back at her before returning my attention to the flat wall.

"I'm sorry, Tana. That must be hard on you," Victoria said softly, rubbing a paw on my shoulder softly.

"Wha's awful?" Jemima asked groggily.

"Starting to date someone and then being forced not to see them again," Victoria said.

"Oh. Well, just so long as Tanaquil keeps her mitts off of Alonzo, I don't really care," Jemima said before laying back down. I winced slightly as she said that, curling up tighter. Victoria sighed.

"Sorry about Jem, Tana. She's possessive over Alonzo, and especially when she's exhausted," Victoria said. I closed my eyes, still not liking the tone Jemima had talked to me in.

"I think I'm going to get some sleep, Victoria," I said softly. She nodded and walked back to her own bed.

"Night, Tana."

"Night, Vic…"


	10. Chapter 10

I didn't get any sleep that day. Well, maybe a few minutes here and there, yet I was mostly just trying to control the annoying flicking of my tail. I managed to get it a few hours into the day, yet barely. It turned out, I was just thinking too hard about it.

"We'd better get to the clearing, Tana," Victoria said softly as she touched my shoulder. I looked up at her, slightly curious. "Munk wants to see you. I'm not exactly sure why." I nodded slightly, standing up and making sure I was balanced on my feet before starting to walk out to the clearing.

"Ah, there you are, Tanaquil," Munkustrap said, smiling even though it didn't seem to translate to his eyes. I nodded slightly and looked around at the few cats watching me, all warily. I mentally ticked their names off—Jennyanydots, Jellylorum, Demeter and, surprisingly, Tugger—before looking back at Munkustrap, slightly surprised that Alonzo wasn't here. "How did you sleep, Tanaquil?" he asked me.

"I didn't," I said, my voice coming out softly as I flicked my eyes back to the ground under his stern gaze and cleared my throat slightly.

"Why not? You were up all night and you still didn't get any sleep?" Jellylorum asked me.

"Couldn't sleep, what with trying to get used to being furry and having a tail," I said, honestly trying not to snap at her, yet I had a feeling that it didn't work very well.

"Tanaquil, Jelly was only asking a question," Munkustrap said. I ducked my head down, only mildly ashamed.

"Sorry…didn't mean to," I whispered. "I'll try harder to not snap…"

"Thank you. Now, how much of the Junkyard do you know?" he asked me. I glanced around before shrugging slightly.

"I don't know much. Only from here to the gate, and here to Jemima and Victoria's den," I said. Munkustrap nodded slowly.

"I'll show her around, Munk," a small, black and white tom said as he peaked out over the TSE1.

"Listening in to yet another meeting? I thought I told you not to, Quax," Munkustrap said as he looked towards him.

"I'm not the only one this time!" Quaxo said, pointing up at the rocking chair where Tumblebrutus—maybe—was sitting. The Twins also looked out from the pipe. I shook my head, wondering why Quaxo and the Twins would be in places opposite of where they usually were for the musical.

"I would have expected more from you, especially you, twins!" Jennyanydots said as she shook her head slightly. I hid a small grin and glanced up at Munkustrap.

"Quaxo will show you around then, Tanaquil. And I'm sure you'll get used to this life sooner or later, so quit complaining about it," he said. I winced slightly at his harsh tone, again, before walking over to Quaxo. Quaxo smiled slightly, and motioned for me to follow him as he started running off. Smiling myself, I picked up my pace, running after him through the small alleyways created by the piles of trash.

"Don't fall behind, Tanie!" he called over his shoulder as he continued running. I picked up my pace slightly as I tried to catch up to him.

"Where are we?" I called back to him, realizing that I had no utter clue as to where I was. He laughed before slowing down to a walk. I slowed down and walked next to him, wondering where he had taken me.

"The kits' clearing. It's smaller, yet it's also pretty well hidden, so we usually hang out here until the adults truly accept us as adults. So, even though you're not a kit, I figure I can take you here, since no one seems to trust you much," he said as we walked into a small clearing. I nodded, seeing various kits rolling around as they were wrestling or simply talking to their friends.

"It seems nice. Yet, Quaxo, why'd you call me Tanie earlier? No one else calls me that," I said. He looked sheepishly back at me, glancing down at the ground before looking back up at me.

"Well, my brother calls you that whenever he talks about you. I just picked it up. Do you not like it?" he asked me.

"No, it's fine yet I was just wondering," I said.

"Okay then," Quaxo replied as he smiled broadly. I smiled back at him before watching the kits again.

"He was really talking about me?" I asked after a moment.

"He's not been talking about much else since you got changed. Tanie this, Tanie that…I'm surprised he hasn't come to talk to you yet," he replied. I smiled softly to myself, before seeing three cats—Pouncival, Tumblebrutus and Plato—saunter up to us.

"Hey there, Duck. Why're you with the human?" Pouncival asked as he stopped in front of us.

"I didn't think you liked humans," Tumble said. I looked down slightly, my ears flat against my head. Why would Quaxo not like humans? He liked me fine enough, and now they just had to remind me that I was a stupid cat.

"Tanie, this is Tumble," he pointed to the first speaker, "and Pouncival, Tumble's little brother," he pointed to the second speaker. I nodded, realizing that I had them switched the whole time. "And she's not human, obviously. How could she be a human? There's no way for her to have switched species," he told the two.

"Remember that human that was watching the Ball?" a voice asked from behind us. Quaxo tensed, not turning to face the speaker.

"What's that intruder have to do with Tanie, Plato?" Quaxo asked, his hands tightening into fists. I winced as he called me an intruder, and with that harsh of a tone, even if he didn't know it was me.

"That intruder's precious Tanie," Plato said, Quaxo's endearing nickname for me sounding suddenly insolent. "Bast probably turned her into a Jellicle so that Macavity can punish her for intruding upon our Ball." I looked harder at the ground, wincing slightly as he basically wished Macavity on me.

"Tanie, is that true?" Quaxo asked me softly.

"Maybe. I'm not sure about the whole 'Bast wants to punish me' part, yet I was a human when I came to the ball, and I'm a cat now," I replied softly, looking up at Quaxo sadly. He stared at me at shock for a moment, before running away. I turned, and glared at Plato. He smiled an unctuous smile as he looked back at me.

"You really shouldn't be here. I don't even know why Munk goes through the motions when everyone knows that he'll just kick you out when you do something stupid," Plato said.

"That was uncalled for, Plato. It's been decided that I'm staying for a while, and it looks like I'm not turning back into a human. You didn't need to tell Quaxo I was a human," I said.

"He deserves to know the truth, rather than some fabricated lie, Tanie. Don't tell me that you enjoy telling lies," Plato replied. I hissed softly.

"Neglecting to mention something that only hurts is something I prefer to having that pain out in the open," I said before stalking off, deciding to try and make my way back to the clearing to look for Quaxo.

Needless to say, it didn't work very well. Within five minutes, and five turns, I was hopelessly lost.

"Tanie? Why are you over here? Why aren't you with Quax?" a voice asked from beside me. I turned and saw the sparkly form of Mistoffelees.

"Hi Misto," I said sadly. "Quaxo ran off, and I tried to find him. It didn't work very well." He looked at me, nodding slightly.

"He found out about you being human?" he asked me. I nodded slowly before looking down. He looked at me concernedly before pulling me into a hug.

"Why doesn't he like me now?" I asked softly as I hugged Misto back.

"That's for him to tell you…Now, is there anything else wrong?" Mistoffelees asked me. "You've not been acting much like yourself…"

"And how would you know what I normally act like?" I asked him. He smirked slightly, his eyes glittering impishly and I thought back briefly to the last day before the Ball. "You were the black cat that was following me everywhere…" I said after a minute. He nodded and I shook my head slightly. "Stalker…" I muttered under my breath teasingly.

"Oh, you like me and you know it. No one can resist the charms of the Magical Mr. Mistofflees," he said, conjuring up a red rose as he said it. "Here's a rose, for you." I smiled softly, taking the rose from him and smelling its clean scent.

"Thank you, Mistoffelees," I said softly.

"You're welcome. Now, do you mind telling me if there's anything else wrong?" he asked. I shighed and shrugged.

"First I met an old friend, and I got pretty close to him in the day and a half before the ball. Then, I get turned into a Jellicle. Of course, Munk, Lonz and pretty much everyone else doesn't trust me, and now even your brother hates me. My life sucks right now, Misto," I said as I sat on the ground at Misto's feet. He sighed slightly and sat down next to me.

"What about Antha and Porthos and Victoria, and even me?" he asked as he wrapped an arm around me.

"Antha's never really liked me, and Porthos likes me too much. Not to mention I think Victoria just feels sorry for me," I said, pulling my legs up to my chest and leaning my head on his shoulder.

"What about me?" he asked softly.

"I don't know. You tell me," I replied.

"I hope I can be your friend," he said. I looked up at him, smiling.

"That would be nice…" I said.


	11. Chapter 11

I peeked over a small pile of trash, watching Alonzo. Yes, this was probably classified as stalking like a major creeper, yet I didn't particularly want to ask someone how to go to the bathroom as a cat, and the queens kept asking me why I followed them whenever they saw me following them. It was embarrassing that I didn't know how to perform a basic necessity of life, and I didn't particularly want to ask anyone considering I had a feeling that no one liked me much anyways. So, here I was, stalking Alonzo like some obsessive creeper. My life had sunk to a new low.

I watched him from behind a pile of trash, before deciding that I had enough of watching him. I stood up straighter and turned to walk away before I heard a voice, and I flinched.

"Tanaquil?" I heard Alonzo say from behind me. I closed my eyes tightly, and froze, not moving a muscle. "What are you doing, Tanaquil?"

"Hoping you won't see me…" I replied softly, still not moving. He sighed and poked me.

"Tanaquil, your tail's twitching," he said.

"Dammit…" I muttered as I opened my eyes and looked down at my tail, which was, in fact, twitching slightly.

"Yeah. Tan, you might as well just tell me why you decided to watch me behind a pile of trash," he said. I looked at him, catching what he called me.

"Why'd you call me Tan?" I asked him. He shrugged slightly as he looked over my shoulder, not looking at my face.

"It's shorter than saying your whole name. Now, can you tell why you were watching me?" he asked again. I looked down at the ground, blushing slightly before summoning the courage to tell him.

"I don't exactly know how to use the bathroom as a cat so I was following you around because you never noticed me…" I muttered softly. Alonzo looked at me, looking shocked, before grabbing my arm roughly and leading me off in the direction of Jemima and Victoria's den.

"You two!" Alonzo said sharply as he pushed me into the den. Jemima and Victoria, who had been quietly chatting, looked up sharply. "Teach her how to live as a cat! Honestly, I can't believe you two!" He pushed me farther into the den, and stalked out.

"I thought I told you to keep your paws off of him. He's the only tom who doesn't care that I'm the Protector's daughter," Jemima snapped at me, glaring. She stood in front of me, obviously fuming, before she ran out after Alonzo.

"Sorry, Tanaquil," she said softly, sighing, before running out after Jemima. I sighed as I looked around the now-empty den, realizing that I still had no idea how to function as a cat still, and I was getting hungry. I hadn't eaten anything since just before the Ball, and, now that I thought about, wondered why I hadn't felt it earlier. I turned around, deciding to see if someone could possibly help me out.

"Tanaquil," I heard Antha call from behind me. I turned around, smiling as I saw a true familiar face for one of the first times I had been a cat.

"Hi, Antha," I said, hugging her as she walked up to me. She smiled and hugged me back.

"How are you, Tana? I've not had a chance to talk to you since the Ball," she said. I shrugged slightly, taking a deep breath.

"Not good. I'm hungry, and tired. I need to go to the bathroom, and no one likes me," I said, quite annoyed. Antha looked down at me, slightly shocked.

"Have they even taught you how to switch between forms?" Antha asked me. I shook my head.

"No. They haven't taught me, told me, shown me anything to do with how to live as a cat," I replied. "I'm utterly clueless, and I would really appreciate some scrap of food to eat." I made a face as I heard how whiney I sounded, and looked down. "Sorry…I've just not had anything since before the Ball…"

"Hush, Amé…you'll be fine. I'll get you something to eat," Antha said softly, pulling away from me and starting to walk away. I nodded slightly and started following close behind as she led me out of the junkyard.

"Thanks, Antha," I said softly. She nodded and turned towards me after she stopped outside the junkyard gate.

"You're welcome, Am. Now, do you remember how normal cats look like?" she asked me. I nodded slightly, rolling my eyes. Of course I remembered normal cats! "I'm just wanting to make sure, Am…Anyways, just imagine yourself like that. It's pretty simple." I nodded slightly, closing my eyes and imagining myself as a cat, slightly skeptical as to if it would work or not. Feeling a moment's discomfort, I opened my eyes to a much larger world, and the familiar figure of Antha standing in front of me.

"It worked…" I said softly, looking down at me.

"Yes, but you need to go down on all fours, Am," Antha said, smiling slightly. I looked down, dropping to all fours, and quickly padding over to her.

"Why can't we just stay in the other form? Humans just see us like normal cats," I said. She glanced over at me before sighing slightly.

"Yes, humans only see us as cats, yet it's just more convenient to actually be what they think we are. That we don't seem too strange," Antha replied. I nodded slightly, figuring that to be a simple response.

"Makes sense. Now what?" I asked her.

"There's a fish market down the way that usually gives me some fish. I figure they might be willing to give me and my friend some," she replied as she started walking. I nodded, my mind drifting about how I hated fish, before noticing her turning down a side street. Quickly, I ran after her, determined not to end up left behind in London.

A few minutes later, I had caught up to her, and she smiled back at me.

"I was wondering when you would be back," she said. I stuck my tongue out at her, closely following behind her. We continued walking down the street, before she turned onto a busier road. I shifted so that I was walking closer to her, my ears flat as we navigated through the humans.

"Why couldn't we have continued down the side road?" I asked her softly, not enjoying the crowd of humans.

"Hush, Tana, you'll be fine," she said, nudging me encouragingly as we continued walking. "This is the only way I know how to get there."

"I know…just, it's a lot to take in…" I said softly, looking over at her.

"Like what?" she asked, glancing back at me and looking slightly confused. I sighed, looking away slightly as I tried to pin down what exactly it was.

"Well, the sounds…and the smells, and the overall crowdedness," I said softly. She nodded, and we continued our pilgrimage to the fish market.

"It's not far. We'll go there, and then go straight back home," she said. I nodded again, and she soon led me off the crowded street and down to the fish market. "Also, Tana, you might find some toms fawning over you when we get back."

"What do you mean? What tom would honestly fawn over me of all people?" I asked her, slightly confused.

"Am, I think you might find that you're quite pretty, if you would get over that pathetic self-image you had when you were human. Not to mention, you're new. Tugger's getting bored with the cats at the junkyard, or at least that's the rumor, and so he'll start wooing you," Antha said as she led me to a stand and sat down in front of it. She mewed up at the man, who smiled down at her, and carefully set a plate of fish down onto the ground.

"Tugger?" I said, slightly stunned. Antha nodded before walking up to the fish and taking a small bite out of it.

"Am, you might want to eat something while it's still here," Antha said.

"Yet why would he be paying any attention to me?" I asked, not paying much attention to Antha as I sat down next to her.

"Like I said, you're pretty, Tana. And about the being clueless about everything, well…the toms think it's cute," Antha said.

"I'm not pretty…just look at Victoria…" I said softly. Antha laughed.

"Victoria might be graceful, yet she's quite boring to look at," she replied. "Now eat, Amélie," she said. I nodded before looking down at the fish.

"What if I don't want to?" I asked after a minute. Antha smirked slightly as she looked up at me.

"How long has it been since you last ate?" she asked me. I looked down, my grumbling stomach answered for me. "Just take a bite of it." I nodded slightly and took a bite of the fish.

"Great! Now there's two of them!" a man said, sounding exasperated. I jumped slightly, not expecting someone to have come up behind me.

"Now, now, Peron, it's only two. It's not like they're breeding," another said. There was a sigh, and I turned back to the fish, deciding to tune the meaningless conversation.

"I really don't like fish…" I muttered under my breath as I took another bite.

"I could have given you a mouse first," Antha replied dryly. I grimaced before nodding and returning to the fish.

"Moind if Oi 'ave some of dat fish?" a voice, with a strong cockney accent, asked. Antha and I looked over, and Antha raised an eyebrow slightly.

"Who are you?" Antha asked him suspiciously.

"Mungojerrie?" I guessed, wondering why he would be here. I was pretty sure we weren't close to Victoria Grove or the Junkyard.

"'Ow do yah know me name?" he asked me after a moment of staring at me. I paused a moment, trying to come up with an adequate response, other than the truth.

"Lucky guess?" I said, not believing for a moment that he would believe me.

"She was a human, and there was that musical about the Jellicles," Antha said, rolling her eyes as she caught Mungojerrie's disbelieving look.

"Please don' tell me yah fink me an' Teazah ah siblin's," he said, rolling his eyes. I looked down slightly, my ears drooping slightly.

"Most of the time I do…" I replied softly. He hissed softly, obviously annoyed.

"Stupi' play…" he muttered.

"You guys look nearly the same though!" I said, getting defensive on the subject.

"No…Teazah's go' more whoite on 'er," Mungojerrie said, shaking his head slightly.

"You still look just like each other," I muttered, looking away slightly.

"Moin' if Oi 'ave some of de fish?" Mungo asked Antha, choosing to ignore me. Antha nodded and he took about half the fish as he walked away.

"He's a bit sensitive about that…most cats end up accusing him of incest…" Antha said softly. I nodded slightly and went back to eating.

Once the bones were picked clean, Antha started leading me back to the junkyard, stopping outside the gate to have us return to our Jellicle forms. It didn't take long for me to, luckily. I stretched slightly, enjoying being back in the comfortable humanoid form.

"Your tail's not twitching around as much," Antha commented as she looked over at me. I shrugged slightly, looking down at it.

"I guess I've finally gotten sorta used to it," I replied. She smiled before hugging me.

"Thank you, by the way," she said softly.

"What do you have to thank me for? I should be the one thanking you," I replied, slightly shocked, before hugging her back.

"You got me here. Not to mention we can be proper friends now," Antha replied, smiling slightly. I smiled back and nodded.

"Do you know where Porthos is? I would have thought that he would have been all over me now…" I said, just realizing that I hadn't seen him since the Ball. She sighed, and looked down.

"No. I've not seen him at all since the Ball. He went to talk to you, and I never saw him after that," she replied. "Munk's not bothered to look for him, now that you've caught the spotlight."

"I'm sorry, Antha. I didn't mean for this to happen! I don't want him to get hurt, or lost, or something," I said, hugging her tighter.

"It's alright, Tana. Don't get your tail in a twist. He'll wander back eventually," Antha said, pulling away slightly. I nodded and we walked into the Junkyard. A dark brown Abyssinian (don't ask me how I knew what breed she was) walked up to us, looking like Cassandra or even Exotica.

"Hello, Cassandra," Antha said, turning towards her with her voice sounding slightly tight. "How are you?"

"I'm quite fine, thank you. Bomba was wondering if you could help her with something," Cassandra replied.

"Alright then. I'll see you later, Tana," Antha said, grimacing slightly before she walked away with Cassandra. I sighed as I stood there, debating where to go from here.

"Hey there babe," a smooth voice said from behind me. I groaned inwardly as I heard the voice, hoping it wasn't the notorious flirt himself. Steeling myself, I turned around and saw the Maine Coon in all his cocky, flirty glory. "I didn't get a chance to introduce myself earlier. I'm the Rum Tum Tugger, Tugger for you," he said, winking. As much as I want to say I didn't inwardly swoon as he introduced himself smoothly, it would be a lie if I did.

"It's certainly nice to meet you, Tugger," I said, taking a step back to try and get out of this conversation sooner rather than later.

"What's wrong? You almost look like you don't want to talk to me," he said, taking a step closer to me. A small squeak escaped my lips, something quite uncharacteristic of me. I quickly took another step back from him, running into a junk pile. He smirked slightly and took another step towards me.

"No, actually I don't really think I want to be around you at all," I said before sidestepping and ducking under his arm as I quickly ran away from him. I sat down a minute or so later, taking a deep breath.

"You don't seem to have responded very well to Tugger's advances," a cool voice said from above me. I looked up, half-expecting Macavity, yet surprised to see a tom that I didn't recognize at all.

"Who're you?" I asked, slightly curious as to who he was.

"Ademetus, the Nobody," he said, jumping down to stand next to me. I looked up at him, slightly guarded, considering I knew next to nothing about him.

"I've heard some about you. Not much though," I said slowly. He looked mildly surprised as he leaned against a pile.

"Really? Interesting," he said as he stood up straighter and started walking away.

"What do you know about the Great Rumpus Cat?" I asked him. He paused, mid-step, yet he didn't look back at me.

"Cats are out for you, Tanaquil. If I were you, I'd simply keep my head down and try to attract as little attention as possible. The GRC might not be around to help you," he said before continuing on his way. I stood there, slightly in shock considering I didn't know if he had just threatened me or not.


	12. Chapter 12

"What did you say or do to Ad?" Mistoffelees asked me a few minutes later. I paused for a moment before answering, still needing to collect my thoughts.

"Didn't think I had said anything wrong. Just asked him a question," I replied softly as I looked over at him. He closed his eyes, sighing deeply and leaning his head back.

"Please tell me you didn't ask him about the GRC," Mistoffelees asked me. I looked down, nodding slightly.

"I didn't know it would have made him mad," I said softly. I glanced up at him momentarily, wondering what his reaction would be, and just why it was so bad.

"He doesn't like the GRC. It's a touchy subject around him. The GRC didn't help him when he was attacked by a couple a pollicles a year or so back, despite helping several dozen in the coming weeks after his attack. He felt like he wasn't worth anything," Mistoffelees replied. "He refuses to talk about him." He looked over at me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as he smiled comfortingly. "You didn't know. It's alright. He'll forgive you eventually." I nodded slightly, before remembering something slightly important.

"Misto, have you seen Porthos at all? Antha and I haven't seen him at all since the Ball," I said. Misto shook his head.

"I had almost forgotten about him…no, I've not seen him at all. I don't think anyone's seen him since then," Misto replied. I pulled away from him, standing up.

"I'm going to look for him, Misto. I'll see you later," I told him as I started making my way out of the Junkyard. I figured that if no one had seen him inthe Junkyard, he had to be outof the Junkyard.

As to where he was, I had no idea.

I figured to play it safe, and go to the hotel. I'd be able to hide there for a while and figure out where to go next, at the very least. Knowing my luck, he wouldn't be there. I ignored that for a while as I walked to the hotel, trying not to get too worried about him.

"Porthos?" I called as I slipped into the room from the outside. Thank gods, I had the sense not to lock it before the Ball.

"It took you long enough. When'd you finally realize that I wasn't around at all?" I heard Porthos say bitterly. I looked to the side, and sighed as I saw him sitting behind the armchair in the corner. I quickly moved it out of the way enough for me to sit down next to him, leaning against the wall.

"I noticed you weren't around the day after I got changed," I said, deciding it would be better to lie than tell him that I didn't realize he was gone until this afternoon. Porthos looked away from me, still looking slightly angry.

"Quil, you left me without a response. I basically told you that I loved you, and you left me without a response! And then the next day, you didn't even talk to me!" Porthos said, unable to restrain the anger he obviously felt. I looked down, feeling slightly guilty and ashamed.

"I never saw you to talk to you…and I gave you an answer…" I whispered, hoping I wouldn't just make him even incensed.

"'Go away, Porthos!'" he said, standing up and looking down at me, even more furious. "That's your answer? 'Go away, Porthos?'" I flinched slightly at his harsh tone, my ears flat against my head.

"You couldn't have given me even an hour to at least somewhat try to figure out what the hell happened to me? You asked me not even ten minutes after I got changed into a flippin' cat! Honestly, Porthos, I didn't even really know what I was, let alone whether or not I even somewhat liked someone," I said. Porthos sighed heavily as he sat down next to me.

"You could have said something nicer at the very least. Not to mention, you could have gone and looked for me, rather than going off and draping yourself on that stupid conjurer," Porthos said, still slightly bitter.

"That conjurer? Why does it matter that I hang out with Mistoffelees?" I asked him, looking slightly confused at him.

"It's obvious that he only wants to mate with you!" Porthos replied, his anger starting to color his words slightly. I stood up quickly, looking down at him.

"Then what do you want me as, Porthos?" I asked him. "If Misto just wants to mate with me, then what do you want with me?"

"I—I just want you as my queenfriend…" he said, deflating slightly and looking down. "Nothing much more…not yet…" I sighed deeply as I turned around and took a couple of steps away from him.

"You don't get it, do you, Porthos?" I whispered softly. "You'll always just be my friend's pet cat to me. Nothing much more than that. A friend, of course, yet not anything more than that." I turned around, and he stood up, obviously heartbroken, as he reached out to touch me. He pulled his paw away, shaking his head as his gaze hardened and he walked out of the room, not looking back at me.

"I hate you, Amélie," he muttered as he walked out. I stood there, slightly shocked at his reaction. He wanted an answer, and I gave him one. An honest one too.

"Bravo, bravo," a tall, ginger cat said as he waltzed through the opened glass door into the room. I looked up at him sharply, taking an involuntary step back.

"Macavity," I hissed softly. A cruel smile twisted his features as he nodded slowly.

"It's nice to finally officially meet you, Tanaquil. I've been waiting since the Ball to meet the human who was allowed to watch our festivities," he said as he lounged casually in the armchair in front of me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him slowly, eyeing him warily as I kept still behind him.

"You, Tanaquil. I'm simply here to see you, talk to you some. That's all. Now, if you would kindly sit on the bed, I would greatly appreciate it. I'm not too fond of cats standing behind me," he replied. Still eyeing him warily, I walked slowly around to his front and sat down on the bed.

"I meant, more so, why are you acting so civil towards me?" I said.

"Why shouldn't I? I've got nothing against you," he said. I looked at his hard, yellow eyes, studying him carefully for some sign of trickery before deciding to answer.

"I wouldn't know. I just figured that you wouldn't be all that civil, what with you being called the Monster of Depravity and all," I said. His eyes hardened even more as he glared at me.

"The name for myself is the Napoleon of Crime. The Jellicles are the only ones who call me the Monster of Depravity," he said harshly. I nodded quickly, looking down at the ground. "You should feel honored, at any rate. I don't normally introduce myself personally to most cats. Then again, you're not exactly normal, are you?"

"That depends on what you define as 'normal,'" I replied. A hint of a smirk played at his lips as he stood up.

"I like you, Tanaquil. Just so you know, I'll be seeing you often," he said. I nodded weakly, not seeing any way around it. He smiled, and left the room. I took a few shuddering breaths, trying to get over the shock of realizing that, somehow, someway, I had attracted Macavity's attention. Without a second thought, I ran back to the Junkyard, the only safe place I knew.

"Tana?" Antha said, stopping me as I ran into the clearing; I hadn't stopped running since I left the hotel. "What's wrong, Tana?" she asked when I didn't answer.

"Ma—Macavity," I said, still slightly breathless. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down my quickly-beating heart. "He said he wanted to talk, and that he would be seeing me often," I said. Munkustrap stood up quickly and looked back at that direction I had come from.

"Where was this exchange?" he asked me.

"A hotel, about a ten minute walk from here. I went there looking for Porthos," I replied.

"Di—did you find him?" Antha asked me softly. I nodded slightly as I looked back at her.

"I found him. He ended up running away from me before I could tell him much," I replied, figuring it was close enough to the truth that I didn't have to feel bad about lying to her. I looked down slightly, hoping she wouldn't prod further.

"He ran away? Didn't you follow him?" she asked me. I shook my head.

"Couldn't. He ran away, and then Macavity walked in after a minute. I hadn't recovered from the shock of him running away from me by the time Mac waltzed in," I replied softly. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright, Tana. Don't beat yourself up about it," Antha replied, sounding quite disheartened, before walking away. I looked up, and over at Munkustrap.

"What should I do now?" I asked him softly. He looked over at me, with an almost calculating look on his face. It actually reminded me a bit of Macavity.

"There's nothing you can do, Tanaquil. My brother, unfortunately, will stop at nothing to make sure that he gets to you. I might be able to have Alonzo tail you, just to make sure Macavity stops with you, rather than moving onto the whole tribe," he replied.

"I didn't want this, Munkustrap! Can't you do anything to stop him?" I asked, utter despair coloring my words. Munkustrap's expression softened slightly as he sighed.

"You really didn't want to be a cat…" he said. I nodded feebly and he sighed again.

"Munk, I'm only 17. I can barely make my own decisions, let alone live on my own. Why would I want to just make my life worse than it already was by having to learn to be something completely different than a human?" I asked him. "All I wanted was to meet the Jellicles, just to see if they were real." Munkustrap sighed again.

"Jemima was looking for you, Tanaquil," he said after a moment. "She should be in her den." I nodded, and walked to her den, wondering what on earth she could be wanting me for.

"You," Jemima said as I walked in, standing up as she glared fiercely.

"What did I do?" I asked her, stopping as I held my paws up defensivly.

"Alonzo broke up with me! Said he was interested in someone else! You're the only new cat around, so you have to be it!" Jemima said, sitting back down. I shook my head slowly, yet stopped as I saw her red eyes.

"Have you been crying?" I asked her, just slightly surprised. I sat down next to her, not quite sure how to comfort her. Yes, I might be a girl as well, yet I never really had to deal with this sort of thing.

"Of course I have, you idiot! I've been trying to get Alonzo to notice me since I could start dating!" she said as she started crying into my shoulder. I stiffened slightly before relaxing slightly and patting her gently on the back.

"He wasn't the right tom for you then," I said, casting around wildly in my head for some sort of BS I could tell her to get her to stop crying on me. "What about some other tom?"

"What other tom wouldn't care about me being the Protector's daughter," Jemima said as she started crying, if possible, louder.

"Well, what about someone who's just as special as you? What about…" I cast about wildly for some tom that might be able to work with Jemima. Finally I settled on Straps' favorite pairing. "What about Cori?"

"Cori?"

"Yeah…Cori seems to be a nice tom," I said slowly, hoping that she wouldn't laugh in my face.

"You know, I've never actually thought about him like that. He is nice," Jemima said as she started quieting down slightly. "And Tana, I'm sorry I was so mean to you…"

"It's alright, Jemima. I'm fine with it. It doesn't matter much," I replied as I shrugged her off of my shoulder. I looked down, sighing slightly.

"What's wrong?" Jemima asked me. I shrugged again as I motioned down towards my body.

"I'm not supposed to be a cat," I said softly. "I'm not supposed to be furry with a tail and everything." Jemima looked slightly surprised at what I said.

"You can't possibly be saying that you'd rather be a human than a cat!" she said. I shrugged slightly.

"I'd rather have friends and someone who likes me. And if it means that I have to be human for it, then so be it. I'd like to at least know how to live like a cat if I'm stuck like this," I told her. She nodded slightly.

"How don't you know how to live though?" she asked me.

"No one's bothered to tell me the basics, like what to eat or how to go to the bathroom," I replied softly.

"No one's told you that?" Jemima asked, simply horrified at that point. "What have you been doing?"

"Sneaking into humans' places…" I muttered softly, blushing slightly. "At night, when everyone else is asleep."

"That's just humiliating. Come on, I'll help you out. Not to mention, I'll keep it strictly between us. Promise," Jemima said, leading me out of the den.

"Thank you, Jem," I said as I followed behind her, glad someone was being nice to me

"So, I hear that you rejected Tugger's advances," a scarlet queen said as I walked into the clearing. I nodded slightly as I looked back at her.

"Yes…didn't really like how he acted," I said slowly. She rolled her eyes.

"Just stay away from my mate, kit," she said. I took a small step back from her, mildly confused about that.

"I plan to, considering I've already rejected his advances," I told her. "Besides, what makes me so different than some other cat?"

"I don't want some upstart human who thinks she's a cat—"

"I am technically a cat though," I muttered, looking away as I glared at the ground.

"—and who's barely out of kithood to steal my mate," she said before stalking off. I glared at the back of her head as she walked away, before sitting down against a refrigerator, pulling my knees close to my chest.

"That's now three to six cats who seem to hate you now," Alonzo said as he strode up to me. I looked up at him, slightly surprised to see him there. "What did you do to Bomba?"

"I didn't do anything. Tugger tried to get me to date him, fall for his charms, or at least have sex with me at sooner rather than later, and Bomba got all defensive from it," I told him. He nodded as he sat down casually next to me.

"Munk wants me to tail you, just to let you know. Just until everything blows over. He figures it'll be best," he said.

"I figured as much. There's no other reason for you to hang around me," I said, nodding slightly. "You probably hate having to do this."

"I don't hate you, Tan. The only ones who truly don't like you are Plato, Ad, Bomba, Quax and possibly Tumble," Alonzo said. I rolled my eyes as I looked away.

"Never said that, besides Munk should be on that list too," I said. Alonzo looked at me curiously, obviously wondering why Munkustrap should be on the list of people who didn't like me. "Haven't you heard the tone he uses with me, or how he looks at me?"

"Why would he want to protect you then? And why's he letting you stay with us? Tan, it makes no sense that he doesn't like you at all," Alonzo said, smiling slightly at the idea of his noble Protector not willing to protect a pathetic queen.

"Old Deuteronomy forced him to have me stay here, or have you forgotten the Ball? And he'll protect me because he doesn't want Macavity to get to the rest of tribe through me," I told him.

"Oh. That makes sense," Alonzo said, looking down, apparently slightly crestfallen that his Protector wasn't all he was shaped up to be. I glanced over at him, wondering why everyone seemed to be so angsty around me. At any rate, he stood up and took my paw in his.

"Well, I don't care if you think no one likes you or not. You're going to make some actual friends. With queens, also" he said as he started leading me to where the queens were.

"You just want to go make out with Cassandra, Lonz. Don't make me talk to them," I said, pulling away slightly.

"Yes, that's true, yet you need some actual friends," Alonzo said as he pushed me towards the queens. I rolled my eyes as they greeted me, before sitting down next them.


	13. Chapter 13

"Well, well, well…look who had a productive day," a voice said from beside me, startling me into consciousness. I opened my eyes, jumping slightly as I looked around frantically, recognizing the voice. Everlasting Cat, I hoped that it wasn't who I thought it was. I inhaled sharply as my eyes fell upon the ginger tom. How I didn't see him, I'll never know, considering he was sitting uncomfortably close to me.

"Wh-why are you here?" I asked him softly, quite annoyed that my voice was shaking slightly. Granted, I had reason enough to sound scared, what with a serial killer sitting less than six inches away from me, yet I hated to sound scared.

"I told you I'd be talking to you," Macavity said as he set his paw on my leg, sliding it to my inner thigh. I quickly pulled away from his touch, standing up about a foot away from him, crossing my arms across my chest tightly.

"How'd you get past Munkustrap?" I asked him sharply as I looked down at him. He laughed softly as he stood up.

"You honestly didn't think he'd really make an effort to protect you, did you?" he asked as he took a few steps toward me. I took a few steps back away from him at the same time, my ears flat against my head as I shook my head.

"No, not really, yet I still would like to know," I said, trying to bide time during which point someone could walk in or Victoria or Jemima could wake up.

"Well, then, I simply walked in," Macavity said simply as he closed the distance between us and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling my body close to his. Whimpering softly, much to my displeasure, I tried pulling away from his tight grip, yet I was still firmly in his grasp. I prayed to whatever gods might be listening that Macavity might not try to take advantage of me.

"Please, please, please, please, please let me go," I said, swallowing my pride as I started begging him to let go of me.

"I don't think so, considering I need to get you all trained up nice and neat-like. Not to mention I've decided to take you to my place for a bit," he said. I closed my eyes tightly so that I didn't have to look into his cruel face any longer. I hoped that this was all just some horrible nightmare, and I would just be able to open my eyes and be comforted by somebody, preferably Mistoffelees. I felt my feet slide from under me, and his bony shoulder dug into my stomach. He started walking, and I opened my eyes to his ginger, matted fur on his back.

"Why me?" I muttered as I propped my head up on my arms to keep it away from his back. It figures that I would be the one who got kitnapped by Macavity, rather than innocent Jemima or something like that.

"Because you're new to life," Macavity replied sharply. "Now shut up or you'll be receiving a nasty shock."

"What if I don—" I was cut off by a painful shock traveling up my legs from where his arms were touching me. A sharp cry of pain slipped from my lips and a second shock followed. My legs continued tingling long after the initial shock of pain passed, and I was close to tears as I started whimpering from the pain softly. Yet again, a shock traveled up my legs as Macavity heard my soft whimperings.

I decided to keep my mouth shut the rest of the trip.

***

A while later, I felt a hard, cold, concrete floor greet my body much too friendly for my tastes. I groaned softly as I got to my paws and knees, trying to decipher up from down and catch my breath.

"Don't misbehave, and I might let you out," Macavity said before a door swung shut with a heavy 'clang'. I blinked hard a couple of times before looking around the dark, musty room, spotting a small, empty window pane by the celling that would probably be just barely large enough for me to slip through. I quickly stood up, almost losing my balance as the blood rushed from my head, and I quickly walked over to the wall, looking up at the small slice of freedom that I could almost taste. I raised my arms, my fingertips grazing the edge of the windowsill, and jumped up, clawing at the ground to try and get out.

"No, no, no, NO!" I said, as I started to slip back down to the floor. "Dammit!" I said, wanting to curse much worse as I landed hard on my tail.

"Quiet, bitch," a bored voice said from outside the door. I turned, recognizing the voice from about a day or so ago.

"Plato?" I guessed, walking towards the door. With a metallic screech, a small window opened up, and Plato's face looked through.

"Tanaquil? You're going to be Macavity's new spy, hit man, something?" he asked me. I shrugged slightly as I looked up at this new slice of hope.

"I don't know. Yet, Plato, please, get me out of here. I don't want to be Macavity's new agent," I said, walking up closer to the door and trying to look at the hall behind him. I pleaded with him for a few more minutes, yet the answer was always the same:

"I can't Tana! I'd be killed if I let you out," he said, his position unchanging no matter what I said.

"Why can't you? Other than you being killed?" I asked him, finally accepting that he wouldn't budge.

"I've got to think of Victoria, Tana. He'll kill her, and probably the rest of my family if I turn on him," Plato replied, sighing slightly. I looked down slightly, understanding the position he was in.

"How do you know the Everlasting Cat won't protect them?" I asked him softly, trying to get him to help me, even if he didn't like me at all. Plato laughed mirthlessly.

"The Everlasting Cat never comes down to Earth, except on the night of the Jellicle Ball. Bast's the one that intercedes more! Just look at what she did to you," he replied, motioning towards me. I winced slightly at the painful reminder before I sat down, wrapping my arms around my knees.

"Then what's the point? What's the point if I'm just going to be miserable all my life? Why don't I just save Macavity the trouble and end my pathetic life?" I asked the air softly, almost contemplating suicide seriously again. I hadn't really in a while, not since before this whole fiasco started with Antha talking to me, yet if the only reason why I was still alive was so that I could still be punished…well, there wasn't any point to go through something in life that I'll go through once I'm dead and stuck in pergatory.

"Well, you might live past her curse," Plato said softly, looking away. I glanced up at him, slightly surprised at his answer, before looking back down at the ground.

"So…what's going to happen to me now?" I asked him softly after a few minutes, needing to break the impenetrable silence.

"Not sure. Depends on whether you behave or not. Probably also on what Macavity feels like," Plato replied, shrugging slightly. He looked back at me, slightly concerned. "You need to groom your fur, Tana," he commented after a brief moment. I looked down at myself, before looking blankly at him. "You're really clueless about everything…like a kit…"

"Or worse," I said softly, nodding slightly. His face softened slightly, and I heard a faint 'click' as the small window shut. Plato walked into the small room a moment later, closing the door behind him. He walked towards me, and involuntarily I moved away from him.

"Let me help you," he said softly as he walked towards me. I shied away from him slightly, not sure if I should trust him or not. "Please, Tana," he added. I looked at him, before nodding slightly and keeping still as he sat down next to me, shifting into his cat form. I shifted as well, closing my eyes slightly as he started to lick my fur gently. "Just like that," he said softly. I looked dubiously at him, yet I started licking my fur down, still slightly unsure of myself.

"Like this?" I asked. He nodded slightly, watching me carefully.

"That's right," he replied. I smiled slightly as I continued grooming myself, glad I was able to do something right for once.

"Thank you, Plato," I said once I had finished grooming myself, with little help from him.

"No thanks needed, Tanaquil," he said as he stood up. I stood up next to him, trying to keep him in here as long as possible.

"When's Macavity going to talk to me?" I asked him, touching his shoulder lightly. He looked down at me, shrugging slightly.

"I'm not sure, Tana. Soon though," Plato replied. "I'll see you later, Tana. Try not to be too loud." I nodded slightly as he walked out of the small room. The door clanged shut behind him, and I sat down in the center of the room, my back to the window, waiting for something, anything, to happen.

***

"Tana…you awake?" Plato asked me as I heard the slot open again, startling me awake. I jumped slightly as I blinked my eyes several times before being able to focus on Plato's face looking at me. I nodded slightly, as I stood up, and Plato quickly closed the slot as he walked in, carrying a large, dead mouse.

"Let me guess, breakfast?" I said, torn between hunger and utter revulsion at the sight of it.

"Yep. I figured you would prefer fish, yet I couldn't find any for you, so mouse it is," Plato said as he sat down next to me.

"Thanks…" I replied, my voice tight. He looked at me, sighing slightly as he heard my tone.

"Just eat it, Tana. If not, I'm going to eat it and you're not going to get anything for a while," Plato said. I nodded slightly as I closed my eyes tightly as I looked down, hunching over slightly, trying to make myself look small. I wasn't very sure I wanted to eat a mouse, even though I was hungry and I was a cat.

"Do I have to eat the mouse?" I asked softly.

"Tanaquil, it's either eating with me, or eating with Macavity, make your choice. And keep in mind that he eats his food alive, and he also plays with it first," Plato said. I shook my head slightly, still keeping my eyes shut tightly, not wanting to have to make that choice at all. Plato sighed as I heard a faint tearing sound before something wet touched my lips. "Open, chew and swallow, Tana," he said. I hesitantly opened my mouth, taking the bite he was offering me, chewed it carefully, and swallowed it.

"Mind reassuring me that that was the mouse?" I said as I looked up at him.

"Yep. It was your first bite of mouse," he said. I nodded slightly as I started slowly eating the rest of the mouse, trying not to think too much about what I was eating.

"I've got to get going, Tana. I think you can manage well enough on your own now, so I'm not too worried," Plato said, standing up. "I won't be around for a while, just to let you know. I've got to get back home. Keep your head down and your lips closed and you'll be fine." I looked up at him, before wrapping my arms around his legs tightly, preventing him from walking at all.

"Don't leave! I don't want to be alone here!" I said, sounding much like a small child. Plato kneeled down slightly as he brushed my cheek softly.

"I have to, Tana. It won't feel like any time at all to you," he said. "Now let go of me, please." I nodded weakly as I let go of him, sadly watching him walk to the door.

"What are you going to do?" I asked him, hoping he would tell the Jellicles where I was.

"I've got to report to Macavity, and head home. I can't tell the Jellicles where you are, Tana…you'll be out soon, though," he said. I nodded sadly as I looked back down at the ground. "Oh, and Tana, I take back that comment about Bast changing you for vengeance. I think that the Everlasting Cat might have brought you to us to make things right. I've not actually had a friend who knew this part of my life before." I looked up at him, slightly shocked that he would say that, before smiling slightly as he left. Unfortunately, the mildly good mood I had disappeared with the metal clang of the door shutting. I took a deep, almost shuddering breath, trying not to cry in despair, and I curled up tightly on the cold floor, closing my eyes.

***

"Psst! Wake up!" I heard a mildly familiar voice say as a pebble or two hit me. I looked up at the door, half-hoping Plato to be back already. "The window!" the voice continued, sounding slightly annoyed. I turned slightly, and saw the Great Rumpus Cat crouched down there. Well, at least if Munkustrap's description was correct, considering he had the eyes like fireballs, and, as he yawned slightly, I noticed just how large his jaws were.

"Now what did I do to deserve a visit from the GRC?" I asked as I stood up, standing below the window as I looked up at him.

"Nothing, in my mind. I'm just doing a favor for a friend," he replied as he looked over his shoulder. As he looked back at me, he reached down for me, and I gave him my paws, jumping as he pulled me up through the glassless window.

"Which friend?" I asked him as I dusted myself off after standing up on the dusty ground.

"Can't tell you that. Promised him I wouldn't say anything. Now, we've got to hurry, we've only got about five minutes before anyone spots us, if we're lucky," he said. I nodded and started to follow him at a quick run through several bushes before ducking through a hole in the fence that made up the perimeter. We continued running down the street for a few blocks before he slowed to a stop. "This is where I leave you," he told me. "I've got other things to do tonight."

"Thank you, though," I said quickly, smiling faintly at him.

"You're welcome. Just follow this street for a while, and then you'll come straight to the Junkyard. Don't stop at all, also," he told me. I nodded and started walking down the road before pausing as I turned to look at him.

"Thanks again, Ademetus," I said, just loud enough for him to hear me. He stiffened slightly, and I turned back down the road and started running for the Junkyard.


	14. Chapter 14

I woke up from the light sleep I had fallen into only an hour before, curled up outside someone's den—I didn't particularly care whose den it was. I stood up, stretching, and looked around for someone.

"Tana's back!" someone shouted. I flinched as I heard it, not expecting anyone to have seen me already. I turned around to see who it was, and jumped back slightly as I saw most of the Jellicles looking at me from the clearing. I edged away, not expecting them to be out so fast, and ran into Alonzo, who pushed me back into the clearing. Jemima ran up to me, quickly hugging me.

"What were you doing? Or, where were you, Tanaquil?" Munkustrap asked. I turned to look at him, scowling slightly as I remembered what Macavity said about him. Pushing Jemima away from me, I took a step towards Munkustrap and glared at him.

"I was shivering in a cell in Macavity's lair," I replied stonily. "Macavity kitnapped me night before last. You didn't do anything to stop him, obviously." There was a small round of gasps from the Jellicles, and they looked between me and Munkustrap. Demeter ran up to me, wrapping her arms around me in what was probably meant to be a comforting gesture. The only way I reacted was by pushing her away as I still glared at Munkustrap.

"How'd you let him get past you?" Demeter asked him. Munkustrap glared back at me, taking a while to answer. The small crowd had grown silent as they watched our exchange.

"I didn't hear your screams," he said slowly. I raised an eyebrow at that answer.

"You would see Macavity if you actually did what you said you would. You promised to keep someone around me in case it happened. Neither you, or Alonzo are hurt, so neither or you got into a fight trying to protect me," I said. "It wouldn't have mattered if I had screamed or not."

"You said you were watching her that night!" Alonzo said from behind me, sounding both hurt and angry that Munkustrap lied.

"He obviously wasn't. Macavity just waltzed into Victoria and Jemima's den, woke me up, and tried getting much to close for comfort to me. He could easily have tried to rape the perfect snow-white queen, or even the Protector's daughter before kitnapping me," I said bluntly, wanting to make as much of a shock as possible. It succeeded, and a loud gasp came from many of the queens in the crowd. Munkustrap glared at me with pure loathing, taking a step towards me.

"Munkustrap!" a commanding voice said from behind me. I turned to see Old Deuteronomy walking up to me.

"Oh…Father….What are you doing here?" Munkustrap asked him, turning away from me. I was surprised to see the slightly-scared look on his face, and I hid a smirk, looking down at the ground.

"I told you to make Tanaquil feel welcome, yet here you are, one of the last to still despise her, not to mention you neglected your duties as Protector. Tanaquil is one of the tribe, Munkustrap. You would do well to remember that," Old Deuteronomy said as he placed a paw protectively on my shoulder. Any trace of a smirk fled from my face as his words sunk in.

"Member…a member of the tribe?" I said softly, slightly shocked as I looked up at him. Old Deuteronomy nodded as he looked down at me.

"Yes, Tanaquil. A member of the tribe," he confirmed, as his stern gaze softened. "Now, Tanaquil, did anything happen while you were there?"

"No, sir. Macavity just dropped me into a small room for a while, before I was woken up just outside the junkyard by the Great Rumpus Cat," I replied.

"At least we can praise that," Old Deuteronomy replied, smiling slightly as he rubbed my shoulder softly. "Go get some sleep and we can talk more in detail later."

"Thank you, sir," I said, nodding slightly as I quickly walked off, the crowd dispersing behind me. There were a few hushed whisperings behind me, and I hunched over slightly, my ears flat against my head in an attempt to muffle them. I kept my eyes half-shut, trying not to let the whisperings get to me. As I turned down a small path, not really paying attention to where my feet were leading me, someone put a paw over my mouth and wrapped an arm around my waist.

"I just want to talk," a voice whispered in my ear. I elbowed him, turning around.

"You could have just said something!" I said, glaring fiercely at Ademetus. He rolled his eyes slightly, shaking his head.

"Can I just talk to you, though?" he asked me. I narrowed my eyes slightly at him, wondering what this was about.

"I was under the impression that we've been talking," I replied. He sighed and looked over his shoulder.

"Fine. Can we talk somewhere private?" he asked me. I nodded and he started walking down the path, glancing back at me every minute or so. After a few minutes, he walked into a small den, and sat down on a chair.

"What's this about?" I asked him, sitting on the ground on the other side of the den from him.

"How'd you know it was me?" he asked simply, leaning towards me slightly. I stared at him for a minute before remembering the small exchange with the Great Rumpus Cat the previous night.

"A mixture of your gait, voice and some help from fan fiction," I replied after a minute. He stared at me blankly. I sighed, and looked down at the ground.

"I watched you walk away from me, and you walked the same way as the Great Rumpus cat. That alone is a pretty good marker that you're the same cat. Your voices were nearly identical as well, and that's a good marker as well. Of course, fan fiction—stories based off of the musical—helped me make the connection," I told him, looking up to see his reaction. He nodded slowly, looking at me carefully.

"Do I need to tell you not to breath a word of my being the Rumpus Cat to another living soul?" he asked. I shook my head.

"I wouldn't dream of it, Ademetus. I wasn't planning on telling before you said that," I replied, telling the truth.

"Another question, Tana. Did any of those stories speculate as to how I became the GRC?" he asked me. I nodded slowly.

"Sorta. Some of the reasons were sorta preposterous. Others didn't give a reason," I told him. "I've been curious as to why you started. Most of the stories say you wanted the attention, other say some magical force that forces you to turn into him at night, and that you actually hate it."

"Strange…" Ademetus said softly, looking down at the ground for a minute before looking up at me and continuing. "Well, those are both quite wrong…No, I was attacked by pollicles a while back."

"Mist mentioned that to me. Said you weren't saved by the GRC, so that's why you don't like talking about him," I said, interrupting him. Ademetus smiled slightly, nodding.

"Yeah. He's helped me out quite a bit…Back to the beginning though. I had grown up to stories of the Great Rumpus Cat, the one who protected those who couldn't protect themselves. Well, it was a hard look at reality when I woke up from that attack in Jenny's den. I didn't want anyone else to have to come to reality like I did that day, so I decided to take on the role of the GRC myself. There needed to be someone that can protect the kits on the streets, protect the queens," he said. He glanced up at me, taking a deep breath. "Did you know that I grew up on the streets for a while? I came to the junkyard when I was twelve."

"Really? I didn't know that," I said, looking up at him. He nodded slightly.

"I learned to fight better than ever. I needed to if I was planning to protect them well enough. I ended up coming home with cuts every night. Misto found me one night with a broken arm, actually. Bone broke the skin. He ended up spending an hour healing me. Naturally, he wanted to know what I was doing, so I was forced to tell him. He ended up helping me out with teaching me how to fight better, and he also helped out with healing me before everyone wakes up," Ademetus said. "He covers for me."

"He must be a pretty good friend then," I said.

"Yeah. A really great one. I'm glad he's been around," he replied.

"Wow…How much sleep do you get, by the way?" I asked him, noting as his head started dropping.

"Not much, maybe two hours a night," he said, yawning. "It's enough though." I shook my head slightly, wondering how he had managed to last this long with that little of sleep.

"Go to sleep, Ad. Now," I told him sternly. He shook his head slowly.

"Can't. What if I don't wake up tonight! The strays depend on me…" he said, despite laying down and closing his eyes, quickly fading out of consciousness.

"I'll get Misto to wake you up," I replied softly as I watched him fall asleep.

"Wait…had something to tell you. You should thank Plato. He's also had me figured out…had me save you. I've got no idea how he knew where you were…" Ademetus said, slurring his words slightly as he opened his eyes slightly. I nodded, standing up as Ademetus fell asleep. Taking a deep breath, I walked out of the small den, running into Mistoffelees, who had been walking in.

"Ad's asleep," I told him. Misto sighed, looking relieved.

"I was hoping so. It's always a fight to get him to sleep more than a couple of hours," Mistoffelees replied. "What were you doing here, Tanie?"

"Nothing, really. Ad just wanted to talk for a bit," I replied, shrugging slightly. Misto nodded slightly as he hugged my tightly.

"Everyone was worried about you. Even Quax," he said softly. I smiled slightly, hugging him back.

"No need to worry now, Misto. I'm back, and none the worse for wear," I replied, pulling away from him slightly as we started walking away from Ademetus' den.

"Yep. Especially since you're staying with me," Misto said quickly. I turned towards him sharply, stopping in my tracks.

"What? Says who?" I asked him, panicking slightly.

"It's on Old D's orders. He wants you to stay with a proficient mystic as protection, so it's me or the twins. I just assumed that you would prefer to stay with me rather than them," Misto replied, looking over at me.

"Twins…I'll stay with the twins," I replied quickly, pulling my arm away from him.

"Why them? You don't really even know them," he said, looking slightly confused.

"There's two of them. And Tanto's a queen. Much less awkward," I replied.

"Obviously Old D wanted you to stay with me, though," Misto said.

"Obviously he gave me a way around staying with you," I told him, wishing that Misto wouldn't argue and just let me stay with the twins.

"Obviously he thought you liked me!"

"Obviously he didn't think of how awkward it would be for me to stay with the one cat I've had a crush on since I saw the musical!" I said quickly, not quite realizing what I said. My eyes widened slightly as I realized what I said, and I looked down, blushing.

"Obviously—wait, what?" Misto asked, shaking his head slightly as he looked at me. I shook my head slightly and he started tapping his foot impatiently.

"Obviously he didn't think about how awkward I'd feel staying with just a tom," I said.

"You're forgetting the second half, Tanie. Did you admit that you've had a crush on me?" he asked, smirking slightly. I looked up at him, not really knowing what to say, before running away from him, not really feeling like confirming that fact. As I ran down the paths of the Junkyard, not really knowing where on earth I was going, I realized that I was crying softly from gods-know-what. Probably from the confusion I had been feeling. Along with the lack of sleep. That probably helped with getting me to cry.

"Tana? Tana, what's wrong?" Plato asked me as he caught me, slowing me to a stop. I hadn't realized that I was about to run past him. "Why are you crying?"

"Life…everything," I replied softly as I leaned my head on his shoulder, my fatigue suddenly catching up to me as I swayed slightly.

"You need some sleep, Tana. Real sleep. Not in a cell, and not on the ground," he said softly as he picked me up bridal-style and started to walk towards the center of the junkyard. "I'll take you to the Twins."

"I'm not that tired, though," I said, squirming to try and get out of his grip.

"Just sleep, Tana," Plato whispered in my ear. I nodded, deciding to give up as I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"Don't let Macavity get to me, Plato," I asked him softly as I closed my eyes, almost asleep.

"I…I'll try not to," he replied. I nodded slightly, missing the hesitant tone as I fell asleep.

"You should let her sleep some more before you tell her, Tanto."

"No, she needs to know, Cori. We could be jeopardizing her life right now by not telling her!"

"Let her be in peace, at least for another half an hour. Don't force her to be like Dem too soon."

"Who says I'll be like Demeter?" I asked, finally breaking down and opening my eyes. Coricopat and Tantomile looked over at me, obviously not thinking I was awake.

"Well, most of the Junkyard thinks so," Tantomile replied simply.

"It would make sense considering Macavity's after you," Coricopat added. I smiled slightly, rolling my eyes.

"Oh yeah? Tell me something I didn't already know," I replied, restraining the urge to laugh.

"Well, we think he wants to mate with you also," Coricopat said. I blinked at him blankly, mildly confused.

"What part of 'something I didn't already know' didn't you understand?" I asked, wondering what was so hard about that statement to understand. The two twins stared at me, slightly dumbstruck.

"You know, yet you aren't flipping out?" Tantomile asked as Coricopat continued to stare openly at me.

"Would flipping out help me at all?" I asked her, meaning it as a rhetorical question.

"Well, no, but—"

"Then I'm not going to flip out. Why waste the energy to do nothing?" I asked, cutting off Tantomile. They sighed—Tantomile's sounding exasperated, and Cori's sound more along the lines of one from a love-sick fool. Tantomile and I stared at him, quite confused.

"What? That's hot! Not being scared of Macavity? No one's like that…" Coricopat said as he realized we were staring at him. I looked down at the ground, slightly surprised.

"You should go protect Jemima, Cori. If Mac's after me, he might want to get to me through her," I said after a moment, deciding to tempt fate farther and keep him away from me. Coricopat nodded quickly and walked out of the den.

"How can you get him to do something with passing it off as a suggestion?" Tantomile asked me, sounding slightly annoyed. I shrugged slightly.

"Not sure. All I know is that boys tend to do things I ask them to. It's nice sometimes, especially when you tell them to do something that humiliates themself," I replied. "I honestly didn't think it would work so easily." Tanto nodded before looking at me curiously.

"Why'd you refuse Tugger's advances? Most queens would have killed to have been in your shoes," Tantomile asked me.

"Well…I'm not exactly the sorta queen that who throws herself onto the hottest tom in sight," I replied, shrugging slightly. Tanto smiled slightly, nodding.

"What about that tom you left behind when you got changed?" she asked me. I raised an eyebrow slightly and she looked coolly back at me. "Victoria doesn't keep secrets well, and you talk in your sleep." I sighed, and looked down at the ground.

"It's been a while since I talked in my sleep…" I whispered. After a moment I looked back up at Tantomile. "He asked me, and we hadn't actually gone very far by the time I was changed. I don't really even know if I was actually going to get all that close to him."

"Oh…then what about Porthos and Ad and Misto? And Plato, for that matter," Tantomile said. I took a deep breath, smoothing down the fur on my legs.

"Well, Porthos and Ad are friends, Plato and I just understand each other, and Misto's the only one I've even thought about in a possibly romantic light," I replied. "He just asked to be my friend, and so I was fine with that." Tantomile raised an eyebrow, not seeming to buy my story at all.

"What?" I asked, not understanding why she was looking at me like that. Tantomile sighed, as she rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"You're a complete tease, Tana. How Porthos and Antha could stand to be around you for so long, I'll never know," she said. I looked up at her, slightly flustered.

"I couldn't be a tease. I couldn't be one even if I tried," I said, shaking my head slightly, smiling faintly. Tantomile sighed, and rolled her eyes again.

"Now, why couldn't you be a tease?" she asked me. I shrugged slightly.

"For one, I'm not pretty enough to be a good tease," I said. Tantomile shook her head quickly and stood up, moving a curtain to the side, revealing a full-size mirror.

"Mystics use mirrors to communicate. It's faster than sending messengers," Tantomile explained. "I want you to use it to look at yourself, and see all your assets. You are beautiful, and you need to realize it." I shook my head, moving away from the mirror. I never really liked mirrors, considering I never was pretty, and it only reinforced that fact when I looked in them.

"I'm not pre—"

"Take yourself out of the equation, Tanaquil, and just say why the cat in the mirror is beautiful," Tantomile told me. I sighed, standing up and looking in the mirror, trying to give it an honest try before giving up.

"I'm not pretty, Tanto! Just let it drop," I said, sighing slightly as I looked up at her. Tantomile shook her head as she positioned me right in front of the mirror.

"Tana…you've got an excellent figure, with a smooth, healthy curve," she said, running a paw along my side, "Your fur has a healthy, clean shine to it, and it's an interesting pattern to it," she continued, tracing a stripe of mine. "Your legs are long, and lithe," she ran a paw down my leg, and I pulled away as she went to feel the inside of my thigh.

"Fine! I'm pretty!" I said, simply wanting to stay away from Tantomile. "Fine, you win! I'm pretty!" I added before quickly leaving the den, hoping that I could find someplace else to stay.

"Hi there, Tanie," Misto said, walking up next to me. I smiled slightly at him, glad to see him.

"Hi, Misto. How are you?" I replied.

"Pretty good. I'm sorry about bugging you about that comment last night. I guess it was just a surprise," Misto told me. I shrugged slightly.

"It's alright. I don't mind much," I said softly. "I should be used to it, considering it's not the first time I've been bugged about crushes I've had…" Misto shrugged slightly as we continued walking down a small path.

"My offer's still up, by the way. About staying with me," he said, looking over at me. I nodded softly as I looked around, not really wanting to look at him as I asked my next question.

"D-do you have a queenfriend? Or a mate?" I asked him softly, glancing over at him. Mistoffelees looked over at me sharply, before shaking his head slightly.

"No. All the queens I've been interested in are either busy with other toms, or they think I'm gay for some reason," he replied softly. I nodded, smiling faintly as I turned away from him. Maybe I'd actually be able to have one of my crushes come to fruition and turn into an actual relationship.

"I think I'll end up taking you up on that offer, by the way," I said, still not really looking over at him.

"Tanie, what happened when you were with Macavity?" he asked me softly as he sat down at the side of the path. I sat down next to him, shrugging slightly.

"Nothing much, really. I got tossed over Macavity's shoulder, and then tossed into a cell. A nice tom helped me out. Nothing too bad happened, other than a bit of emotional damage from being kitnapped and no one coming to save me," I said.

"Really? That's all that happened? Nothing more?" Misto asked me, looking slightly shocked. I nodded slightly.

"Yeah, well, the nice tom taught me how to groom myself and shared a mouse with me…" I said.

"You still got off lucky, Tanie. Not many get off as easy as that," Misto replied. I nodded, realizing that.

"I'll not get off as easy the next time he gets to me," I said softly, looking down.

"There won't be a next time, Tanie. I'm not going to allow it. I'll protect you from him," he said. I laughed softly, not quite believing the absurdity of that statement.

"Really, Misto? Where'd you get that line to toss me? From Munk?" I asked him. Misto's reassuring smile faded, and he looked down slightly.

"Yeah…Munk told Dem that just after Macavity kitnapped her," he said.

"And did Dem get kitnapped later?" I asked.

"Oh…yeah. About two days later…" he said softly. I nodded slightly, and Mistoffelees sighed. "I'll still try my hardest not to get you kitnapped again, though."

"I know, Misto. I realize that you won't just let him waltz up to me. It's just better for my sanity to assume that he'll take me again," I said.

"Alright then. Tugger's been asking for you, also," Misto said. I groaned, not liking the shift of conversation, as I set my forehead on his shoulder.

"Can't you just tell him I died? I'm sure he'd buy it," I said. Misto laughed softly, and I smiled slightly against his shoulder, taking a deep breath.

"I just might do that for you. I wouldn't doubt for a moment that he'd buy it," he said.

"It would be interesting to see my own funeral. I don't think many people would get that opportunity," I said as I stood up. Misto nodded as he stood up.

"I've got some things to take care of, so why don't you go to find some other cats to make friends with and such? Then you can spend the night at my den tonight," he said. I nodded as I took a breath, smiling faintly as I saw him disappear with a faint shower of sparkles.

"Why'd you tell Munk where you were?" a voice from behind me said. I jumped as I turned around, not having heard someone come up from me.

"Bast damn you, Macavity!" I said, seeing the ginger tom standing about a foot away from me. He laughed a softer version of his trademark laugh, and took a step towards me. I steeled myself, forcing my feet not to take a step back from him.

"You've gotten braver," he said softly as he looked me over.

"Or more foolhardy," I said softly, not able to stay rooted any longer and taking a half-step back from him. He smiled cruelly at me, taking a step towards me as he reached a claw towards me and brushing my cheek with it. I turned my face away from him, taking another step away from him, yet I tripped over a piece of metal sticking out of the ground and I landed sprawled on the ground.

"You're clumsy as well as brave. I didn't usually think that worked as a pair," Macavity said. I shook my head slightly as I looked up at him as he sat down next to me.

"Not usually," I said softly, trying to stifle the quickly-rising panic that was threatening to have me simply run as fast as I could to hide behind Munkustrap. He leaned closer to me, shifting so that he was kneeling, and putting a paw on the other side of my chest, effectively pinning me down. His other brushed along my leg, moving it to my inner thigh. It apparently was my day to have cats get uncomfortably close to me. I quickly pulled away from him, scrambling backwards until I was a few feet away from him.

"Do you not likemy company?" Macavity asked me, glaring at me as he stood up.

"Not in that respect, sir," I said softly, looking up at him, still on the ground. "Besides, you just said you would talk to me."

"No, Tanaquil. I believe I said I would be seeing you often. That doesn't limit me to only talking to you," he said. "Yet very well, I won't touch you in that way until you are begging me to, and even then I will force you to wait." I shuddered slightly at the thought of begging him to touch me in that sexual manor. "Tanaquil, you are now to be my second spy here. Plato will show you how to get to my hideout, and I will expect you to come to my lair every other night, at the very least. You will do this willingly, and if you go against me, or if you tell Munkustrap what is happening, I will track down your dear little Porthos, and I will kill him, with you watching. If that does not get through your thick little skull, I will kill of Mistoffelees. Am I understood, Tanaquil?"

"Yes sir," I muttered softly, looking down as I decided it would be better to simply go along with it rather than try to fight him.

"Good kit," he said softly as he brushed my cheek gently and disappeared with a faint 'crack' sound.


	15. Chapter 15

I missed Porthos. Badly. What with Ad not talking to me much, the queens thinking I'm strange or some sort of whore because I'm out every night and not even looking my way, I was lonely. The only ones who talked to me much were Plato and Misto. Antha wasn't around much, and I was wondering where she was all the time, yet every time I went to talk to her, she would just turn around and walk away from me. I wanted my best friend, with his amazing smile and naivety, to come back and talk to me.

"What's up, Tanie?" Misto asked me, jarring me from my thoughts. I shrugged slightly, stretching slightly as I stood up in his den before sitting down again. I was waiting—well, more so hiding—until the sun set and I would have to go to my "humans". What humans, you might ask? Well, I didn't have any humans. I had Macavity, who told me to say that I went to my humans' house at night, when I actually went to his lair, about five minutes away from the junkyard.

"I don't know," I whispered softly, not really looking at him. He looked down at me, looking concerned, before sitting down in front of me, taking my paws in his.

"What's wrong? You've been acting strange, almost like you're hiding something from everyone," he said. I shook my head slightly, knowing that I couldn't tell him just what I was hiding.

"I'm not hiding anything. And nothing's wrong. I'm just trying to get used to life as a cat," I said softly, not looking up at him in case he could read the lie off my face.

"It's been over a week. Almost two. You should be getting better. Even Quaxo's contemplating talking to you," Misto said as he put a paw on my shoulder. I winced slightly; Macavity had dislocated it last night, and Plato was forced to relocate it himself. Misto caught my wince, and looked up at me. "Your shoulder was dislocated. Tanie, have your humans been hurting you?" I shook my head quickly.

"No. No, my humans have barely laid a hand on me," I said softly. "I was just being stupid."

"You can't dislocate your shoulder from being stupid. Otherwise some of the kits wouldn't have arms still. Stay home tonight, please. I'm worried about you," he said, concentrating on my shoulder and healing it with a small shower of sparks.

"What?" I asked, not concealing the look of pure horror on my face. I didn't even waste my energy trying to hide it.

"Stay home, Tanaquil. Please. It's just one night," he said, pleading with me.

"No, Misto. I can't. I'll try to be back by sunrise, at the very least," I told him.

"Why not? Tanie, you come home with cuts and bruises every night, and you expect me to heal them, and then you spend the rest of the day sleeping. All I'm asking is for you to stay home for just one night. That's all," he said, pleading even more with me. I was, quite frankly, surprised that he wasn't on his knees.

"I'll be here tomorrow night. Promise," I said softly. He nodded as he seemed appeased, and I looked down slightly, not looking forward to the night after tomorrow. I'd have to bring Macavity twice the information than I usually do. I looked back up after a moment, seeing that the sky had grown dark already. I stood up, starting to walk towards the door. "I'll see you tomorrow morning…"

"Be safe, Tanie. Please," Misto said softly. I glanced back at him, quite depressed with that comment.

"I can't promise that," I replied as I continued walking out to the closest entrance to Macavity's lair. Usually I went to the entrance farthest, yet I was running late tonight.

"Where are you going, Tan?" Alonzo said I walked through the entrance. I paused, not expecting him to be over at the west entrance. He was usually at the east entrance when I came through the entrance. Looking over at him, I scrambled to come up with some sort of lie.

"My humans live off this direction," I said softly. He looked slightly confused at me as he took a couple steps towards me.

"I thought your humans lived on the east side of the junkyard. This direction's crawling with henchcats of Macavity's," he said. Yeah…including me…I thought testily.

"They moved. And I still need to go. They'll be wondering where I am," I said softly, taking a few steps towards Macavity's lair.

"Don't worry about her, Lon. I'll be sure to keep her safe," Plato said, walking up behind Alonzo. Alonzo glanced back, nodding slightly.

"Alright then, Plato," Alonzo said, sounding slightly dubious. "I expect you'll be back tomorrow then, Plato?" Plato nodded slightly before leading me away from Alonzo.

"How are you holding up, Tana?" Plato asked me when we were out of earshot from Alonzo. I shrugged slightly before looking down.

"Not well, to be honest," I said softly, looking back up at him. He nodded slowly, taking a deep breath.

"It gets better. Barely," he replied. "Give it a week or so, and it almost gets better." He nudged me gently, smiling slightly as tried to be encouraging.

"Hope so. Misto thinks something's up. Took forever tonight for him to let me leave his sight," I said.

"I was wondering why you were still here when I walked up," Plato said softly. I nodded slightly, looking away.

"What's up between you and Victoria, Plato?" I asked him after a moment. He looked over at me, before shrugging slightly as he turned his attention back to the street ahead of us.

"Nothing really. We're just friends. Best friends," he replied softly. "We're practically siblings. What happened with Misto, by the way?"

"He thinks my humans are abusing me. He's forcing me to stay at the Junkyard for the next few nights," I replied. "Of course, I'll need to get permission from Macavity beforehand." Plato shrugged slightly.

"He'll probably give it to you. He'll do anything to make sure you keep your cover. He'll most likely give you a few days off," he said. I nodded, and looked around.

"We're here," I said softly, looking up at the warehouse. I took a deep breath, not quite wanting to go in.

"Are you ready?" Plato asked me, obviously trying to be encouraging. I shook my head slightly, paling slightly.

"How can someone be ready to willingly walk into Macavity's lair?" I asked him softly, still not ready to do this.

"Yet you've been doing this for a week, Tana…"

"Doesn't mean I'm used to it by now…"

"Guess so…Let's get going," he said before leading me into the warehouse. I followed close behind him, putting on a determined face, insistent that the henchcats not see me as weak.

"You going to see Macavity?" I whispered softly to Plato, looking up at him.

"No. I've got some other things to attend to before I talk to him," he said, not bothering to glance down at me as he continued staring down the hall determinedly. I nodded slightly as he turned down a side hall, and I continued walking down the hall, forcing myself to keep my eyes directed at Macavity's chamber doors, and not let them to stray to the windows through which several cats were being tortured. Knocking softly on the doors, I took a deep breath, waiting for Macavity's reply.

"You're allowed to come in whenever you please, Tanaquil," he called. Nodding slightly, I walked into the room, wondering why he wasn't with anyone. I closed the door behind me, before turning back towards Macavity, head down slightly. "Why don't you look at me?"

"I'm here to relay the information I've gathered today, sir," I said softly, still looking down at the ground, not wanting to be in Macavity's room alone. Usually at least one other person was with him.

"Look at me," he growled. I continued looking resolutely down at the ground. "Look at me Tanaquil!" he said as he slapped me, raking his claws along my cheek. I stubbornly continued looking down at the ground.

"The cats are getting suspicious of me, sir. They're wanting to force me into staying at the Junkyard," I told him.

"Look at me, queen!" Macavity said, kicking me hard in the stomach. I curled up, wincing as I fought not to cry out. "Look at me!"

"They'll get even more suspicious if I'm even worse off this time," I said, hoping he wouldn't hurt me yet again tonight so I wouldn't have to deal with another dislocated shoulder.

"Look at me!" he shouted at me, grabbing my face and turning it towards his. I closed my eyes tightly before answering him.

"No."

There was a stunned silence for a moment where I could feel the full force of his eyes tearing into my face. I waited for the next flood of pain as I took a deep breath.

"What did you say?" he growled lowly.

"I said, 'No.'"

He kicked me again in the stomach as he dropped my face. I gasped for air, trying not to get sick. He kicked me for a third time before reaching down and picking me up by my throat. I kept my eyes firmly shut, trying not to panic as I realized he was holding me too tightly for me to breath well. His hot breath was in my face, which slightly eased the problem of breathing.

"Stop," I heard a voice say. It sounded far away, yet whether that was true, or if it was just from the lack of oxygen, I wasn't sure. I felt myself thrown to the side, and I opened my eyes just in time to see a stone pedestal come up and hit me, hard in the side. I fell to the ground, gasping for breath as I heard a distinct snap come from a rib. Standing up, or at least trying to, I stumbled slightly, and I leaned against the pedestal, trying to catch my breath. Quickly, I glanced over at the tom who had stepped in, seeing that he was he was pure black, other than a red scar around his eye, shaped almost like a dragon.

"Who are you?" I asked him, still slightly dazed by the lack of oxygen. I tried taking a deep breath, yet winced as the pain from the broken rib flared again.

"This is no concern of yours, Cand," Macavity said harshly as he turned towards the tom.

"Yet it's a concern of yours when my father says he won't work for you if you kill or harm the queen," Cand replied coolly. Macavity glared at him for a minute before pushing him to the side as he walked past him. Cand glanced over his shoulder as Macavity disappeared down the hall before walking over to me.

"How bad are you hurt?" he asked me. I shrugged slightly, yet winced as my side stabbed me.

"Broken or fractured rib, cuts on my face, bruises along my side," I said. "The rib's the worst though. I don't think I have any head damage." Cand nodded as he took my hand, looking slightly concerned. He led me to back corner of the wall, and I glanced back at the door.

"Shouldn't we go that way?" I asked, wondering if I was more out of it than I had thought.

"Only if you want to run into Macavity on the way out," he replied as he pressed a brick on the wall. It sunk in, and a door opened, revealing a passageway.

"I didn't think I had hit my head that hard…" I said softly as I stared down the passage. Cand laughed softly, before nudging me down the hallway.

"Just walk down there, Tai. I'll be right behind you," he said with a smile. I nodded slightly before walking down the narrow passage, my eyes quickly adjusting to the dusty gloom of the passage. There was a soft clang as the door shut, and I was quickly blinded as there wasn't any light. Continuing down the passage, I kept walking, wondering how I would be able to know when to stop walking when the floor disappeared from under my feet. I cried out softly as I hit the floor a few moments later, tripping slightly and landing on my side, my rib hurting even worse now that I fell onto it. I whimpered softly as I curled up, trying to ignore the pain from my various injuries.

"You might want to move before Cand lands on you," a tom's voice said from behind me, sounding almost amused. I nodded weakly, despite knowing that he wouldn't be able to see, and I crawled away from where I landed, before hitting my head on a wall. I sat down, holding my side as I tried to take a few deep breaths, yet wincing at the motion.

"Let me look at that," a second voice said sternly as there was a small "oof" from where I had been earlier. I shook my head slightly, not wanting him to touch me until I could see him.

"I forgot about that fall…" I heard Cand say, sounding annoyed.

"How nice of you to drop in," the first tom said. I grinned at the joke, despite the pain I was in, and stifled a soft chuckle.

"You always forget that fall, Cand," the second tom said. "Ty, turn on the lights, please, and Tanaquil, please don't encourage the dolt." I closed my eyes quickly as the lights turned on, glad that I hadn't been blinded from the sudden light. I opened them after a minute, and saw two more pitch-black toms in the room, looking nearly the same as Cand, except that they didn't have any visible scars.

"I'm not a dolt, Chi! If anything, Cand's the dolt for always forgetting the fall," the first tom said. I assumed that he was Ty.

"Yes, you are, Ty. Especially considering you answered to dolt," the tom closer to me said. He was probably Chi. I rolled my eyes slightly at the conversation.

"Shut up you two…Tai, this is Typhon," Cand motioned back towards the tom behind him, "and my dad, Chimera," he said as he pointed at the one closer to me. I nodded slightly as I looked up at Chimera.

"Mind if I look at you now? I heard you whimpering softly after you fell," he said. I shook my head slightly, still curled up tightly as he walked over to me. I looked up at him, before closing my eyes as he knelt down next to me and touched my side. I winced, moving away from him slightly, trying not to whimper loud enough for him to hear.

"My rib's broken, or fractured. I'm going to have bruises all along my sides. I don't know what else might be wrong with me," I said softly. Chimera nodded tersely, before turning my cheek towards his face.

"What about these cuts, Tanaquil?" he asked me. I sighed slightly, nodding.

"Forgot about them…they'll need to be taken care of also, please…" I said softly, hoping he'll be able to help me out. He nodded slightly as he glanced back at Typhon, who stood up and went to a small cupboard, pulling out some bandages and a small jar.

"Mind telling me what sort of stunt you were trying to pull off with Macavity up there?" Chimera asked me as he took the bandages and jar from Typhon. I shrugged slightly, looking down at the ground. "Really, you have no idea? After a week of being his little pet, you suddenly bite back at him for no reason at all?"

"No, I just don't have much of a reason. I simply couldn't take it, no matter what happened. Pride wouldn't allow it anymore," I replied, wincing slightly as he started putting some of the gel from the jar onto the cuts on my face.

"You're right, that's not much of a reason," Chimera said. "Regardless, you pissed Macavity off, and he's going to be out for revenge." I nodded, having realized that earlier.

"You're probably correct, Chimera," I said softly. "I don't know what to do…"

"You could hide out with the Junkyard. The Jellicles might be able to help you stay from Macavity," he replied as he moved onto my rib. I winced slightly as he touched it, and I shook my head.

"Munkustrap hates me. I won't be safe at all. He'd let Macavity waltz right in and take me if he asked nice enough," I replied. Chimera nodded as he felt along my ribs before sighing slightly.

"I figured you wouldn't fall for that. You'll need to leave the country. And you're lucky that you've only got a fracture. It could have been a lot worse with Macavity hurting you," Chimera said. I nodded, quite glad, and he quickly wrapped my chest. "You're going to end up having to take these bandages off soon, yet they'll help until you leave," he said as he finished. I nodded, sitting against the wall as I looked up at the three cats.

"Who are you guys?" I asked them after a minute. Typhon grinned slightly as he looked at me.

"We're the Black Shadows," he said. "Spies and assassins."

"We're actually only some Black Shadows," Cand corrected. Typhon rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"Either way, Cand will escort you out of the country and he'll stay with you until he brings you back. He'll be sure to keep you safe, Tanaquil," Chimera said.

"But, Dad!" Cand said, sounding indignant and annoyed.

"No but's, Cand. You will listen to me, alright?" Chimera said, turning towards Cand.

"How long will I have to leave for?" I asked, cutting off an argument from starting.

"Not sure. A while, probably," Typhon said. "Depends on how long it takes him to find a new plaything."

"Dad! I have to—" Cand started to say, yet Chimera cut him off again.

"Cand, I know you like that queen, yet you will do as I say. You will help Tanaquil so that she doesn't end up getting killed," Chimera ordered. Cand glared at Chimera for a moment longer before stalking out of the room.

"Cand and Glicka—" Typhon said in a sing-song voice.

"Shut up, Typhon!" Cand shouted from the other room. Chimera sighed, shaking his head slightly.

"You don't have to do this…"I muttered softly, looking down at the ground. Typhon, for once, answered me.

"Well, we sorta have to, Tanaquil. It's too much fun to mess with Macavity to simply let him have you," Typhon said. I looked down at the ground, shaking my head slightly.

"Quit moping, Tanaquil. It doesn't suit you at all," Chimera said as he forced me to look up. "You have no reason to be so downcast. You'll be safe with Cand, and you'll be out of the country by dawn." I stared up at him, mildly surprised at how soon he wanted me to leave.

"This morning?" I asked him softly. He nodded, helping me to my feet. I stood up, still taking shallow breaths.

"Deep breaths," Chimera said as he unwrapped my chest. "Don't continue with those shallow breaths. You could end up worse off than you are now." I nodded slightly and took a deep breath, wincing as my ribs started throbbing again.

"I'll try," I said as Cand walked back into the room. "Where are headed?" Cand shrugged slightly as he looked at me.

"South. South France, I'm thinking," he said. I nodded slightly before glancing between Chimera and Typhon.

"Thank you for helping me…" I said softly. Typhon shrugged slightly.

"Leave the country and stay away from Macavity," Chimera said. I nodded and walked behind Cand, following him down a second passageway that gently sloped upwards.

"Can we stop by the Junkyard, Cand?" I asked him softly. He glanced at me, before nodding slightly, sighing

"Yeah. Not for long though, Tai. Just a couple of minutes," he replied as we stepped out onto the street. I nodded and started running towards the Junkyard, intent upon seeing them as long as I could.

"Tanie!" I heard Misto say as I ran into him as I approached the clearing.

"Tanie?" Cand asked from behind me, smiling. I glared at him over my shoulder before looking back at Misto.

"Tanie, why were you running? And why do you work for Macavity?" he asked me, looking heartbroken as he said that. I stared at him, slightly surprised at the question.

"Macavity threatened me. I was trying to protect you. I'm on my way out of the country to get away from me," I replied.

"Why, Tanie?" Misto asked me softly, still looking sad. I looked back at him, mildly confused.

"Why, what?" I asked him.

"We're on a time limit, Tai…" Cand said quickly. I glared at him again over my shoulder, silencing any further protests.

"Why are you leaving the country? Why did you worry about me?" Misto asked me as he turned my face back towards him.

"He said he would kill you and Porthos if I didn't help him out. I finally had enough of being his toy to push around, so I refused to listen to him, and he's bound to want me dead now. I can't stay long, I was just going to say bye to Antha," I said. Misto nodded slightly, looking down at the ground.

"She's in her den, next to mine," he said softly. I nodded, hugging him tightly before running off to Antha's den. I quickly made it there, and I walked in, trying not to trip on anything. My effort was fruitless as I tripped over a pair of furry legs in the middle of the floor.

"Wha—?" a groggy voice said, not sounding like Antha. It seemed like a familiar voice, yet I couldn't quite place it.

"What is it?" Antha's voice said from a few feet away.

"Someone tripped on me…"

"Yes, that would be the queen sprawled on the floor," I muttered as I attempted to sit up slightly.

"Tana?"

"Quil?"

"Porthos?" I asked, finally placing the voice as I sat up quickly, seeing his familiar face in the dark. "What on earth are you doing here?"

"Spending the night with my sister…you?" he asked me as he touched my shoulder.

"I was going to say bye to Antha…" I said softly, still not believing that he was here as I touched his paw that was resting on my shoulder.

"Bye?"

"I got on Macavity's bad side. I need to leave…" I said softly as I looked up into his eyes.

"You're…leaving? Yet...yet…" he said, looking even more heartbroken than Misto had. I looked at him for a moment longer before wrapping my arms around him, ignoring the pain in my side as I hugged him tightly, trying not to cry.

"I missed you, Porthos," I said softly, my voice shaking slightly. "I'm going to miss you."

"You just had to realize you like me as you leave," he said softly, hugging me back tightly. My side started throbbing worse than ever, yet I didn't care right then as I started crying softly.

"Yeah…yeah, it was just my luck to realize just how much I liked you as I have to leave," I said softly before pulling away from him. Antha walked over to me as I stood up, wiping my face off slightly.

"Stay safe, Tana. Don't die on me, please," she said as she hugged me softly. I nodded as I pulled away from her.

"I'll try, Antha. Keep Porthos safe for me. I plan on being around him more when I come back," I said, smiling slightly at Porthos. I turned, not able to be around them much longer without refusing to leave at all, and walked right into Cand. "Sorry," I muttered softly as I continued walking.

"It's alright, Tai…let's get you to the train station and then I can head back home," he said. I looked up at him, surprised and feeling slightly abandoned.

"Why?" I asked him softly.

"My friend's probably going to give birth this weekend. I promised I'd be there when she had her kits," he replied. "I'll rejoin you right afterwards."

"Oh…are they your kits?" I asked him, slightly curious.

"No!" he said, shaking his head quickly. "EC, no. I don't even have a mate. No, they're my friend's kits. I promised Limbo that I'd make sure he doesn't faint."

"Oh…that's interesting…" I said softly as I looked around the streets.

"We're at the station," he said softly a few minutes later. I nodded, not feeling like I really wanted to do this. He glanced over at me, before wrapping an arm carefully around my shoulder.

"Don't worry about it. You'll be fine for two days," he said softly. I nodded as he led me to a train. He helped me onto the train. I hugged him slightly as I noticed him staying on the platform.

"This is where we part?" I said softly. He nodded sadly and I looked down at the ground.

"Yeah. I still need to get Kiwi so that she can help Lea…" he said softly. I nodded, not bothering to ask about the names as I walked farther onto the train. "Don't get caught by humans, Tai. They're bad news."

"I'll try not to," I said as I went to find a hiding hole to stay in for my trip.


	16. Chapter 16

"Bienvenue à France. Nous arriverons à Paris bientôt," a cool female voice said. "Welcome to France. We will arrive in Paris shortly." I looked up, opening my eyes as I realized that I had fallen asleep without realizing it. I stretched out, feeling the train slow to a stop and I stood up, waiting to get off the train. The people quickly filed out of the train car, and once the stream slowed down, and I quickly walked out behind them, figuring that it would be best to hide in a large city rather than a smaller town. Not to mention, I had always wanted to go to Paris. Looking around the platform, I tried to decipher the French, before abandoning the task and deciding to simply find my way to Notre Dame myself. It was a large building, so how hard could it be to find it?

Well, apparently it was much harder than I realized at first, considering I had to find three cats that spoke English and ask them for directions. The third cat decided to simply just lead me there, realizing I had no clue where I was headed in this confusing town with no rhyme or reason to the ordering of their streets. Apparently I had been going in the wrong direction for the past twenty minutes. Eventually, I finally stood in a square, looking up at the large cathedral that was Notre Dame. A moment later, I started for the cathedral, quickly sneaking through a side door.

"Good morning, daughter. Isn't it early to be out?" a brown tom said as he walked over to me. I quickly took a step away from him, taking in his appearance as I tried to figure out if he was trustworthy or not.

"I guess it is, yet I've been traveling for most of the night and day…can I stay here for a few days? Sanctuary would be nice," I said, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

"You'll be safe so long as you stay within the walls of the cathedral, child. Most cats still follow the laws of sanctuary," the tom said, fingering the small wooden cross that was hanging around his neck. "Might I ask you who you're seeking sanctuary from?" I took a deep breath, looking down slightly as I decided whether or not to tell the truth.

"Macavity, sir. I managed to get on his bad side, and I'm worried that he'll attack me," I replied after a moment, opting for the side of truth. He nodded slightly as he looked at me with either compassion or pity. I wasn't sure which.

"Macavity and his henchcats will respect the laws of sanctuary as they always to," he said, his eyes sliding slightly out of focus as he said that. I didn't think anything of it, before nodding slightly and giving a relieved sigh. I was glad that I could stay someplace safe.

"Thank you. Is there some place I could stay, or sleep while I'm here?" I asked him, not wanting to sleep on the stone floor. His eyes focused again, and he nodded.

"We have a small dormitory. There's not many beds, yet we don't have many cats here, and I'm sure you'll be perfectly fine. This way, child," he said as he started walking back through the sanctuary. I nodded slightly, following closely behind him through the entryway. As we came into the main hall, I stopped, staring up at the massive stained glass windows, utterly awe-struck at their magnifigance.

"Wow…they're…amazing," I said softly, almost speechless as I continued to stare at them.

"They are quite amazing, aren't they? I often have to remind myself of that," he said. "Come now, child. You might want to rest before nightfall." I nodded slightly, yet I didn't want to tell him that I had just slept for an hour, at least. At any rate, I simply followed behind him, not really saying anything. He quickly led me to a small hole in the wall, just large enough for our cat-forms to slip through. We slipped through them, and came up to a large room with about seven beds in it. I stood up next to him, looking around.

"How is this here?" I asked, looking around the room, slightly confused as there weren't any human-sized doors leading into it, yet it was the right size for a human, or a cat in their Jellicle-forms.

"It is a mystery to us all. It's been here since the first cat wandered in," he replied. I stared around the simple room, still not quite believing it.

"Wow…are you the only one here?" I asked him. He shook his head slightly as he looked back at me.

"No, Dominick lives here also. He actually should have been here a few hours ago, considering he usually gets several hours of sleep before night falls," he said. I nodded slightly, wondering who Dominick was. "You'll need to pull your own weight around here. That includes cleaning up your space, hunting for yourself, and helping out with some of the smaller jobs around here," he added, waving his paw like it was nothing. Well, I guess it is nothing for someone who's done it for their entire life.

"What if I can't?" I asked him softly, slightly embarrassed to admit it.

"Don't worry. We'll teach you how to do your jobs," he replied, smiling slightly. I looked down, shaking my head slightly as I realized he didn't understand my question.

"No…What if I can't hunt?" I said, looking up slightly at him. He looked sharply at me, obviously surprised that I couldn't.

"You can't hunt? Didn't your father teach you how to hunt? Good Heavyside, child, every cat knows how to hunt!" he said, sounding utterly confused and surprised.

"Well, my dad left last summer, not to mention he's human…" I said softly. The tom stared at me for a good minute, and I sighed, realizing I would have to explain it. The news probably hadn't reached this far south yet. "The Everlasting Cat turned me into a cat on the last winter solstice," I explained to him softly. He stared at me for another good minute, before taking a few hasty steps away from me.

"Heathen! Be gone, you evil Demon sent from the Fell below!" he said, his eyes wide and fearful as he continued stepping away from me. I looked at him confused, wondering why he thought I was a demon. I didn't think I looked like a demon, considering I thought I looked like a cat.

"Shut up, Luc," a new voice said, sounding annoyed. I turned to see a dark brown Maine Coon walking into the room. He had very little variation in his coat, and I grinned slightly as I saw his well-toned muscles, enjoying the sight of him. If this was Dominick, I figured I would have very little trouble in staying here for any length of time.

"Yet whoever heard of the Everlasting Cat changing a dirty human into a cat? You have to admit, Dominick, it's preposterous!" the tom—who was apparently named Luc—said. I sat down on the bed, deciding to watch the conversation unfold before me.

"Skimbleshanks told me about her, Luc. He watched her get changed. She's not a demon, idiot," the Maine Coon—Dominick, if I understood correctly—said, rolling his eyes. Luc shook his head quickly.

"She probably simply enchanted them to think that! She is a temptress, boy! She wants us to believe that she is blessed by the Everlasting Cat!" Luc replied. I laughed, not believing that Luc could honestly think I was a demon temptress. They turned towards me, looking obviously confused.

"There's no way in Fell that I could be a temptress, Luc. Even if I tried," I told them. Dominick nodded, and looked over at Luc, pointing at me.

"Elle est gentille! Elle est un ange," Dominick said. I tuned out the conversation as it degenerated into pure, rapid French that I had no prayer to ever understand in my future. I hoped that Dominick was pleading my case well, considering I didn't know where else I could stay in this town.

"You can stay here, by the way. Luc won't give you any more trouble, and if he does, just get me. I'm Dominick by the way, in case you didn't catch that earlier," Dominick said a few minutes later. I nodded slightly and he walked over to me. "Is it safe to assume that you're Tanaquil?"

"Yeah. I'm Tanaquil, the silly human who thought she could see the Jellicle Ball without any consequences," I replied. Dominick nodded, smiling faintly as he looked over at me.

"Isn't it time for Luc's rituals?" he asked loudly, smirking as he didn't look up at the father. Luc's eyes widened slightly as he was obviously remembering something important.

"I'm late, I'm late!" he said, running out of the room while he continued to tell the world he was late in a panicked tone. I laughed softly, looking down at the ground.

"Now if only he was a white rabbit…" I said softly. Dominick looked at me almost confusedly, and I shook my head slightly. "It's nothing," I told him. He nodded slightly as he looked around before sitting on a bed not far from the one I was currently sitting on.

"Alors, you can sleep there, and Luc did tell you that you needed to hunt for yourself?" he asked me. I took a deep breath, looking down at the ground as I nodded slowly.

"Yeah. It's what brought up the topic of my past. I don't exactly know how to hunt at all. Others have been helping me out with that respect. To be honest, I'm not sure I'd be able to bring myself to actually kill it…" I said, trailing off softly. Dominick shook his head quickly, grinning faintly.

"Hogwash. I'll help teach you to hunt," he said, sounding quite sure that he would be able to get me to hunt. "I would have figured the Jellicles would have helped you though." I shrugged slightly, looking up at the small stained glass window depicting an image of the young Virgin Mary.

"I think it was mostly just that they didn't think I wouldn't know something they take for granted. It's not something you'd probably think about after you actually do learn how," I said. Dominick nodded slightly, closing his eyes. I pulled my legs closer to my body, leaning against the wall as I waited for him to say something.

"Do you ever miss being a human?" he asked me softly as he opened his eyes a moment later, turning towards me. I thought for a moment, shrugging slightly.

"A bit. More at nighttime than during the day. Also when I'm hungry. I mostly just miss the convenience of being human," I said softly after I had thought about it for a few minutes.

"Maybe you'll get turned back into a human," Dominick said, sounding like he was trying to be hopeful for my sake. I shook my head slightly in reply.

"For all the advantages of being a human, I don't really want it. I like being a cat, if I'm being perfectly honest with myself, and yes, I might miss being a human, yet I like my life now," I said, barely looking up at him. He nodded slightly, before standing up and walking outside.

"Where are you going?" I asked him, curious. He smiled faintly as he looked back at me, motioning for me to come with a paw. I stood up, quickly walking over to him.

"I blow out the candles at nightfall. You can home help, and that way you could get to know the cathedral better," he said. I nodded, following him as he walked out and over to a long row of candles. I watched as he took a breath, held it for a moment as he closed his eyes, and gently blew out a candle.

"Why are you hesitating?" I asked him softly as he started on another candle. He held up a paw before continuing with the rest of this section of the row. I continued to watch him, not saying anything else until he finishished.

"I make a wish before blowing out each candle," he said, turning towards me once he had finished. I looked at him slightly confused.

"Wouldn't that just dilute the effects of the wish?" I asked him, figuring that was why people only made wishes on birthday candles. Dominick simply shook his head slowly.

"Not if you only wish for one thing, Tana," he said simply before turning to the candles again to continue with his ritual.

"What's your wish?" I asked him before he could start again. A shadow passed over his face as he didn't look up at me.

"It won't come true if you tell someone, Tana. Everyone knows that," he said as a chill settled over the pair of us. I looked away quickly, suddenly regretting asking him such a personal question so soon after I had met him.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked you that," I said softly, not looking up at him.

"It's alright. You can get started on the candles on the other side, and I'll finish these ones and the ones around the altar. I'll teach you how to hunt once we're done," he said quietly. I nodded, quickly running to the other side and I looked at the small flames of the candles. Closing my eyes slightly, I wished that whatever Dominick was wishing would come true, and I quickly blew out the small flame. Continuing with the rest of the candles, I repeated the same wish for each one, and soon enough the cathedral was plunged into darkness, not that it mattered much now that I had the sight of a cat's. A dark figure walked up beside me, and I jumped, before realizing that it was just Dominick walking over.

"You're quite jumpy, especially considering you watched me walk over," he said. I nodded slightly, shrugging as well.

"Yeah, I know. I didn't actually really recognize you until you came up to me though," I replied quickly. He shrugged slightly before motioning for me to follow him. I quickly started following him, slightly confused as I saw that he wasn't walking to the room. "Aren't we going to sleep now?" I asked him, wondering why he wasn't going to the room. He shook his head slowly, also looking confused.

"No…we're Parisian cats, we go about at night, when the humans aren't around to give us trouble," he said. I nodded slowly, not wanting to correct him that I was technically a London cat, and I wasn't excited to switch my clock to be nocturnal, either.

"Yet Luc isn't out at night…" I said softly after a moment. Dominick rolled his eyes slightly.

"Luc's not a Paris cat. He's also an idiot. Don't listen to a word he says," he replied. I nodded again, not quite liking his snippy tone that he always seemed to have when he was talking about or to Luc.

"Alright then, Dominick. I suppose you know better than I do…" I said softly. He nodded, smiling slightly as he looked over his shoulder at me.

"I do when it comes to living in Paris, Tana. Why don't we head out into the city? I'll teach you how to hunt there," he said as he started walking out of the cathedral again. I furrowed my brows slightly, trying to understand why he was so adamant about going outside. I could have sworn that I had heard something scuttling around in here.

"Yet Macavity might be able to find me out there. And capture me. And kill me," I said, not liking the sound of leaving the sanctuary the more I thought about it.

"You'll be fine, Tana. Don't worry," he said, smiling confidently as he led me outside. I nodded dubiously, yet I followed him regardless.


	17. Chapter 17

Dominick led me through the streets, smiling as he showed me all the bright lights of the city, including a windmill with bright red lights trimming it. We snickered softly as we watched a line of college-age boys file into the building, looking almost nervous and excited at the same time.

"This way, Tana," he said, glancing back at me and pulling gently on my paws as he tried to get me to follow faster. I nodded slightly as I picked up my speed, and we quickened to a run, passing a man who was muttering something about needing to get a briefcase to some Ernst Ludwig.

A few minutes later, Dominick had led me into a small alleyway, and he was crouched down, sniffing the air with his eyes closed. I stood beside him, not really knowing what exactly to do, or what he was really doing.

"Smell that, Tana?" he asked me softly, looking back at me. I sniffed the air cautiously, not exactly sure what he wanted me to smell, yet I caught something that smelled almost like food to me. Whether it was or not, I wasn't quite sure.

"Yeah…is it food possibly?" I asked him hesitantly as I looked back at him, wanting to make sure I was right. Dominick nodded as he gently pushed me towards the source of the scent. I planted my feet, not really wanting to be forced into this much.

"You've got to have some instincts, so tell me what it is," Dominick said softly, as he continued to push me towards the source of the scent. My feet took a few steps forward, and I quickly sniffed at the air again, trying to figure it out.

"Mouse? I don't know…can't we go back to Notre Dame, Dominick?" I said, my exhaustion from the last few days starting to catch up to me as I had a harder time keeping my eyes open. He shook his head slightly, still urging me to go after the mouse.

"Just get it and eat it, and then I'll take you back," Dominick said. I nodded slightly, not sure I'd actually be able to do it, if I'd actually be able to kill the mouse and eat it. "You don't think you're going to be able to do this, don't you?" he asked me, rolling his eyes slightly. I nodded again, figuring he would try to help me with it before expecting me to be able to do it without any help.

"Can't you just show me?" I asked him softly. He shook his head firmly.

"No. You've got the instincts, so just keep your humanness out of the way and you'll be sure to do fine," he said, pushing me harder towards the source of the scent so that I stumbled slightly as he ran off. I stared at his quickly-disappearing figure, and I turned back towards the source of the scent, deciding I might as well try to hunt.

It didn't work.

 _What on Earth am I doing in this Parisian alleyway?_ I asked myself as I leaned against the wall of a stone building, curling up tightly. I wouldn't ever be able to be an actual cat, even if I did learn how to live as one. Who was I to think that I might actually be able to be a cat? I was just a stupid human girl who was playing dress-up in the City of Lights. I took a shaky breath, before I broke into tears, sobbing softly as I cried into my knees.

"Quil?" I heard a soft, very familiar, voice say off to the side. I looked up quickly, seeing a blurry Porthos standing a few feet away from me through my tears

"I've got to be dreaming…" I whispered softly as I watched him run up to me and wrap his arms around me tightly.

"Are you alright?" he asked me softly, sounding slightly concerned as he looked at me. I didn't answer his question, simply speechless that he was actually here.

"This can't be real," I whispered, still slightly in shock as I looked at his familiar form. He took a deep breath before pulling away from hugging me slightly to look at my face carefully.

"Where are you staying, Quil? You look exhausted…" he said softly, his voice soft and caring. I thought for a moment as I processed the question, having almost missed it in my daze.

"Notre Dame," I said finally, blinking my tears away as I took a proper look at him. After I realized that it was truly him, I wrapped by arms around him, feeling quite happy now that someone I knew was here. It made me even happier that it was him rather than someone else.

"Just a second," he said as he pulled away from my arms, before quickly and carefully picking me up bridal style. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, trying to keep myself from falling out of his sure grip as he started walking out of the alleyway and towards where I thought the cathedral was.

"I really must be dreaming…there's no way you could be really here," I breathed softly before leaning my head on his shoulder, taking a deep breath as I smelled his comforting, familiar scent.

"Quiet, Quil…You're almost back to a safe place," Porthos whispered softly. I nodded slightly as I closed my eyes, smiling faintly as I slowly fell asleep in his arms.

I opened my eyes to a familiar head of dark fur sitting close to my face. Smiling, I was glad to realize that the previous night with Porthos carrying me back to Notre Dame wasn't a dream. It wouldn't have bothered me much if it had been, yet it made me quite happy that it wasn't.

"I was afraid you were a dream…" I whispered softly as I propped myself up on my elbows as I looked around and noticed that I was on my borrowed bed in the secret room. Porthos turned around, smiling broadly, a smile which I returned as he sat down next to me. He smiled as he pulled me up into a sitting position.

"Now, if I was a dream, Quil, how could I do this?" he asked me softly as he gently caressed my cheek. I closed my eyes, leaning in towards his paw before opening my eyes slightly. Slowly, I looked into his eyes and pressed my lips against his gently, wrapping a paw around to the back of his head.

"What was that for? I liked it, yet what was it about?" he asked me softly. I grinned slightly, shrugging.

"I don't know. I told you that I missed you," I said, still grinning up at him. He wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly as he brushed his lips against my cheek.

"I didn't think you liked me that much though…" he whispered softly. I took a deep breath, smiling faintly as I kept my arms around him.

"It's been a long time coming though. I've been wanting to do this for the past week. I'm sorry, by the way. I don't think I ever apologized to you for calling you a pet," I said, looking down slightly. Porthos shook his head slightly as he smiled.

"Don't worry about it, Quil," he whispered softly. I nodded, before he pulled away from me, standing up.

"Where are you going?" I asked, almost fearfully as I looked up at him. He grinned slightly at me before kissing my cheek gently.

"Just outside for a minute. I'll be back in a few minutes," he said. I nodded, relaxing slightly as he walked out of the room. Shortly after Porthos left, Dominick walked in, looking slightly ragged and exhausted.

"Who was that? He was sitting in front of you all night, seeming to protect you. Wouldn't let me get close to you to see if you were alright. Wouldn't even let me set foot in here," he said as he sat down on his bed, leaning back against the wall.

"That was Porthos, a friend of mine for the past few months," I said, smiling slightly at the thought of him protecting me through the night, even though it probably wasn't needed.

"Looked like he's more than a friend of yours from what I saw," Dominick replied, smirking slightly as he closed his eyes.

"Oh really? What would you call our relationship then?" I asked him. He grinned almost cruelly as he opened his eyes and looked over at me.

"Tana and Porthos, sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I—," he sang softly, getting cut off as I threw a pillow at his head. He dodged it easily, and picked it up, fluffing it up slightly and setting on top of his other pillow.

"Shut up," I muttered softly, smiling faintly at the thought of possibly being more than simply friends with Porthos.

"Aw, where's the fun in not bugging you about it?" he asked. I rolled my eyes slightly as I leaned back against the wall, feeling quite euphoric as it sunk in that Porthos was actually here in the cathedral, or at least close by.

"Tana, why did Porthos bring you back here, rather than you walking back here on your own two feet?" Dominick asked me a few minutes later.

"I wasn't exactly able to walk well…he simply asked me where I was staying, I told him here, and he picked me up," I replied, shrugging slightly before looking back at Dominick. "Why?"

"No reason, really. Just curious about it. You let your humanness get in the way, didn't you?" he asked me. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes for a moment before nodding slightly.

"Yeah. I couldn't bring myself to actually hunt it, let alone kill it," I said as my good mood slowly vanished.

"Thought I told you not to think too much about it," he said, raising an eyebrow slightly. I nodded as I looked down at the sheets on the bed.

"You did…I just couldn't do it," I said softly, not looking up at him as I tried not to think too much about what would happen if I couldn't learn how to hunt. I doubt that other people would want to hunt for me, especially after I'm a cat for a few months.

"So…are you going to try again?" Dominick asked me. I shrugged slightly, feeling quite hopeless at that point in time.

"Maybe once I get desperate enough," I replied, barely breathing the words as I watched Porthos walk back into the room, sitting down next to me. I smiled as I saw him, and I wrapped an arm around his waist, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"Thought you said you'd only see me as a friend," he murmured in my ear. I smile slightly, and shrugged as I continued to hold him close.

"Well, things happened to change since then. I thought I'd never see you again," I replied softly as I rubbed my cheek against his shoulder. There was a groan from the other side of the room and I glanced over to see Dominick closing his eyes tightly as he covered his ears. I laughed softly, closing my eyes as I decided not to bother with him. A moment later, something slightly harder brushed my ear, and I looked over to see that Dominick had thrown a pillow at me, missing my head by mere inches.

"Go get a room! Some cats  _are_ trying to sleep here!" he said, sounding quite annoyed. I grinned slightly as I looked over at him.

"Technically we are in a room," I said, pointing out an obvious problem with his request. Dominick rolled his eyes.

"Go get another room then!" Dominick said as he walked over to Porthos and me to grab the pillow he had thrown at us. Porthos laughed softly, before standing up, offering a paw to me.

"Let's give the Coon what he wants and leave him in peace, Quil," he said with a grin. I nodded, smiling as I took his paw and followed him out of the room. He led me to a small room off to the side of the main area, and we sat down on a bench inside.

"What did you do just now?" I asked him softly as I curled up close to him, enjoying his fur rubbing up against mine.

"Hmm? Oh, I prayed some, saved a mouse from a cat, fulfilled promises I made if I found you," he said as he wrapped his arms around me, holding me close as he subtly adjusted my body so that I was sitting on his lap. "Do you mind telling me why you felt you had to leave the country?" he asked me after a moment. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes as I focused on his arms around me.

"As much as I might not have wanted to admit it before, I've always loved your touch," I whispered softly, deciding to not answer his question. I didn't exactly want to bring up the Napoleon of Crime and break this mood.

"You didn't answer my question," Porthos said softly, pointing out the obvious. I sighed, leaning my head back before answering.

"Fine. Macavity's out for my blood! Just after you left the hotel room, he came up to me, said he would be talking to me. He ended up kitnapping me—"

"Didn't Munkustrap do anything to protect you?" he asked me, interrupting my story. I sighed slightly, and shook my head.

"No, not really. At any rate, he kitnapped me, and a friend helped me to escape. It was actually quite nice of him…I made it back to the Junkyard, Mac found me there, and I had to be his spy there. I couldn't take being his pawn after about a week, and so I stood up to him. I'm still hurting from that, actually," I finished softly, looking down as I took a deep breath. Porthos sighed slightly, holding me tightly, causing the bruises along my body to twinge painfully.

"I would have expected you to have stood up to him after a day, Quil…" he whispered softly. I shook my head slightly, knowing I never would have done that. In fact, I was actually wondering why I even ran the risk of getting Porthos and Misto killed in the first place.

"I didn't want you hurt or killed, Porthos. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself at all if you had been," I said softly, before turning slightly so that I could hug him tightly. "I missed you, Porthos…I missed you so much…Promise to never leave me again." He shook his head quickly, before gently pressing his lips against my cheek.

"I'll try not to, Quill. Do…do you mind if I actually kiss your lips?" he asked hesitantly. I grinned slightly, looking up at him.

"I've already kissed you, Porthos…you can kiss me if you want," I replied. He smiled, before kissing my lips gently. I kissed him back, and he pulled away slightly a few moments later.

"So…are you going to rethink being my queenfriend?" he asked me. I smiled, brushing my paw along his cheek.

"Are you still offering?" I asked him softly.

"I am," he replied, smiling back at me.

"Do you honestly need me to say the words?" I asked him, raising an eyebrow slightly at him. I figured the answer would have been obvious to him.

"I'd like you to. The words would be nice to hear after how long I've waited," Porthos replied, looking at me, still with his faint grin.

"Alright then, I'll be your queenfriend. I'd be glad to," I said softly, smiling broadly up at him. He grinned openly, before kissing me again.

"Thanks, Quil," he said, looking quite happy as he pulled away from me. I continued smiling happily as I held him tightly.

"How long do you think we'll be alone?" I asked him softly, grinning slightly as I looked up at him. I almost wanted to have a true make-out session with him, yet not really if someone could walk in and interrupt us.

"TEMPTRESS!" I heard Luc scream from the other side of the cathedral. Porthos and I looked over sharply, having had jumped about a foot in surprise, before looking back at each other.

"Did he just call you…?"

"I believe he did, if I heard him correctly…"

"Why on earth?"

"I have no clue…" I replied. Porthos smiled, shaking his head slightly, before hugging me tightly again. I hugged him back, before standing up slightly, going to wander around and look at the stained glass.

"Where are you going?" Porthos asked me, standing up next to me. I shrugged slightly as I smiled at him. "Well, you're going to need a big, strong tom to protect you from anyone who doesn't like you," he said confidently, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"Let me know when you see one then," I said with a grin as I teased him. He rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly.

"Ha, ha. Very funny. Also, to answer your earlier question, I don't know how long we will be," he said, still holding me close. I leaned my head on his shoulder gently, smiling.

"You seem to act almost older," I said softly, having noticed it with how he didn't seem to be as childish as he usually did. He smile also seemed slightly different than I remembered.

"I was on the streets after I left you. Got into fights, watched some cats get killed, went hungry most nights…I was forced to grow up and actually start acting more mature," he replied softly, looking down slightly as a shadow passed over his face.

"I'm sorry. I wish you would have come to stay in the Junkyard rather than avoid me," I said softly. He shrugged slightly, not looking back at me. Biting my lip softly, I turned his face to me, gently kissing his lips. Kissing me back deeper, he slowly pulled my body closer to his, and I gently held the back of his neck, responding in kind.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted this, Quil," Porthos said as he pulled away from me a moment later.

"I've probably have a good idea, if it's as much as I've been wanting to," I said, smiling softly.

"No Tanaquil, you don't," he said in a very un-Porthos-like manner. I looked at him, quite unsure of him, if it was even him and not someone masquerading as my Porthos.

"Porthos?" I asked softly, taking a step back from him and out of his arms. He smirked—something I never remember seeing from Porthos—and quickly with a bright flash momentarily blinding me, the Monster of Depravity stood in front of me. I stumbled backwards, falling to the ground, trying to get as far away from him as possible. My eyes were wide with fright, and I wondered how I couldn't see something like Macavity dressing up as Porthos earlier.

"Like the surprise?" he asked me. My mind was blank, and rather than trying to think of an appropriate answer, I said the first thing that came to mind:

"You kiss better than I thought you would."

Macavity stared at me for a moment as he processed what I said. Thinking back on it, I realize I probably should have taken that chance to run, yet I was still in too much shock to stand, let alone run.

"I…kiss better than you thought I would? Is that the first thing that you thought? Not 'Everlasting Cat, it's a killer!'?" he asked me. I nodded slightly, still crawling slowly away from him.

"It…it was the first coherent thought I had," I whispered softly before quickening my speed. Macavity rolled his eyes, and he quickly knelt down next to me, putting an arm over my chest. I scrambled out from under him, quickly picking up my speed, and stood up as I watched his crouched figure closely. "Where's Porthos?" I asked him.

"London with his sister at the Junkyard still. The Shadows prevented him from following you," Macavity replied as he stood back up. "Why do you shy away from me, Tanaquil? I'm not that repulsive, am I?"

"I don't know…I'm terrified of what you could do to me. You've killed, raped, and you won't leave me alone at all," I replied softly. He hissed softly, stepping towards me and pulling my face close to his.

"Do you  _want_ me to leave you alone?" he asked me softly. I stared into those unnatural eyes, debating which answer would keep me alive and relatively sane.

"No…no, I don't," I said softly a few minutes later. He smirked as he dropped his paw, and I quickly looked down at the ground, turning away from him slightly.

"Good. Then don't leave me again," he said, stepping towards me again as he wrapped his arms around my waist tightly, pressing his chest against my back. I closed my eyes, trying not to think about it too much, though a few words kept repeating themselves in my head:  _"Alright then, I'll be your queenfriend"_...

"I thought this was supposed to be a sanctuary…" I whispered softly, closing my eyes as I tried not to cry. There I was, having thought that I finally had my Porthos just to find out that it was Macavity the whole time. And I had  _liked_  it.

"That doesn't exactly work if the father's in my employ," Macavity whispered softly in my ear.

"Dominick?" I asked softly, realizing that Luc was too much of an idiotic fanatic to be of much use to him.

"You're a smart queen," he replied, nodding slightly.

"Figure. Dominick was the one who conviced Luc to let me stay. I was wondering how he seemed to know so much about me for being a Paris cat," I said softly. Macavity laughed softly, shaking his head.

"Dominick's from London also, Tanaquil. Now close your eyes, please. I don't want you to get sick," he said before tightening his grip around me. I cried out softly as my bruises and ribs started aching worse than ever. As I tried not to allow myself to hurt him in return, I was contemplating keeping my eyes open, just to make him mad. At the last second though, I closed them, deciding it wasn't worth getting sick just to make him mad.

"When—" I started, going to ask when I could open my eyes, yet he interrupted me.

"Hush. Just another minute, and then you'll be able to open them again," he murmured softly. I kept my eyes closed, unable to withhold a shudder as I felt his lips on my neck. "Now you can," he said. I opened my eyes, finding that I was standing outside the east entrance to the Junkyard.

"Thank you…" I whispered softly. Macavity nodded sharply, releasing me. I quickly took a few steps away from him, walking towards the entrance.

"Don't attempt to leave me again, my dear. Don't forget what you agreed to be, also," he called after me. My face paled as I realized everything he was probably going to want me to do, and that I had no chance of being free from him. My senses slowly faded so that I was barely aware of anything, not even Alonzo shaking me firmly, trying to get me to respond to him, before everything completely faded.

I shut down, unable to take the realization that I wouldn't be free from the Monster of Depravity.


	18. Chapter 18

I don't really remember anything from that time, other than some brief flashes of color. Really, it just seemed like I had fallen asleep, and I was waking up. Now that I think back on it, I'm really curious as to  _how_  I woke up…At any rate, my eyes opened some time after Macavity took me back to the junkyard, and the first thing I saw was an angry Misto glaring at Porthos.

"Misto?" I asked softly, my voice slightly hoarse, like I hadn't used it in a while. That explanation couldn't possibly work though, considering I had only been asleep overnight at most. Misto looked over at me, appearing utterly bewildered, which made even less sense than my hoarse voice.

"Tana?" he asked me softly, sounding slightly hesitant. I nodded, looking slightly, well, a lot confused.

"Who else would I be?" I asked him, sitting up slightly as I shrugged. That simple motion felt almost…wrong, somehow, like it wasn't really my body I was using. I wasn't sure how, yet I did. It was strange, and I was hoping Misto would be able to give me answers.

"Well, no one, yet…Tana, you've not responded to anything in the past month. Nothing," Misto said softly. I blinked slightly.

"What do you mean? It's not been a month…and I just passed out, right?" I asked him, wondering why he was playing a joke on me. Misto shook his head slightly.

"No…you've been, well…So, you've been awake, I guess, yet you've not responded to anything that was done to you. You didn't talk, you didn't laugh, nothing. We could barely get you to eat. It's been a month since you came back," Mistoffelees said softly, setting a paw on my shoulder. I took a deep breath, nodding slightly. There wasn't any reason why he would lie to me about something like this, so I opted to believe him.

"A whole month? Everlasting Cat…" I whispered softly, shaking my head slightly as I tried to comprehend the fact that I had indeed missed a month of my life. Misto nodded slightly, looking up at me.

"It scared me, and the Twins also…You were obviously alive and breathing, yet there weren't any thoughts or anything coming from your mind. It was like you were simply a puppet of Macavity's…" he said softly. I nodded, still struggling to take this in as well.

"I…I think I'm headed out…" I said softly, moving to stand up. As I stood up, I tripped slightly, my legs giving out from under me. Misto quickly caught me and I stood up, less shaky this time, and I pulled away from him.

"Need any help?" he asked softly. I shook my head slightly, taking a deep breath.

"I don't think so. I think I'll be fine," I said softly as I started walking out of the den, blinking as the bright sunlight hit my eyes. It momentarily blinded me, yet my eyes quickly adjusted as I glanced around, seeing several cats I knew looking up at me.

"Tanaquil?"

"Is she…"

"Possibly."

"Probably not though."

"Can she?"

"Who knows?"

"Tana!" Antha said, cutting off the flow of voices and comments. "What are you doing out here?" she asked softly as she stood in front of me. I blinked as I focused on her.

"She's not going to answer you, Antha. It's high time we gave up on her," Admetus said dismally, his voice sounding quite devoid of emotion. I blinked slightly as I looked over at him, before looking back at Antha.

"I'm out because I want to see my friends after what's apparently been a month…" I said slowly and hesitantly. This time the hushed voices stopped completely as every pair of eyes focused on me. I shrunk back slightly under the sudden scrutiny.

"She's awake?" Alonzo asked softly, walking over to me. I quickly looked down, not wanting to be the center of attention.

"Obviously…" I said, looking down at the ground as I felt his eyes on me. There was a moment of complete silence before several Jellicles ran up to me, hugging me tightly, one of whom was Demeter.

"We had thought he broke your mind…Thank the Everlasting Cat he didn't," she said, hugging me tightly. I took a deep breath, pulling away from them.

"I'll be fine, guys. Or, I'll be fine in a couple of days. Don't worry about me, I'm back," I said, holding my paws up to try and keep them away. A few moments later they had left, and I took a deep breath. Jemima quickly ran up to me, hugging me tightly. I stumbled slightly as I hugged her back. "Hi there, Jemima," I said softly.

"Guess what?" she said, pulling away as she bounced up and down slightly. I looked at her, slightly confused by her behavior.

"I have no clue, Jem. I've been a bit out of it," I said with a smile.

"I'm pregnant! I'm going to have a couple of kits!" she replied, still sounding quite excited. I was still slightly confused, though I smiled back at her.

"Who's the father?" I asked her, curious as to if she had gotten together with Coricopat, or if she had gotten together with another tom.

"Cori! You were right! We were absolutely perfect for each other. We found out last week," she said. I continued smiling, even though I thought it was slightly strange that she had decided to have kits when she was barely the same age as me.

"Well, I'm really happy for you," I told her, hugging her again.

"Thanks. I tried to tell you, yet…" she trailed off, looking away slightly. I nodded slightly.

"I'm sorry…I didn't exactly mean to disappe—"

I was cut off by a very familiar voice coming from behind me. I paled as I heard Porthos call out for me.

"Where is she? Quil!" he called, before I felt a pair of arms wrap around me. Porthos' arms. I immediately turned around to see his smiling face. The same smiling face I saw before it turned into Macavity. My eyes widened and I pulled away from him, taking a few steps away from him.

"Get away from me!" I said, well, I actually screamed it at him before running away. Antha and Jemima looked utterly shocked at my behavior, yet I didn't care. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to see Macavity. Porthos was Macavity, or, Macavity was Porthos at the very least. I couldn't risk getting caught by Macavity again.

"Quil! Quil, what's wrong? Mé!" I heard Porthos call out after me. I stumbled slightly at the mention of my old nickname, yet I quickly recovered and continued running away.

"Tana, stop," Admetus' safe voice said as his arms wrapped around me, stopping my run. I looked over at him, sighing softly.

"Hi there, Ad…" I said softly as I looked at him, not pulling away. I took a deep breath, sighing slightly. "How have your nights been, Ad?"

"Hard…" he said softly, looking down at me. I looked down, feeling slightly guilty, even though I didn't have anything to do with it.

"How bad has it been?" I asked softly, looking back up at him.

"There's been several dozen pollicle attacks. And Macavity visited the yard every other night as well…" he said, sighing as he rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes tightly. I noticed that he still hadn't moved his other arm from around my waist. "I was also trying to watch you as often as I could, in case Mac slipped past Munk." I looked down, sighing faintly.

"I'm sorry for…disappearing…" I said softly as I sat down. He sat down with me, keeping his arm around my waist.

"That's nothing to be sorry about. It's not like you wanted to, I'm sure," he said softly, pulling me close. I sighed, shrugging slightly as I curled up.

"I shouldn't have let Macavity get to me though. Should have been stronger than that…" I said softly, not looking up at him. He sighed and pulled me even closer so that I was sitting on his lap now. I didn't mind much though, considering it actually felt nice.

"What did he do, Tana?" he asked me softly. I took a deep breath as I thought back to it, though it didn't take much effort on my part.

"I refused to obey him, so he beat me pretty badly, and I left the country. Went to Paris. He followed me, or his spy at Notre Dame told him I was there, and he disguised himself as Porthos…we got close, and…" I trailed off, not wanting to say anything more. Admetus nodded slightly.

"If it helps, he fooled all of us here that he was Old D once or twice," he said softly. I shrugged slightly, not finding it very comforting. Taking a deep breath I wrapped my arms around him, simply holding him close. Out of everything in the world, I simply wanted to be safe, something that I thought Ad was.

We sat there for a few minutes, until my ear twitched slightly at a sound akin to scraping gravel. I forced myself not to turn as I tried to ignore the interruption.

"Quil?" I heard Porthos say from a few feet behind me. My body tensed, and I quickly buried my face in Ad's chest, muttering softly to myself. I didn't want to see him, didn't want to take the chance that he was Macavity in disguise. "Quil, what's wrong?" he asked me, touching a paw to my shoulder. Yelping softly, I jerked away from him, pressing up tighter against Admetus.

"Go away!" I said, not wanting him anywhere near me.

"What?" His voice sounded shocked, or maybe surprised. I didn't know, or care, which one it actually was.

Admetus wrapped his arms tighter around me, more protective now, as he sheltered me from this threat from Porthos I imagined. "She told you to go away, Porthos," Ad said, his voice sounding cold and harsh for the first time I had known him.

"Oh…alright then," Porthos replied, his voice sounding dismal and hollow. I almost felt bad for him.

Ad sighed softly, hugging me close before pulling his arms away from me. "You realize you're going to have to talk to him sooner or later…"

I nodded slightly. "Yeah. I know, yet I'm hoping that it's later…Hopefully in a few years I'll talk to him," I replied softly, leaning against his chest with my head on his shoulder.

"Tana…" he breathed with a sigh, before wrapping his arms around me again. I sighed also, closing my eyes. "I'm going to have to leave soon," he whispered in my ear softly a few moments later. Sighing again, I nodded. It  _was_ getting close to nightfall, and Ad needed to help the strays out.

"I know…can I stay in your den, even though you won't be there?" I asked him softly, not wanting to be forced to stay with the Twins or, Everlasting Cat forbid, Antha and Porthos.

"No, I don't think it'd be best. I'll take you to Misto's place," he said softly. I nodded sadly, standing up carefully before offering him a paw. He took it, standing up as he smiled faintly at me. I tried to smile back at him, not really wanting to go to Misto's den, considering its close proximity to the clearing and, by extension, most of the Jellicles around.

"Thanks…" I said softly as we started walking towards Misto's den. He shrugged slightly, not looking at me, though he was looking everywhere else. "What's wrong?" I asked him softly.

"Nothing…just worried that Macavity's heard of your waking up…" he said softly, glancing at me briefly. I nodded slightly, understanding him.

"Makes sense…He'll have heard about it by tonight though, Ad. Considering his spies are here, and they report to him every night…" I said softly. Ad looked at me sharply.

"How do you know that?" he asked me softly. I looked at him, mildly confused, considering I could have sworn that he knew I was spying for Macavity.

"Well…it makes sense if he's got spies here," I said softly, glancing down at the ground for a moment. Ad continued looking at me, before nodding slightly. I smiled faintly at him, and he relaxed slightly.

"I really shouldn't be so paranoid…" he said softly, smiling back at me. I nodded as I hugged him gently.

"No, you shouldn't. I'm glad we're friends, Ad," I said softly as I pulled away from him. Hi smile froze slightly, appearing more forced now, as he nodded stiffly.

"I am too, Tana," he said as we continued walking. I didn't really know what to say after that, so we remained silent. It was nice that it didn't seem much like an awkward silence, though, as we continued walking down the winding paths. Simply being close to Ad was nice, something that I had missed over the course of my disappearance and the time beforehand.

"Thanks for escorting me, Ad," I said, smiling up at him as we stood outside the den. He nodded, smiling back at me as he squeezed my hand gently.

"You're more than welcome, Tana. Anytime you want someone around, don't hesitate to ask me," Ad replied. I nodded back at him, and he leaned forward slightly.

"Tana? You're awake?" I heard Plato say from beside me. Ad took a few hasty steps away from me as he looked over at him. I glanced over, my smile fading slightly.

"Yeah. I'm awake finally," I replied softly. He nodded as he looked me over, taking what looked like a shaky breath. I looked back at him, taking a deep breath also, secretly wondering if he would tell Macavity of this news. He'd have to though, considering if the Monster of Depravity found out through another means, Plato was as good as dead.

"Your fur needs grooming. Let's hope you aren't as much of a helpless kit this time," he said, quickly gaining a teasing tone as he grinned cheekily. I smiled faintly also, nodding.

"Hopefully, though I think I might always act like a kit in some respects," I replied. He nodded before quickly walking away from me. I took a deep breath, looking back up at Ad.

"Go on. I need to head out anyways. I'll talk to you tomorrow, Tana," he said, motioning for me to go into the den. He added something softly, something I couldn't make out, yet I nodded and walked into the den rather than asking him what it was.

"Hi there, Tanie," Misto said softly, not looking up from the small tin cup he was focusing hard on. I smiled broadly as I looked down at him, the familiar feeling of extreme attraction warming me slightly as I sat down next to him.

"Hi, Misto," I replied, still smiling as I leaned close to him. "What are you doing?" I asked him softly, leaning slightly close to him.

"Trying not to kill Plato for talking to you. I don't know why he's bothered to stick around, considering he works for Macavity. He was the only Jellicle not hurt when Macavity tried to steal you," Misto replied, his tone sharp and unforgiving. I looked at him, wondering why Ad hadn't told me about this part.

"When'd he try to steal me?" I asked softly. Misto looked up at me, almost sadly, taking a deep breath.

"About three days after we realized you shut down. He came that night with about three of his best fighters, said that he simply wanted you and wouldn't hurt us if we gave you to him. We refused, and there was a nasty fight…" Misto told me softly, rubbing his collarbone almost unconsciously. I looked at him for a moment, before hesitantly touching that spot. It felt like there was a thin scar exactly where the fur didn't lay flat.

"I didn't mean for you to get hurt, Misto…I don't  _want_ you to get hurt…" I said softly, not looking at him as I smoothed his jet black fur down, trying to get it to lay flat. He shrugged slightly, not looking up at me either.

"I actually got off pretty easy, especially compared to some of the other toms," he said softly. I looked up at his face, wondering what he meant. None of the toms looked all that bad when I had last seen them.

"Who's the worst off then?" I asked him softly. He took a deep breath, his eyes growing darker.

"Lonz. He lost an eye. Couldn't save it at all, no matter how much magic we used. He looks just fine, except for the fact that he's got a scar along the left side of his face," Misto replied softly. I took a deep breath, nodding slightly as I tried to comprehend what must have happened.

"Why?" I asked him softly after a minute had passed. My eyes didn't stray from the stray piece of glitter that was catching the weak light as I waited for the answer.

"I like you, Tanie…I'd do anything to try and protect you. Most of us would," Misto replied softly after another lengthy pause. I nodded silently as I took a deep breath again. Glancing up at him, I saw his eyes go from their contemplative look to a suddenly dull and nearly lifeless look. "I'm going to get us some food," he said mechanically as he walked out of the den.

"Misto?" I asked him softly as I stood up, wondering why he was acting like that. Guardedly, I walked up to the door, hoping I would see him walking back towards me, or a familiar face walking up.

Well, I was right on the familiar face.

Macavity's ginger face appeared in the doorway, barely three inches away from mine. Instantly, I took several steps away from him, trying to get away from that face of his. It didn't work, however, considering he simply followed me closely. I finally fell back onto a bed, staring fearfully into the Monster of Depravity's face.

"Hello there, dear…You don't seem very happy to see me…" he said faintly as he sat down next to me, trailing his paws with those wicked claws on them across my stomach. The muscles contracted as I tried not to allow the bloodstained claw to break my skin.

"I…I see you've fully gotten past Demeter…I wasn't expecting you to find me so soon," I whispered softly as I closed my eyes, refusing to look up at him. I didn't want to be around him, didn't even want to hear his voice.

"Oh, I got past Demeter weeks ago, Tanaquil…I found something much prettier to fix my attention on," he replied softly, trailing his claw up on my sternum. My breathing hitched slightly, and I felt him move closer to me. He was probably lying next to me at this point.

"Thanks for the compliment, I guess…" I whispered softly, trying to keep my heart rate at a normal tempo. It wasn't working well, especially when I could feel Macavity's soft exhales against my ear.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Tanaquil…" he murmured softly in my ear. I could only nod slightly, unable to trust that my voice wouldn't betray me and simply let go of the sobs that I was feeling. This was the tom that ruined any chance of a normal-ish life I could lead as a Jellicle. In fact, I wouldn't put it past him to have arranged for me to come to London in the first place.

"I don't believe that, Macavity. I believe you cracked a couple ribs, dislocated my shoulder and fractured several other bones over the course of our acquaintance," I told him coolly. He simply sighed softly, and he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close against him. I shuddered, trying not to think too much about the position we were in.

"That's only physical, and your conjuror friend seems to have healed those up quite nicely," he said softly. I shrugged slightly.

"What about disguising yourself as Porthos?" I asked him, barely breathing the words. I felt his grip around me tighten, and I let out a soft cry, even though I didn't want to.

"That was merely a means to an end. Though I believe Misto's coming back, so I've got to go, dear," Macavity replied softly as he pulled away from me. I opened my eyes again, and watched as he walked to the door. "And I wouldn't get close to any toms, if you want them safe…And I'll be sure to be back again." I nodded feebly as I watched him walk out. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, I curled up, hoping Misto would come back soon.

"Tanie! Everlasting Cat, Tanie!" I heard Misto's panicked voice say from outside the den no more than a minute after Macavity had left. I looked up from my position on his bed, and saw Misto rush in. He breathed a sigh of relief as his eyes locked with mine, and he walked over to me, kneeling down next to the bed.

"Hi, Misto…" I whispered softly as I looked at him. He touched my paw hesitantly.

"I didn't feel Macavity's presence until just now…I don't know why I was outside in the first place, yet I came running back," he said softly. I nodded slightly.

"It's alright, Misto. He probably influenced your mind…your eyes seemed to go slightly dull," I said softly. Misto nodded slightly as he looked over me.

"Did he hurt you?" he asked me softly, looking back into my eyes. I shook my head, sitting up straighter as I looked down.

"No…I'm perfectly fine physically. Worse off emotionally though," I replied softly. Misto nodded, sitting next to me.

"What happened?" he asked me, speaking calmly, obviously trying not to make me worse and potentially cause me to shut down again. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone treaded softly around me to make sure that I didn't shut down again. It annoyed me slightly, considering I didn't exactly appreciate how they treated me like a china doll.

"Nothing, really. Macavity walked in, talked, realized you were coming back, and left. Nothing at all. Just some psychological torture with holding me close," I said softly, looking down at the ground. Mistoffelees nodded slightly.

"I'll tell Munk that Mac got in when I see him next," he said softly before hesitantly wrapping his arms around me. I looked down at his jet black fur, smiling bitterly as I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"I doubt he'll help me," I told him, thinking about how easily he had let Macavity slip in the first time. Misto shook his head slightly.

"No…he's got a couple of scars on his arms from trying to protect you from Macavity," Misto replied. I shook my head slightly, not believing it.

"Anything happen to Porthos?" I asked him, wanting to change the subject. He tensed slightly, before shrugging.

"Dislocated shoulder and a torn ear. Nothing much in comparison to most other Jellicles," he replied. I nodded slightly, even though that didn't seem like 'nothing much', even though much worse had happened to others. I remembered my dislocated shoulder, which still had phantom pain sometimes.

"Oh…alright then. I guess it could be worse then," I said softly, trying to think of something else I could say to continue the conversation.

"I'm sorry, by the way. I should have protected you better, Tanie," Misto replied softly as he looked down at me a few moments later. I sighed slightly, shaking my head.

"No, Misto. I should have trusted you guys to protect me. If I had, I wouldn't have gone to Paris and this whole thing would have been prevented," I told him, wrapping my arms around his slim black body, hugging him tightly. Misto stiffened again before pulling away from me and taking a few steps away from me.

"I don't think this will work out, Tanie. You should probably leave," he said suddenly.

"Misto? What's wrong?" I asked him softy, not expecting him to act like this. I hadn't really ever seen him act like this, especially around me. He hadn't ever told me to leave, and especially not so brusquely.

"Nothing, Tanie. I just can't do this. Go find someone else to stay with," he said as he pointed a paw out the door. I looked at the door, before looking back at him.

"Is this because I shut down for the past month?" I asked him, not moving closer to the door. Misto sighed, before gently pushing me towards the door.

"Partly. Now, Tanie, I think it might be best for you to leave…" he whispered softly looking down at the ground as he kept trying to make me leave. I moved away from his hand, and looked up at him.

"Keep me awake, Misto! If it's because I shut down, keep me awake and don't push me away," I replied, trying not to start crying. I didn't want to leave Misto at all. I didn't want to leave one of the only cats who was nice to me.

"No, Tanie. I can't let you stay here when it'll only cause you pain. I don't love you, Tanie," he said, though his voice broke slightly with the last sentence. I looked at him, trying to understand his actions.

"What?"

"Go away, Tanie!" Misto snapped, before turning away from me. I tripped out the door, trying to ignore the sobs that I was sure was coming from lips.


	19. Chapter 19

I sat down in the corner of the clearing, my arms wrapped tightly around myself as I tried not to think about how much heartbreak hurt. It was stupid for me to think that Misto might actually like me in return, considering only one boy had done that since, and I was ripped away from him. Brutally, too. I still missed Jonathan at times, considering I had almost managed to be someone's girlfriend for the first time. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes so that I wouldn't be forced to see Jemima kissing Cori across the clearing.

"Tana?" I heard a soft voice say from beside me. I looked up to see Antha standing there, looking at me concernedly. I tried to smile slightly, yet it didn't work very well.

"Hi there, Antha…" I whispered softly, realizing that my voice sounded utterly depressed. She sighed slightly, and sat down next to me, wrapping her arms around me.

"What happened?" she asked softly. I took a deep breath, shrugging slightly.

"Misto said he didn't love me, and that I couldn't stay with him any more…" I replied, leaning my head on her shoulder. Antha nodded slightly as she hugged me tightly.

"I'm sorry, Tana. There's other toms that would be better for you," she said softly. I laughed bitterly.

"Like who? Macavity?"

"I was thinking more so Lonz, Porthos or Ad…"

"Ad?"

"Yeah…he was with you almost every day when you shut down…." Antha told me softly. I nodded slightly, not quite believing that he would take so much time out, simply for me.

"That's…that's interesting… "I said softly. Antha nodded.

"Yeah…he was really depressed when you left for France and didn't tell him. If I didn't know better, I'd have said he likes you…" she replied. I nodded slightly, wishing that I didn't have now three toms that I really liked.

"Oh…that's interesting…" I said softly, simply to keep the conversation going. Antha nodded, taking a deep breath.

"If thought that you two were meeting each other, considering you would both leave every night. I guess that wasn't exactly right, considering Mac announced to the whole tribe that you were working for him," she said. I looked up at her, slightly confused.

"Really? If he did, then why did Ad seem so surprised when I mentioned it?" I asked softly. She shrugged slightly.

"He was probably off that night doing whatever he does," she told me. I nodded slightly, taking a deep breath.

"That makes sense…He goes off most nights to do something…" I said softly. "How's…how's Porthos?"

"Heartbroken that you won't look at him. He doesn't understand why you're not talking to him, considering you two pretty much confessed your feelings towards each other before you left. There's no reason as to why it should have changed," Antha replied, shrugging slightly. I nodded, not wanting to tell her the reason as to why I was avoiding him.

"Yeah…I probably should apologize to him…" I said softly, knowing that I probably wouldn't, even though it would be the best option. Antha nodded, and I turned slightly as I heard someone clear their throat on the other side of me. I turned to look at the person, and saw Munkustrap, the fearless protector of the Junkyard standing there, looking almost apologetic.

"Tana…" he started gently, yet I cut him off.

"Tana?" I asked coldly, pulling away from Antha as I stood to face him.

"Well, it's your name, isn't it?" he asked, sounding slightly confused as his face mirrored his tone .I took a deep breath, trying to calm down so that I wouldn't blow up at him, yet I knew it didn't work as I started to reply.

"It's my name  _only_ for my friends. You? How  _dare_ you act like you're my friend when you royally screwed up my life?" I asked, my tone sharp and scathing.

"Tana," he said, trying to calm me down as he put a paw on my shoulder. I pulled away quickly, batting his silver arm away from me.

"Don't you dare act like you care for me and all, considering it took you nearly  _two_ kitnappings, a week of me spying on you guys for Macavity,  _and_ a trip to France to protect myself! I nearly  _died_  trying to protect some of the people here, and you sure as hell didn't help me! I felt safer out of the country, rather than here, and it's all thanks to you, Munkustrap!" I said, not caring that I was shouting this for the whole junkyard to hear. Munkustrap needed to know this, yet when he didn't even look apologetic, I hissed softly and punched him in the face. His face snapped to the side as he stumbled back slightly.

"Tanaquil! How dare you try to hurt Munkustrap! That is nottolerated here," Old Deuteronomy said, his large figure cutting a path in the small crowd that had assembled. I looked up at him, glaring fiercely.

"How dare I hurt him? I want retribution for getting my shoulder dislocated, my ribs cracked, arm broken, and more that will probably happen to me as I try to stay away from Macavity? How dare I? I dare because your bastard son isn't doing his fuckin' job! He's supposed to be the protector, yet he doesn't even do that stupid job!" I said, still shouting. I figured I would end up shouting until I was hoarse today.

"Language, Tana," Old D said, his voice darkly low and dangerous. I didn't back down though as I continued glaring at the ancient cat.

"No, father. She's right," Munkustrap said softly as he stood up slightly. My glare was redirected at him. I wondered what he could possibly have to say for himself. He turned back towards me. "Tanaquil, I wanted to apologize for everything that I had done, and everything Macavity did also. I let your past get in the way, and I shouldn't have let that happen. It wasn't right at all, and I apologize for that. Can you ever forgive me for my past mistakes?" I thought about it for a minute before shaking my head.

"No. I don't believe I can," I replied darkly as I looked up at him. He stared at me, obviously shocked, and I turned around, deciding to hide out in Ad's den for the night. I didn't want to stay with Lonz, and I couldn't stay with Misto, and you couldn't pay me enough to spend the night with Tanto. So, I ran to Ad's den,even though he had probably left already for GRC duties.

I walked in, jumping slightly as I saw Ad slipping his gloves on. "Oh…Ad…I didn't know you would be here…" I said softly. He glanced back, smiling faintly even though he looked slightly confused.

"Why would you think I wouldn't be here? This is sorta where I live, Tana," he said. I shook my head slightly as I walked in farther.

"I just figured you would have left by now, considering we parted ways almost a half-hour ago…" I said, shrugging slightly. He paused as he picked up what looked like hair gel, before looking in a mirror as he spiked his headfur up.

"Yeah…I got slightly distracted before starting to get ready…" he said softly. I nodded slightly as I hesitantly sat down on the couch.

"Oh…alright then…" I said softly, hoping he wouldn't notice me simply staying there rather than leaving.

"Why aren't you with Misto, Tana?" he asked me, after wiping his paws off on a towel. I shrugged slightly as I looked down at the ground.

"No reason, really…" I said softly, wishing he hadn't thought of that. It still hurt that I was kicked out of his den.

"Tana."

"He kicked me out. Said he didn't love me so it wouldn't work out…" I said softly, thinking it sounded quite pathetic. Ad nodded slightly as he sat down next to me, holding my paw gently. I smiled slightly at the gesture, and I looked up at him, wondering what he was thinking.

"Tana…you really shouldn't stay here," he said softly, even though I could hear the reluctance in his voice.

"Can I though? I don't want to stay anywhere else, really…" I said softly.

"There's always Lonz. You don't have to stay with Porthos," he told me softly. I sighed slightly, shaking my head.

"Please, Ad? Macavity came back, and I don't feel safe anywhere other than here," I told him softly. Ad sighed before nodding slightly.

"Alright, Tana. You can stay here. I'll give you the bed, considering I never use it," he whispered softly as he stood up, pulling a blanket and a pillow out from under the couch and handing it to me. I nodded slightly as I took it, holding it close.

"Thanks, Ad," I said softly as I stood up next to him. He nodded slightly, taking my paw again lightly.

"You're welcome, Tana. I'll tell you that hippos are purple when I get back so that you know it's me," he replied softly as he squeezed my paw gently. I smiled up at him, and he leaned slightly closer to me, before turning and leaving.

"Oh…bye Ad…" I whispered softly after he disappeared from sight. Utterly confused, I went to the back room, set the pillow on the bed, and crawled under the blanket, tightly curled up as I fell asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

"Morning, dear," his familiar voice said, pulling me uncomfortably quickly out of my perfect dream world. I shuddered as I felt his arms around my waist, and I kept my eyes closed tightly, thinking that if I didn't move, he would think that I was still asleep and he would simply leave me alone. He didn't move though, and I took a deep, shaky breath.

"Please don't touch me…" I whispered softly, pulling away from him slightly.

"Alright then, dear," he whispered in my ear softly as he pulled his arm away from me. I stayed still for a few more minutes, not hearing him say anything else, and I opened my eyes, turning to face the room. He wasn't standing there; there wasn't even any indication that he had been there. I stood up on the bed, slightly unsteady on the soft surface, and looked around, trying to find some sign that he had been there. Someone walked into the den, and I sat down again, thinking it would have to be Macavity coming back.

"Tana? You still here?" Ad's voice said, drifting in from the main room.

"I'm still here in the bedroom," I called back hesitantly, not sure if Macavity would find me rather than Admetus. Ad's face appeared in the doorway, smiling at me. He walked in, still half-way through peeling the second skin of his GRC costume off of his body.

"I would have figured you would have left already…and hippos are purple, too" he said softly as he tossed the GRC costume off to the side. I nodded slightly, not caring much about the hippo comment, before standing up and running over to him, hugging him tightly.

"Macavity was here this morning. I don't know how he left without leaving a trace though," I said softly, not moving, even though Ad had stiffened at my touch. He nodded curtly, gently lifting my face up to look at him.

"When this morning?" he asked me softly. I took a deep, slightly shaking breath as I thought about it.

"Just a couple of minutes before you walked in," I replied softly, looking back into his eyes. He nodded slightly as he glanced around.

"You're sure? You actually  _saw_ him here?" he asked me after a moment.

"Well…no…I heard him and felt his arm around me. He woke me up," I replied, looking down. Ad nodded as he pulled away from me gently, and he looked around the room, even looking under the bed. I sat down on the bed, wrapping my arms around myself.

"Tana…there's nothing here that tells me he was here…" he whispered softly as he sat down next to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I leaned against him, my eyes closed tight.

"He was here, I know it. He was here just now, and he was there just before Misto kicked me out," I said softly. Ad hugged me tightly, and I buried my face in his shoulder, barely stopping myself from crying.

"Tana…maybe this last time was just a dream. Just a nightmare…nothing more," he whispered softly. I shook my head slightly, not wanting it to be as simple as that.

"No…it was real…it has to be…" I said softly, not wanting to think that was wrong. If that was just a dream, then how much more of her life was simply a dream? Could this whole ordeal of being a Jellicle be simply a dream?

"Tana…I could be wrong," he said softly. I nodded slightly, still holding him tightly. He took a deep breath, squeezing me gently for a minute.

"I know…" I whispered softly, not looking up at him.

"You're probably going to need to head off to Misto or Lon's den. I need to get some sleep, and I don't want you to be alone," he told me, seeming to try to be stern.

"I don't want to leave you, Ad…I feel safe, and better about the world, and I just like being with you…" I said softly, holding onto him tighter. He closed his eyes, nodding slightly as he hugged me tightly.

"Please, Tana…just this once," he said softly, breathing the words into my ear. I took a deep breath, before nodding slightly.

"Alright then, Ad. I'll find Lonz and stay with him," I said softly, even though I didn't move. Admetus sighed softly, looking down at my arms.

"You have to let go of me, Tana," he said softly. I nodded and took a deep breath before slowly letting go of him.

"Bye then…" I whispered softly as I stood up and walked out of the den.

"Tana?" I heard Ad say just as I stepped out of the den. I paused and turned towards him.

"What is it?" I asked him curiously. He looked at me for a moment before taking a breath. I waited to hear what he was going to say, yet he shook his head.

"Don't worry about it, Tana…" he said softly. I nodded slightly, even though I still wanted to know, and walked out towards the clearing. Most of the Jellicles were milling about there, and I hung around the edges, not really wanting to be much in the center of the limelight yet again.

"I thought you weren't going to be out in the open, Tan," Alonzo said as he walked up to me. I shrugged slightly as I glanced up at him.

"Well, I can't exactly hide for the rest of my life," I told him softly, my thoughts mostly occupied with speculating as to what Ad was going to tell me.

"You sure tried to earlier," he muttered. I turned to look at him, sighing slightly.

"I'm sorry about your eye, Alonzo, yet I didn't exactly  _mean_ to shut down," I replied, trying not to get too mad at him. He rolled his eyes.

"I'm still half blind because you weren't strong enough to cope with whatever happened to you," he replied coldly. I blinked slightly before glaring at him hard after the words were processed.

"Not strong enough? Do you even know what happened to me?" I asked him, just as coldly, not able to believe that he'd judge me without even knowing what had happened to me.

"Sure. You saw a means to power as you looked at Macavity. You thought you could help him while securing a high position of power. After that, you ended up getting too far deep—he probably wanted to sleep with you—and you tried to pull out. He didn't like that, and probably gave you some major mental abuse in punishment. Rather than living with the consequences, you shut down," Alonzo said. I hissed softly, turning and pinning him to the junkyard pile.

"That is not what happened! Macavity approached me, told me to either spy for him, or he would kill Mistoffelees and Porthos. I reluctantly agreed and for a week I spied on the Jellicles. I couldn't take it after that, and I snapped at him, refusing to tell him anything and disobeying every order he gave me. As a result I decided it would be safest for me to leave the country. I ran to Paris on a train, hoping to escape from him. I went to Notre Dame, and found sanctuary. After being forced to head out into the city, I saw Porthos. Flash forward a night, and Porthos was still there. I thought it was a miracle from Heavyside, and then Macavity revealed that he had been Porthos all along. I had made out with the Napoleon of Crime, and had wanted to go  _farther_ , Alonzo!" I said, well aware of how my claws were almost piercing his skin. He pushed me away, glaring at me.

"I'm sure, Tanaquil. Have fun convincing everyone else of that. I know you've got your precious little Ad convinced of that," he muttered before turning away. Sighing, I leaned my head back as I leaned against the junk pile, knowing that I'd have to tell Ad what happened to me. I was having a wonderful time losing several cats as friends. It made for the perfect life, especially when added to having to deal with the effects of whatever happened to my reputation when I shut down.

"Hi there, Tana," a soft voice said as the pure white Victoria walked over to me, sitting down next to me.

"Oh, hi Victoria. I haven't seen you in a while," I replied, smiling faintly up at the queen. She looked at me, before sighing slightly.

"You're in the middle of tom troubles, right?" she asked me. I blinked slightly at her, before slowly shaking my head.

"I wasn't, until just now," I said, sighing slightly, realizing that I had those as well as all my other problems, what with Misto hating me, and me still liking a tom that I was also slightly scared of.

"Oh…what's wrong then?" she asked me softly. I sighed again, wondering how to explain it.

"Well, Lonz and Misto hate me, I still really like Misto, and I think I might really like Ad and then I've really liked Porthos since before I shut down. My life's just wonderful right now," I said, looking down at the ground. Victoria nodded slightly as she put a very thoughtful expression on her face.

"Well…I can't help with the Lonz and Misto issue, yet you really shouldn't like Misto now if he hates you. And, well, with Porthos and Ad, choose the second one, considering if you really loved the first, you wouldn't' have fallen for the second," she replied. I nodded slightly, before smiling and standing up.

"That…that really makes sense. Thanks for helping me, Vic," I said, smiling slightly as I thought about that. She looked faintly surprised before smiling and nodding.

"I'm glad to help," she replied. I nodded and ran off, needing to tell Ad that I really liked him. I could only hope that he liked me back. The trail to his den seemed impossibly long, and I wasn't really paying attention when I ran into a tall, thin, ginger cat. I paled as I looked up into Macavity's face.

"Really? Again?" I asked softly, sighing as I seemed to deflate slightly. Macavity grinned slightly, pulling me close to his body. I grimaced slightly as I felt his body tight against mine.

"I thought I told you not to get close to any toms," he said softly as he looked down at me. I shook my head slightly, sighing.

"I haven't though, Macavity," I replied softly. He grinned cruelly before shaking his head back at me.

"You weren't wanting to keep it that way," he replied softly, gently caressing the side of my face. I bit my tongue, trying to keep silent as I also tried not to think about the prolonged contact.

"I'm sorry then, yet I'm going to continue to see Ad, Macavity. Now, if you could please leave, I'll probably see you later," I replied, trying to pull away from him. Macavity's grip didn't loosen though, and I was still stuck in his embrace.

"Do you not like my company, dear?" he asked softly. I shook my head quickly.

"No, I don't, so please let go of me. There's no reason for you to be here," I replied. He chuckled softly under his breath.

"I believe a tom has a right to see his queen friend," he said softly. I clenched my paws into fists tightly, trying not to start retching at that thought.

"You'll see me most nights, probably, if it keeps you away from here…" I said softly, looking down at the ground. Macavity nodded slightly as he leaned close to my ear.

"I'll expect you at sundown," he said softly before kissing my cheek gently. There was a sharp pain in my shoulder blade, and Macavity disappeared with a crack of lightning. I took a deep breath, touching my paw to my shoulder, and inhaled sharply as it came back red and bloody. A shuddering breath later, I was quickly trying to make my way to Jenny's den so that she could help bandage the cut that refused to stop bleeding. I was having a hard time not collapsing due to the fact that I was still bleeding, yet I stumbled into Jenny's den.

"Tana! I didn't expect to see you here. How did you know where the medical den was?" Jenny asked me as she led me to a bed. I took a deep breath, shrugging slightly.

"I'm not sure, yet I met up with Macavity. He cut me, and it doesn't want to stop bleeding," I replied. She nodded as she picked up some gauze and bandages, walking over to me.

"It's a nasty cut he gave you, yet it shouldn't need stitches at all," she told me as she started wrapping my shoulder up. I nodded, glad for that, and looked down at the floor. I despised Macavity, yet I saw no way out of being stuck with him.

"Thank you, Jenny," I replied softly as she stepped away from me. She shrugged slightly as she started gathering the gauze and things up.

"It's what I do, Tana. Feel free to stay here as long as you wish," she replied. I nodded slightly as I leaned back against the pillows, closing my eyes as I tried to think about whether I should find Admetus now, or wait until he might be awake.

I stood up a few minutes later, deciding to talk to Ad now, rather than later on. It would simply make me feel better to know if he liked me one way or another, which was better sooner. Maybe he'd let me stay at his place easier if he knew that I really liked him.

"Look what the cat dragged in…" a wonderfully condescending voice said from above me. I sighed and looked up to see that scarlet queen who had never liked me at all.

"Ah. Hello, Bomba," I said softly as I glanced back down at the ground. She jumped down from her position lightly, walking beside me. I always hated standing next to her, considering it always made me seem especially short. I believe I was almost a head shorter than her.

"So, how is our resident whore doing?" she asked me, her voice sounding quite pleasant, even though I hated the words.

"I'm not a whore, Bomba. Everyone knows  _you_ are though," I replied simply as I continued walked, wanting to go find Ad still. It was getting annoying with all the interruptions I was getting. I didn't think it was such an outlandish wish, especially considering I had spent so much time with him earlier in the day.

"Now, Tana, don't be so bitter. There's enough room for two whores here in the junkyard," she said, her pleasant tone sounding more forced at this point. I rolled my eyes, sighing slightly.

"Of course there is, otherwise you wouldn't be able to sleep with Tugger every other night," I said, quite enjoying baiting her like this, even though I would never actually admit it. Her shocked gasp was a good reward, though the slap across my face—with her claws extended—wasn't as enjoyed.

"Bomba! Why'd you do that?" Jemima asked, rushing over to us. I glanced over at her, touching my paw to my cheek, wondering if it was actually bleeding or not. It wasn't, yet it still stung. Bomba lifted her head up, that superior expression on her face.

"She's a whore. Simple as that," she said before stalking off. I sighed as she walked away, quite annoyed with how she was acting, and the fact that she was calling me a whore. It wasn't very nice, and it was quite impossible for me to be one.

"I'm sorry about that, Tana. I don't know why she hates you so much," Jemima said, also sighing. I shrugged slightly, not particularly worried about how bitchy she was.

"I don't really care. I've been called worse," I replied, even though worse names didn't come to mind. Jemima looked at me, before shrugging slightly.

"How's life treating you?" she asked me. I shrugged again.

"Fine, I guess. Not liking some of it, though," I replied. She looked at me strangely.

"Yet I'm going—"

"Yes, Jemima, you're going to have Cori's kits. I know that, and I'm happy for you and him. However, my life's not nearly that wonderful," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Oh…I'm sorry to hear that then…And I'm sorry for acting so happy, I guess," she replied softly, looking down at the ground. I quickly looked slightly horrified. I hadn't meant to make her sad.

"No! No, it's fine, Jem. I'm just spreading my annoyed mood over everything. I like that someone's happy around here," I told her quickly. She smiled up at me, nodding slightly.

"Alright then, Tana. I'll try to ignore your annoyed mood," she said brightly. I grinned, shaking my head slightly.

"Sounds like a good idea," I replied, before looking up at Munkustrap, who had walked up behind Jemima. He glanced at his daughter, before motioning for me to follow him. "I'll see you later, Jem." Jemima nodded, and I quickly followed after Munk, wondering what he wanted to talk to me about.

"Tanaquil," he said as he turned towards me. I raised an eyebrow, silently inviting him to continue. "You're staying with Alonzo tonight. No questions asked."

"No questions? Well, let me tell you something, I won't. I can't," I replied simply, crossing my arms as I looked up at him.

"You will, considering there's no one safer, other than me," he said. I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"I won't, or else Macavity will attack you. I'm willing to bet my life on it. I told him I would see him tonight by sundown, so he's going to panic and want me back," I told him. He took a carefully measured breath through his nose, seemingly to calm down.

"So you have agreed to see him," he said slowly. I nodded slightly.

"It's the only reason why he hasn't attacked," I replied softly, glancing behind Munk as I noticed Cori and Tanto walked up behind him.

"I strictly forbid you from seeing him. You will stay with Cori and Tanto, and they will use any means necessary to keep you away from him," Munk said before walking away. I sighed, and looked up at Cori.

"Congratulations, by the way. I hear you've got kits with Jemima," I said dismally as I smiled faintly at him. He grinned nodding, before returning to a more serious expression as his sister elbowed him in the side.

"Thanks, Tana. Yet you need to come with us. You're to stay with us until tomorrow morning, at least," he said, sounding apologetic. I shook my head slightly.

"You're going to have one hell of a time keeping me in your den," I told him coolly. Cori looked at me carefully, before sighing as he led me to his and Tanto's den.


	21. Chapter 21

I awoke to a loud clap of thunder, jumping about a foot. There was a sharp pain around my wrists, and I looked down, quickly remembering how Cori had been forced to chain me up a few hours earlier, just before sunset, when I had nearly escaped from their grasps. Tanto didn't like that I had nearly left, and I had a feeling that she was secretly nursing a small BSMD fetish, considering she had pushed hardest for chaining me up, and was standing over me all day. I forced myself to close my eyes and ignore her being so close.

"Careful, Tana. We don't want those pretty wrists hurt," Tanto said softly from the shaded corner in the back of her den that she had retreated to while I slept. I looked up, hissing softly as I glared at her. I needed to get out and away from her and her attempts to get intimate with me, and I needed to get to Macavity's lair to protect the Jellicles.

"Let me go!" I said, my voice grating against my throat as I heard Macavity's laughter ring through the junkyard. I pulled away harder, almost crying as I tried to get away from the chains, not from the cuts around my wrists from the cold chains, yet because I knew that Macavity wouldn't stop at anything to hurt the others to simply get to me.

"No, Tana. You're not going to leave this den. There are strong enchantments that are impossible for you to get past," she said firmly. I glared at her, before shaking my head.

"I  _will_  get out, no matter what I have to do," I told her coldly. Tanto shook her head.

"There's no way. It's impossible," she replied. I glared at her for a few moments, before looking down at my paws. I had heard of a way to make your hand collapse a couple of inches, which was all that I needed. I took a deep breath, wondering if I could actually bring myself to do it. I would have to, considering I didn't want more people hurt because of me.

"I'm quite sure it's possible," I whispered softly as I took a deep breath, and put my foot on my paw. I slowly let the breath out, closing my eyes as I snapped my paw upwards. There was a sharp crack, as well as a sharp flash of pain, and my paw collapsed in on itself. After repeating the process with my other paw, I slipped my paws out of the chains and glanced up at a stunned Tanto.

"Why'd you do that?" she asked me. Macavity's laughter rang through the yard again.

"Because of him," I said softly before quickly running out to meet him. I could barely see anything through the throbbing pain in my paws, yet I forced myself to ignore it as I continued towards the clearing. The silver and ginger fighters circled each other, not a mark on either of them yet.

"Where is she?" Macavity called out, sounding almost desperate, if it were possible. I took a few steps towards them, wondering when they would notice me.

"You can't have her! She's a Jellicle, not just some stray," Munkustrap called back. I stepped out of the shadows finally, and Macavity looked over at me as he noticed me.

"Well, it appears that she still comes," Macavity said softly as he walked over to me, gently touching my face. I stiffened slightly as I looked down at the ground.

"Hello, Macavity," I whispered softly, trying to tune out the whispers of the rest of the Jellicles' whispers. His paws trailed over my body, and I remained tensed, not liking the extended period of contact with him.

"I was so worried they had hurt you when you didn't come," he whispered, sounding almost caring at this point. It surprised me to hear him so tender, and I pulled away from him, looking up at him to see what was so different about him.

"If you don't leave me, Macavity, I will allow the Jellicles to tear you apart. You've got five seconds to clear out," I told him firmly after a minute. Macavity glanced around, before looking back at me.

"I'll see you tomorrow night then," he said softly. I shrugged slightly as I looked up at him.

"I'm not sure about that. If I can, I guess I'll see you. Don't attack when I don't come. If not tomorrow night, then the night after," I told him. He nodded before kissing me lightly on the lips. I froze, trying not to faint from that intimate of contact with him.

"Bye, dear," he whispered softly before disappearing in a flash of lightning. I sighed, leaning against a pile as I took a deep breath.

"You were right, Tana. He did come," Munkustrap said as he walked over. I shrugged slightly as I wiped my lips off on my paw, wincing as I hit the broken bone.

"I figured he would. It only makes sense," I replied softly as I looked down at my paws, wondering if Misto would be willing to help me.

"How'd you get out?" he asked me after a minute. I sighed and held up my paws.

"Broke a bone, or a few bones. Not sure just how bad it is…" I replied softly, wincing slightly as Munkustrap took my paws and looked over them.

"They'll need to be taken care of…yet why did you do it?" he asked me softly. I shrugged again as I pulled my paws away from him, not wanting even more pain than the base – line throbbing.

"I knew he wouldn't leave without seeing me…I actually didn't think it would work all that well, yet can I go take care of them?" I told him, looking back down at the ground.

"Of course, Tana. Go talk to Misto," he said softly, nodding. I quickly walked off, deciding to check Misto's den first, figuring that he would be there.

Misto stepped out of his den as I walked up, and he looked at me for a minute, before turning around and walking back into the den. I quickly walked in after him, not wanting him to disappear on me before he heard me out.

"Misto?" I asked softly, looking up at him, slightly hesitantly. He looked back at me, his pale face really the only thing possible to discern in the almost murky darkness.

"I expect you've got some injury you want me to heal. That's all I'm good for," he said softly, glancing down at the ground. I nodded slightly, glancing down also. He sighed, before walking over to me and holding my paws.

"You might want to sit down, Tanie. It might hurt," Misto told me, pulling me over to a chair. Wincing, I was barely able to bite my tongue as he pulled on the broken bones. I wondered, curious, if this was a type of payback for something I did. I didn't know what I had done, yet Misto obviously thought I did something wrong.

"Alright then. I don't really care," I said softly as I closed my eyes. He nodded again, and I felt a painful heat travel through my paws as I the bones knit together again. It was quite uncomfortable, unlike the last time he had healed up a broken bone. A sneaking suspicion crawled into my thoughts that he had been also taking care of the feelings of pain last time he healed a bone. That annoyed me, especially considering I still had no clue what I had done against him.

"There you go, Tanie. I suggest you head back to sleep," Misto told me, standing up as he tried to push me out the door. I stood up, though I didn't really move to leave his den.

"Why'd you kick me out?" I asked him softly. He sighed, turning away from me slightly, not answering right away.

"It was how you woke up. You wouldn't understand, Tana, so don't try to," he replied softly. I touched a still-tender paw to his shoulder, not understanding why he was acting like this.

"Please? Can you tell me so that I  _do_ understand? Misto, I still like you a lot…" I said softly. He pulled away from me sharply, glaring at me.

"Go away, Tanie," he said, pulling a cold expression and tone as he glared back at me. Nodding weakly, I slowly turned and walked out of his den. After pausing for a minute as I glanced around, I finally walked towards Ad's den. I figured I should try to make it to his den again, so that I could be there when he got back, yet I figured I would get stopped by someone.

"I wasn't expecting to see you so soon," Macavity said, standing in front of Ad's den. I sighed, looking down at the ground as I tried to avoid his eye. I really wish I didn't make such good of guesses all the time.

"If you weren't expecting me, then why are you here?" I asked, sounding exasperated. He shrugged slightly, standing up straighter as he looked at me better.

"I hear you're wanting answers. I know things, all you need to do is ask them," he told me as he walked over to me. I looked at him carefully before sighing slightly, knowing that I needed the answers and he would be the only one who would tell me.

"What did you do?" I asked him after a minute. He chuckled softly, shaking his head slightly.

"That covers a lot. Mind being more specific?" he asked me. I rolled my eyes as I thought about how to phrase my question to get a correct answer.

"What did you do to make Misto hate me?" I asked him after a minute, expecting that to get a good answer from him.

"And what do I get for return?" he asked me. I stared at him, not expecting him to want something in return. As I thought about it, it made sense, considering I doubted that Macavity did anything that didn't directly benefit him. After thinking for a few minutes, I took a deep, shuddering breath.

"A kiss. On the lips," I told him softly. He grinned slightly as he looked down at me.

"And you shall address me as 'love' from now on," he added. I stared at his grinning face for a moment before nodding slightly.

"Agreed…love," I whispered softly, wincing slightly as I called him that. He grinned even broader as he pulled me close.

"And the first part before I tell you," he said. I glanced down, nodding. He lifted my face up, brushing his paw against the side of my face. I looked into those yellow eyes of his, before closing my eyes and kissing his lips gently. Pulling me closer, he held his lips against mine, and I allowed him to kiss me for a moment more, before pulling away.

"Don't push it…love," I said softly. He nodded slightly as he brushed the side of my face again. I pulled away, trying to keep a disgusted look off my face.

"Alright then, dear. The answer to your question is that I did nothing. Nothing at all," Macavity said before walking away.

"Wait! Why  _does_  he hate me then?" I asked him. He turned, grinning slightly.

"Maybe later, dear. Not right now though," he said before continuing his walk. I sighed, sitting down as I closed my eyes, not enjoying the pouring rain that drenched me to the bone. My life was bad enough, and I didn't need to be drenched on top of it.


	22. Chapter 22

I woke up with a start as I realized that I wasn't outside Ad's den anymore. I looked around, not recognizing the den I was in very quickly. A moment later, I was standing up in the corner, looking around for the quickest way out.

"Tan, calm down," Alonzo said from a few feet away from me. I looked over at him, relaxing only slightly as I reaffirmed that it was him.

"Why am I here?" I asked him softly. He took a deep breath, shrugging slightly as he glanced around the untidy den.

"Munk found you on a patrol and brought you back here to sleep for the night. That's all, Tan," he said softly, shaking his head slightly. I nodded slightly as I looked around.

"This is your den then?" I asked him softly, slowly sitting back down. He nodded slightly as he sat down next to me.

"Yeah. My humble abode," he said softly, not looking at me. I sighed, rolling my eyes slightly as I looked at him.

"Why do you hate me so much?" I asked him, not understanding it. There seemed to be a lot that I didn't understand since I shut down. Alonzo sighed, leaning back against the wall of the den.

"I let you go past, and you probably went to go report to Macavity," he said bitterly. I looked over at him, slightly confused as to his bitter tone.

"Just because of that, you hate me? I never  _wanted_  to do what Macavity told me to. He had forced me to," I said, sighing slightly as I tried to get him to understand. Alonzo laughed bitterly, still not looking at me.

"I doubt that. Anyone who associates with Macavity does it willingly," he said. I pulled my knees up, uncomfortable with how clear cut and black and white his world was. He glanced over at me for the second time that morning, sighing and muttering something I couldn't hear.

"What?" I asked him softly, deciding to continue the conversation since he probably wouldn't let me go see Admetus for a while. Alonzo looked over at me, sighing again.

"I felt betrayed when I heard that you worked for him, Tan! I couldn't believe it," he said, sounding slightly mad. It was my turn to sigh as I thought over how to reply to that.

"I expect most of the Jellicles felt betrayed, Lonz. Don't feel special," I said softly, closing my eyes slightly. He looked over at me, wrapping an arm around my waist as he pulled me closer. I made a small face, trying to pull away from him as I looked up at him. This seemed too much like something Macavity would do.

"Please, Lonz…I don't exactly like you that way…" I said softly, looking down slightly. Alonzo looked at me, quite obviously confused.

"Who could be better than me?" he asked softly. I smiled faintly, thinking of Ad and how wonderful he was towards me.

"Someone I think I love, and somebody who doesn't act bipolar towards me," I said softly before standing up, knowing that I had to talk to Ad then. It had waited long enough, and it was high time that I talked to him. As I started to walk out the den, Alonzo put a paw on my shoulder, stopping me.

"Who is it, Tan?" he asked me softly. I simply smiled back at him, shaking my head slightly as I pulled away from him.

"I need to talk to him first. Maybe I'll tell you later," I said before running out of the den and towards Ad's den.

The Jellicles trying to get my attention were ignored, as well as the stich in my side. I wouldn't let anything distract me this time. I wanted, well, no. I  _needed_ to talk to him and tell him how I felt. No more than five minutes later, I was walking into Ad's den, smiling faintly.

"Ad," I said, smiling slightly broader as I looked at him. He glanced up from looking at his side, smiling tiredly. I looked at him, noticing that the smile wasn't only tired, yet also slightly forced.

"Hi there, Tana…" he said softly before glancing back down at his side. I walked over to him, looking at him slightly concerned. He was holding his side tightly, as though it was hurt badly. As I looked at it, I saw that it was. It was bleeding, and as I looked back up at Ad, saw that he was several shades paler than normal.

"What do you need?" I asked him softly, wondering how long he had been bleeding this badly.

"Help get this stuff off of me…" he replied. I nodded, quickly starting with his goggles, then his gloves before moving to his second skin. "Careful, it takes a touch of—"

"I've got it," I said softly as I started peeling off the skin, pausing as I came to his side. He lifted his paws up, causing the bleeding to grow slightly worse, and I took a deep breath as I pulled the skin away from him as quickly as I could so that he could put more pressure on it again.

"Can you get Misto now? I think he'd better heal this one up before I catch some sleep," he said as he sat down. I nodded slightly, biting my lip as I tried not to sit down and try to take care of it myself before running off to find Misto.

When I found him, I saw him lying down in his den, dozing on his small bed. I gently tapped his shoulder as I walked over to him, biting my lip slightly as I hoped that he wouldn't immediately push me away. He groaned softly as he turned, sighing as his eyes landed on my face.

"If you broke your paw again, you get to heal it the old-fashioned way," he said as he pulled a pillow over his head, trying to block me out. I sighed, tapping him again, more urgently this time.

"It's Ad. Please, he got stabbed or something…" I said softly. Misto took a deep breath, releasing it in a sigh as he sat up.

"Fine. Let's get going, Tanie. I'm sure he's bleeding all over his couch at this point," he said before striding out and making his way to Ad's den. I followed behind him, grateful that he was actually putting Ad's wellbeing before his dislike of me.

"Hi there, Misto. Glad you could stop by…" Ad said softly as we walked in a minute later. Misto sighed as he walked over to the wounded tom that I was quite sure I loved.

"Honestly, Ad, how do you get yourself into these situations?" Misto asked softly, shaking his head slightly. I looked slightly shocked, hoping that it hadn't happened more than this once.

"Well, there was this pollicle…And don't look so worried, Tana. I'll be fine," Ad said, smiling slightly as he looked up at me. I smiled faintly back at him, also shaking my head slightly as I held his paw lightly.

"Tana, could you please hold his wound closed? I could do it myself, yet it works better with two people," Misto said, looking up at me. I nodded slightly as I knelt down next to Misto, holding the gash closed, trying to ignore the feeling of Ad's blood on my paws. Misto took a deep breath, a few handfuls of glitter piling in his hands, and he gently blew on the gash. Within moments the ripped muscle and skin knit itself back together, leaving nothing behind to show for the wound.

"Thanks, Misto. You're a lifesaver," Ad said softly as he sat up. Misto shrugged slightly as he stood up. I stood up next to him, smiling faintly.

"Thank—"

"Don't let him run around. Not for another day, please, Tanie. Get that blood washed off of him, yet make sure he just rests for a while," Misto told me softly, cutting me off. I nodded slightly, watching as Misto left as soon as I acknowledged his request. Holding a paw out to Ad, I helped him off of the couch and then out to a small water spigot just on the other side of the door. He followed me closely, leaning on me with what I normally would say would be an unneeded amount, yet I didn't particularly mind all that much to the close contact. We turned on the water, cleaning off our fur gently. The silence didn't bug me much, considering it didn't actually seem all that awkward like most silences were around me.

"Thank you, by the way, Tana," Ad said, breaking the silence a few minutes later. I smiled up at him, shrugging slightly.

"It's not like I would have let you died, Ad. I could never do that," I replied softly as I led him back to his den. He smiled up at me, before walking back to the bed and sitting down there. I followed him back, not wanting to let him out of my sight until I was sure he was better. He smiled slightly as he looked up at me.

"You're not going to leave me, are you?" he asked softly, still smiling playfully. I shook my head, smiling back at him as I looked into those wonderful eyes of his.

"Nope, not for a minute," I replied as I sat down next to him. He grinned broader, before gently caressing the side of my face. I found myself purring gently as I rubbed up against his paw softly, and he curled up in his cat form, also purring softly as he fell asleep, or appeared to. I took a deep breath, before shifting into my cat form also and curling up against him as I closed my eyes. His purrs grew slightly louder as his tail found mine, curling around it tightly.

"I was thinking that it was a dream for a minute there from the lack of blood…" Ad's soft voice said, pulling me out of pleasant dreams with him. I smiled, opening my eyes as I looked at him. He smiled back down at me, and we simply looked at each other for a minute.

"I don't think so…If it was, I think one of us might have woken up already," I replied softly. His smile broadened and he wrapped an arm around my waist gently. This was nothing like Macavity's touch; it was much more loving and, well,  _wanted_.

"So you'd really choose the nobody over the second in command?" he asked me softly, sounding slightly disbelieving. I smiled, nodding up at him.

"Yeah. I would. I'd choose you over anyone in the world, I think," I replied softly, brushing my paw over his cheek. He grinned slightly, closing his eyes as he nuzzled my paw gently. I leaned my head on his shoulder, nuzzling him lightly.

"How long did it take you to realize it?" he asked me softly as he held me close. I closed my eyes slightly, purring softly as I thought about the question.

"I'm not sure," I replied softly after a minute of thought. He laughed softly, smiling as he pulled away from me slightly, looking at me carefully.

"At least you realized it, Tana…" he said softly before leaning towards me. I quickly closed the distance between us, kissing his lips deeply. He purred lowly before kissing me back, holding me tighter as his paws wound their way into my headfur. Simply melting into the kiss, my arms found their way around his waist as I held him close to my body.

"I think I love you, Ad…" I whispered softly as I pulled away from him slightly. He smiled at me, rubbing my ear softly, brushing his lips against my cheek.

"I love you too," he whispered softly in my ear. I grinned faintly, leaning my head on his shoulder. He kept his arms wrapped around my waist, purring softly.

"Tana…would you be willing to be my queen friend?" he asked me. I froze, not moving for a minute, before pulling away from him and running away. Queen friend meant Macavity. Simple as that. Macavity meant danger, and I couldn't take danger, even though I knew there wasn't any with Ad.

I sat down a few minutes later on a tall junk pile that overlooked the main clearing, curled up slightly. I couldn't believe that I had run away from perfect, amazing Ad, yet I still couldn't bring myself to go back to him and apologize for running away. Hopefully he'd understand when I talked to him next time.

"I was wondering where you had gone. I've not talked to you in ages," Quaxo said softly as he walked up behind me. I glanced back at him, smiling faintly.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to hide from you, Quaxo," I replied softly as I looked back over the junkyard. He shrugged slightly as he sat down next to me.

"You don't really hide all that well anyways," he said softly. I shrugged slightly as I looked back over the clearing, taking in the various things going on. A few of the toms were wrestling on the ground, and I decided to watch them, considering it was more fun than watching the queens talk.

"I don't really try," I replied softly as my eyes landed on Porthos. I had a sneaking suspicion that I'd always feel something for him, even if it was purely platonic.

"He loves you, you know…" Quaxo said softly. I nodded slightly.

"I know, Quaxo. I just love someone else," I told him softly. Quaxo nodded slightly. You might want to tell him that before he finds out the hard way. I continued watching Porthos sadly, not moving my gaze when he looked up and locked eyes with me. He said something to Plato, before running off out of sight, presumably to talk to me. I took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself to face him.

"I'll leave you two then," Quaxo said softly. I nodded slightly, returning my attention to the clearing until Porthos got there.

After a few moments of silence, there was some shuffling behind me, and I knew it was Porthos. I took a deep breath as I tried to keep myself from running away from him. He deserved to simply have one conversation with me, and I would have it be now rather than in a few days. It would simply be kinder on the both of us.

"Are you going to run?" Porthos asked me softly as he took a few steps towards me. I took yet another deep breath before shaking my head slightly.

"No…I need to talk to you anyways," I said softly as I didn't look up at him, my head resting on my knees. He sat down next to me, trying to wrap his arm around me. I pulled away from him, not letting him get very far.

"What happened on Halloween?" I asked him softly, wanting to make sure it was him before I really said anything at all. Porthos looked at me slightly strangely, before taking a deep breath as he thought about it.

"You were forced to go to that party. Antha and I saved you, and then after you got half undressed, I laid on your stomach. I don't think you liked it much…" he replied softly as he leaned back on his paws. I nodded slightly as I sighed.

"Things were so much easier then…" I whispered softly.

"Quil…why do you run away from me?" he asked me softly as he looked over at me.

"Macavity…" I admitted softly, not really wanting to have to tell him, even though it was best.

"Macavity?" he asked, sounding confused beyond all reason.

"Yeah. He made himself look like you, and then we got close, so now…now I don't know if you're real, or if you're simply Macavity hiding as Porthos," I told him softly. He nodded slightly, taking a deep breath, closing his eyes tightly.

"So…you're simply worried that I'm Macavity…" he said softly. I nodded slightly, before shaking my head.

"Well, no, I guess not. Porthos, I'm sorry, yet…Porthos, I've fallen in love with another tom," I said softly. He looked at me before nodded imperceptibly.

"It figures…think I'll ever find a queen?" he asked me softly. I nodded slightly, smiling faintly.

"Yeah, you will. I'm sure she's out there waiting for you now," I told him softly, smiling at him. He smiled back weakly, looking slightly more hopeful now, though it still seemed a bit hearbroken.

"Think we can still be friends then, Quil?" he said. I nodded, smiling softly before hugging him tightly.

"Yep. Still friends, Porthos," I replied softly as he hugged me back tightly. There was a soft sound behind us, and I turned to see Ad, looking quite sad and hearbroken. I stood up, ready to explain what this was about. He held a paw up, stopping me from explaining as he looked at me.

"You know, everyone said that you were going to end up with Porthos in the end. I was simply wondering how long I had with you. I guess a day's too much to ask for," he said coolly before walking away. I quickly pulled away from Porthos, running after him.

"Ad, please, just let me explain!" I said, grabbing Ad's paw. He looked back at me, before snatching his paw away and shaking his head.

"I don't want to hear it, Tana. Please, just let me nurse my heartache alone," he said. I stared at him as he walked away, simply too much in shock to follow him.


	23. Chapter 23

"Dear? Why are you here so early? Macavity asked me as I stormed into his lair that afternoon. He was sitting down on his ornate throne in his private room—why he had one there, I didn't know, considering he had another one in his throne room—and I walked up to him. I was determined to get my way this time.

"Well,  _love_ ," I said, sneering the word at him, "I hate you! I god damn fuckin' hate you! You've ruined my life!" I stared up at him, breathing hard both from rage and from the long run here.

"Dear?" he asked me, sounding faintly confused. His features reflected his confusion, yet he quickly regained his composure, standing up and taking a few steps towards me. "Don't forget who has the power here, dear."

"I know exactly who has the power here right now," I replied, taking a step towards him in return as I glared at him, not backing down from the challenge he presented.

"Oh really? Who has the power here then?" he asked me, taking a few more steps towards me. He was now only a couple of feet away from me.

"I do. Face it, you couldn't stand it when I disappeared for a month, and you won't be able to bear it if I refuse to see you again. It would simply tear you apart," I told him, still not backing down. He looked at me furiously, grabbing my shoulder and digging his claws into my skin. It took almost all of my energy not to give him the satisfaction of my cries of pain. Obviously, I had overstepped my bounds.

"What do you suggest I do? Kill one of your pathetic love interests? That might help you sort your life out," Macavity muttered in my ear. I glared at him, pulling away slightly as I kicked his knee, causing him to stumble back slightly. He looked even more furious at me as he regained his footing.

"No. You will stay away from the Jellicles, and you will never see me again," I told him lowly. He raised an eyebrow as he walked up closer to me. I finally took a step back, not enjoying the predatory look in his eyes and I stared up at him. "Stay the hell away from me!"

"Never, dear, never," he muttered as he pushed me back onto the ground. The wind got knocked out of me and I tried moving away from him as he knelt down over me, straddling my waist as he knelt next to my ear. "I'll prove to you just how close I'll stay…" he muttered softly.

I was dropped onto the cold, damp stones that lined the sidewalk around the Junkyard. Shivering slightly, I stood up, trying to see if anyone was around who could help me, considering I could barely manage to stand upright. As I knelt back down on the stones, waiting for someone to come, I saw the silver tabby protector walk by, probably on his usual nightly patrol.

"Munkustrap!" I called out softly, not daring to try my legs now. He looked over his shoulder, and quickly spotted me. Walking over to me, he held out a paw, which I took, carefully standing up.

"What happened" he asked me. I hissed lowly, not wanting to voice what had happened to me to him. "Who did this to you, at the very least?"

"Macavity," I breathed softly as I started walking into the Junkyard, leaning heavily on him.

"What did he do to you?" he asked me softly. I shook my head, still refusing to say what happened to me. I wouldn't let the whole world know what happened to me, and especially not Munkustrap. "Why won't you say what happened? I could help you easier."

"I don't want your pity, Munkustrap. Just help me get to Jenny's," I told him sharply. Munkustrap sighed, nodding slightly as he fell silent, still leading me to Jenny's den.

"Alright then. It's right here, Tanaquil," he said as he led me inside, helping me sit down on one of the beds. I was lucky that my legs hadn't given out by then, and I was also lucky that Munkustrap was getting Jenny as I touched an especially tender part of my legs—an 'M' shaped cut Macavity gave me that was along my inner thigh. That was the true reason why I couldn't trust my legs. It wasn't bleeding as bad as it had earlier, yet there was still a small trickle of blood. Jenny walked in a moment later, with Munkustrap leaving the den.

"Munkustrap told me that Macavity did something to you. What happened?" she asked me softly. I took a deep breath before spreading my legs slightly, exposing the cut. She gasped softly, before walking to a small set of cupboards, pulling out some sort of goo and some bandages. "Does that mean what I think it means?" she asked softly as he back was turned towards me. I took a deep breath, nodding slightly.

"Yes…Macavity raped me…" I said softly, figuring it was just easiest to tell her. She nodded sadly as she turned towards me to take care of the cut.

"You'll have bruising along your thighs, and you'll have to be careful so that this cut doesn't get infected," she said softly. I nodded, feeling the bruises already setting in. It wouldn't be fun walking or sitting for a few days now.

"I know. I'll be careful," I said as she finished bandaging the cut. She nodded slightly as she looked up at me.

"Do you want to stay here for the night?" she asked me softly. I shook my head quickly, standing up even though I had to use the bed to support myself.

"No. I'll stay with Ad," I replied softly as I started walking slowly out of the den.

"Are you sure about that, Tana?" Jenny asked me, sounding quite concerned for my well-being. I sighed, nodding as I glanced back at her.

"I'm quite sure, Jenny. I'm not going to take your pity, and if I stay here, word will get out easier about what happened to me. I don't want that to happen," I told her. She sighed again, before nodding and waving me away. I quickly walked out, making my way to Ad's den, even though I knew he wouldn't be there, what with the GRC taking up his time.

After several minutes, I walked into Ad's den, taking a deep breath as I walked into the back room, curling up on the bed as I closed my eyes, trying to force myself to sleep. It wouldn't work, not with the images of what Macavity had done to me flashing through my eyes. I stood up, pacing slightly before curling up in the corner, eyes open, as I waited for dawn to arrive.

"Tana? Tana, what on earth are you doing in here?" I heard Ad say from above me. I looked up at him, taking a deep breath, before looking back down at the ground, not really knowing much to say to him now that he found me.

"Hi there…" I said softly, my voice sounding hollow and weak. Ad knelt down next to me, gently touching my shoulder as he looked at me. He looked concerned, and he helped me sit up against the bed so that he could look at me better.

"What's wrong?" he asked me softly. I took a deep breath as I leaned against him, simply wanting to be close to him, where it was safe.

"My body hurts…" I whispered softly as I held onto his fur carefully, finally letting myself show some of the emotions I was feeling, even though I was still keeping myself from crying.

"What are you talking about?" he asked softly. I glanced down at my legs briefly, wincing slightly as he brushed up against them. "Macavity?"

"Raped me. Dropped me just outside the junkyard. I was trying to make things right…" I whispered softly. Ad inhaled sharply, before holding me closer to his body.

"That monster did this to you?" he asked me softly as he touched my leg gingerly. I winced again, before nodding slightly.

"Also marked me…" I muttered softly. Admetus nodded slightly as he held me close.

"He always does that…I'm so sorry, Tana. This…it feels like this is all my fault," he whispered softly. I shook my head quickly, not wanting him to think that.

"It's not your fault. It could never be your fault…" I told him softly. He closed his eyes, before standing up and turning to leave suddenly. My eyes widened, and I grabbed his leg desperately. "Don't leave me! Please don't leave me alone…" I whispered softly as I looked up at him, utterly pleading with him. He looked back at me sadly, before looking back out the door.

"Let me make this right," he said softly. I shook my head quickly.

"Don't leave me," I whispered again. He nodded as he sat down next to me again as I sat down on his lap, holding him tightly, not wanting to have to leave him.

"Have you told anyone else what happened?" he whispered softly. I shook my head in reply as I took a deep, though shaky, breath.

"No. Jenny's the only one who knows…" I replied softly. Ad nodded slightly, before sighing.

"Don't you think you should tell your tomfriend? The Jellicles might start saying things about us, so why don't you stay at his place instead of mine?" he asked softly. Taking a deep breath, I shrugged slightly. I had thought I was telling him now, yet apparently Ad didn't quite realize that I liked him much more than Porthos.

"Porthos? I guess I should…" I said softly. Ad nodded slightly. I sighed deeply, before standing up and walking towards the door.

"Oh, and I'd rather think of you as my tomfriend, Ad…" I whispered softly, glancing back at him before walking outside and making my way towards Antha's den. I slipped inside, and Porthos looked at me the moment I stepped inside.

"Tanie…what's wrong?" Porthos asked me. I took a deep breath, sighing slightly as I forced myself to ask him.

"Can I stay with you?" I asked him softly as I looked at him. He looked me over with a very confused expression.

"What the fell happened to you?" he asked me after a minute. I looked between him and Antha before looking back at him.

"Macavity…he…took advantage of me, I guess you could say," I told him softly. Porthos looked slightly shocked, before glancing over at Antha uneasily.

"I…I don't think that will work very well," he said, before walking out past me, quite deliberately staying away from me. I looked up at Antha, who shrugged slightly.

"I'm sorry. I can't help you either, if Porthos won't. You'll just have to find somewhere else, or, even better, just get your own den," Antha told me. I blinked at her, before turning quickly, going to head back to Ad's den.

Several Jellicles were trying to get my attention, yet I simply sighed, opting not to answer their questions or even really acknowledge their presence. I simply wanted to have someone to comfort me, and I only really wanted to be comforted by Ad. It wasn't worth my time to deal with people who would run away when I needed them, or weren't even there to begin with. I simply wanted Ad.

I walked into Ad's den, to an apparently surprised Admetus. Sitting down on the couch, he sat down next to me, wrapping an arm around me. As I leaned close to him, he sighed softly, pulling me even closer to his body.

"What happened?" he asked me softly. I took a deep breath as I put my face into his shoulder.

"He flat out refused. Barely even looked at me…" I told Admetus softly. He sighed again, before hugging me close.

"He's not worth your time then," he told me softly. I nodded, having known that for a while now.

"I know, Ad. You….you don't think of me as something wrong or dirty now, right?" I asked him softly, looking up at him as I hoped that he wouldn't. I didn't think he would, yet I simply needed to hear the words from him. Ad looked at me like I was missing something obvious.

"Of course not, Tana. How could I? It doesn't make sense," he told me, softly holding my chin up towards his face. I smiled as I leaned my head against his shoulder, nuzzling him gently. He purred softly as he held my body closer, his strong arms not letting me move away from him.

"Thank you…" I whispered softly as I closed my eyes slightly, thinking that I might actually be able to sleep in his arms without any nightmarish images flashing before my eyes.

"Tana…why aren't you…Why haven't you shut down because of this?" Ad asked me softly. I sighed, not really wanting to have to explain it, and not really wanting to talk very much at all.

"I figured he would rape or kill me sooner or later. It was just a matter of time. The shock I'm feeling…well, I just didn't think he'd have the audacity to last night," I replied softly with a small shrug. Ad nodded slightly as he leaned back against the couch.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Tana. I wish you wouldn't have gone there last night…" he said softly. I nodded slightly as I held my paw against his chest, gently running it through his fur. I took a deep breath after a few minutes, smiling faintly at him.

"Ad…how much do you like me?" I asked him softly. He took a deep breath, taking a few minutes to think about it. I felt my spirits plummeting even further with every moment that passed.

"I love you, Tana," he said simply. I looked up at him, not thinking I had heard him right. "I love your voice, your eyes, how you don't let much get to you, how…how you've helped me so much and everything. I doubt there's anything I don't like about you. I told you I love you earlier, and if anything, I simply love you more now." I took a shaky breath, still not believing my ears as I looked at him. I had almost forgotten that he told me that he loved me earlier.

"I love you too, Ad. I don't think there's anyone in the world I could love more than you," I told him softly. He smiled as he hugged me tightly.

"Tana…would you ever want to be my mate?" he asked softly. I blinked slightly, not expecting that question, even though it wasn't exactly an unpleasant thought to be Ad's mate.

"Maybe…actually, I think I'd like that. Just not right away," I said, looking up at him momentarily. He nodded as he looked back at me.

"Of course not right away. I was just wondering if you were opposed to the idea or not," he said softly. I nodded, taking a deep breath.

"Ad…do you mind if I—"

He cut me off as he pressed his lips against mine. I stiffened momentarily, not expecting him to kiss me so suddenly, before relaxing and kissing him back gently. It was a curious thing, considering I was about to ask him if I could kiss him before I got cut off. I pulled away slightly, smiling happily at him.

"Mind reader…" I whispered softly. He grinned at me, shrugging slightly.

"I've been wanting to do that for ages now," he replied. I laughed softly, before kissing him again. He grinned faintly against my lips before kissing me back deeply, wrapping one arm around my waist as the other trailed along my leg. I stiffened slightly as it brought back unpleasant memories of Macavity doing a motion much the same as that the previous night.

 _No. This is Ad, not Macavity. Ad is safe…_ I told myself sternly, relaxing as I remembered that. He pulled away from me a few moments later, smiling.

"I take it you were wanting it also?" he asked me softly. I grinned, nodding slightly.

"Yeah. I was," I told him softly as I curled up close to him. Despite everything that happened to me, I couldn't help but simply adore being close to Ad.

"Are you happy, Tana?" he asked me softly after a few minutes. I nodded, smiling as I nuzzled his shoulder again.

"Yeah. I'm really, really happy with you," I told him. He smiled happily back at me, gently kissing my neck. I purred softly as I entwined my paws in the fur on his chest, a small smile still on my face. Purring lowly, he wrapped his arms around me tightly.

"I suppose this means that I need to give up being the GRC…" he said softly, sounding almost regretful at that. I shook my head slightly.

"No, not if you don't want to. I'll let you continue, just so long as you don't kill yourself," I told him. He took a deep breath.

"Even if you don't see me all that much?" he asked me. I nodded slightly.

"We still have the afternoons and mornings though," I reminded him softly as I closed my eyes.

"I guess so…wait, are you asleep?" he asked me. I grinned faintly, nodding as I kept my eyes closed. "Didn't you just wake up an hour ago though?"

"No…couldn't sleep at all. Nightmares, and I didn't feel safe alone," I whispered softly. He tightened his hold on me, and I snuggled up closer to him.

"Well, you're safe now, and I'll chase away every nightmare you ever have," he said softly. I nodded slightly, slipping off into a peaceful sleep.


	24. Chapter 24

I made a small face, squirming slightly as I felt myself waking up. Keeping my eyes closed, I tried to keep myself asleep; I didn't really want to have to face the world, and my legs were feeling sorer than they had when I had fallen asleep. Eventually I would have to wake up, yet I didn't want to yet. It wouldn't be pleasant having to think of answers to the questions I knew would be coming.

"Wake up, love…" Ad said softly. I sighed softly, slowly opening my eyes as I looked up at him. He smiled as he brushed my cheek gently, and I smiled up at him, feeling a pleasantly light feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"How long was I out?" I asked him softly as I sat up slowly, wincing as my legs hurt slightly.

"About a day, more or less. I figured you should get some decent sleep for once, so I wasn't worried about waking you up," he replied as he sat down next to me. I leaned my head against his shoulder, nodding slightly as I took a deep breath. Rubbing his leg lightly with my paw, I noticed a few cuts and scratches on his body.

"You went out again, didn't you?" I asked him softly. He nodded slightly.

"Yeah. I did. You were asleep, so I figured you were fine. I'm not hurt, other than a couple of cuts and scratches," he replied, smiling down at me. I simply hugged him close, not really wanting to let him go off again.

"I'm glad you're alright, Ad…" I said softly as he hugged me back. He nodded, pressing his lips against my head gently.

"I love you, Tana," he whispered softly in my ear. I smiled faintly, hugging him slightly tighter.

"I love you too," I replied softly after a very brief hesitation. It still would take some getting used to to tell him I loved him back so easily. I kissed his neck gently, still glad that we were together. It was hard to think that what was effectively a week or so ago, I was pining over Porthos and Mistoffelees.

"I'm going to need to get some sleep. And you're going to need to actually be sociable today also," he told me gently, pulling away from me slightly. Sighing softly, I glanced over at the door.

"Can't you be selfish though? Just for today?" I asked him softly, not really wanting to leave his side, even though I wasn't tired at all. Admetus shook his head slightly.

"No, Tana. I've been selfish for the past day by not waking you up and getting you all to myself. You need to talk to your other friends. They might be missing you…" he told me softly, brushing my cheek softly. I nodded sadly, hugging him tight before kissing his lips lightly.

"Alright then. I guess I'll see you this evening then. I'll try to make it back here before you head out, if you do head out tonight…" I told him softly. He nodded, smiling at me before kissing my paws lightly. I felt that pleasantly light feeling again and I smiled faintly up at him.

"Sounds like a plan, love. I'll see you tonight," he replied gently. Standing up, I nodded, kissing his cheek lightly, before walking out the door.

I walked down the small trail, feeling considerably less sore than how I felt just when I woke up. It was nice, considering I took that to mean that I was probably healing nicely from Macavity's attack, though I knew I would probably still have the "M" shaped scar on my leg, just like the one on my shoulder blade. I would still be branded as one of Macavity's playthings, no matter how much Admetus claimed me as his own over what would hopefully be the next few years.

"Tana!" a squealing voice said as I was tackled from the side once I set foot into the clearing. I fell to the dusty ground, and grinned slightly as I saw Victoria grinning down at me.

"Why'd you tackle me, Vic?" I asked her, raising an eyebrow slightly. She giggled softly, before shrugging slightly.

"I didn't actually think that you would fall over," she said innocently. I rolled my eyes slightly, pushing her off me gently before standing up again.

"Wow, Vic…just, wow…" I said, shaking my head slightly, smiling faintly.

"I'm sorry, Tana! I really didn't mean to make you fall over," Victoria said, instantly sounding apologetic and such as she hugged me again. I shook my head slightly, grinning at her.

"Don't worry about it," I said softly. She smiled, nodding slightly at me.

"Why have you been avoiding everyone, Tana? We've all been really worried about you, especially after what Jenny said happened to you," Victoria said softly. My eyes narrowed slightly, and I took a carefully measured breath.

"Now, what did she say happened to me?" I asked her softly, being sure that I looked down at the ground so that I didn't unwittingly glare at Victoria. Victoria blinked slightly at me.

"She said that you were attacked by Macavity. That  _is_ true, isn't it? I can't imagine that she would lie to everyone…" she asked me. I nodded slightly, glad that Jenny hadn't told everyone the specifics of what had happened to me. If she had, I doubt I would have forgiven her very easily.

"Yeah. It is, unfortunately," I replied softly. Victoria nodded slightly, hugging me close.

"You know you didn't have to avoid us just because of that," Victoria told me softly, before I got hugged by someone else as well. I turned my head slightly, seeing Jemima hugging me tightly as well. I grinned slightly as I hugged her back.

"Why did you avoid us? I missed you," Jemima told me softly. I sighed, not thinking that they would have thought I was avoiding them.

"I wasn't really trying to, considering I've been asleep for the past day or so since I was attacked," I told them softly, glancing up slightly as I noticed Demeter look at me slightly strangely. Jemima nodded slightly, hugging me again.

"Where were you though? Munk was worried sick about you, considering you weren't with Cori and Jemima or with Tanto, and you weren't with Misto either. Antha and Porthos said they didn't see you and we had no clue where else you could be!" Victoria said, pulling away from me finally. I looked at her, slightly confused about this bit of information.

"Antha and Porthos both saw me yesterday morning, and why would Munk be worried about me?" I asked slowly, wondering why they would lie about seeing me. It didn't really seem like something worth lying about. What also confused me was Munk's behavior, considering he never seemed to be remotely worried about me before.

"Well, you're a part of the tribe, Tana…Munk's finally realized that, I think, and they really did see you? I wonder why they lied about that…well, who are you staying with then?" Jemima asked me. I smiled faintly, shrugging slightly at the thought of Admetus.

"Just my tomfriend," I said softly. They both blinked at me, obviously confused about who I was talking about.

"Porthos said he didn't see you, you weren't staying with Misto, and Lonz didn't know where you were at either…There's no one left for you to be dating unless you're dating an alley cat, which would be horrible, considering they're probably all working for Macavity," Victoria said softly. I blinked slightly at her, before shaking my head slightly. Were there really no other toms that I could possibly be dating?

"No…I'm staying with Admetus…" I said softly, glancing down slightly, wondering why they would count him out. It's not like I actually spent much time with anyone else. After thinking about that for a moment, I realized that spending so much time with Ad was probably the reason why they didn't think about him since I wasn't around to tell them about me and him.

"What about Porthos? He's utterly infatuated with you…" Victoria said softly as she sounded almost heartbroken. I blinked slightly at her, before shaking my head slightly.

"He doesn't even look at me. I told him Macavity attacked me, and he ran off. He doesn't like me anymore," I said softly, still feeling slightly sad about that, considering I still wanted his friendship.

"How do you know? Maybe he was going off to attack Macavity in return!" Victoria said, smiling at the thought. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. That wasn't even an option, what with how he stared at me like I was something utterly dirty and despicable.

"That's not even an option. He didn't even try to comfort me," I said, looking at her firmly.

"Yet how do you know? Did you ask him?" Victoria asked, still sounding slightly said. I sighed sharply, glaring at him.

"Just drop it, Vic. He doesn't like me," I snapped at her before walking away, not wanting to have to deal with justifying me and Ad being together to her. I didn't think I should have to do that, and especially not to her.

Walking away, I tried to calm down slightly, considering I knew I shouldn't have snapped at Victoria. I was about to walk down one of the paths to go somewhere—I didn't know where I was going to go, yet I needed to simply leave the prodding questions from my two friends—when a hand touched my shoulder, stopping me. Looking over my shoulder, I saw that Demeter had stopped me, looking slightly concerned.

"Tana…how exactly did Macavity attack you?" she asked me softly. I took a carefully measured breath as I pulled away from her slightly.

"That is between me and Macavity, Demeter. I'm not going to tell you," I replied, looking carefully at her so that she wouldn't question my decision.

"Did he rape you?" she continued, looking more worried. I took another carefully measured breath, determined not to overreact and confirm it in her mind. She continued looking at me, before glancing down at my legs and then back up at me.

"Like I said, that is between me and him. I'm not saying one way or another," I told her again before walking off down the trail. I slowed after a few turns, before stopping altogether and sitting down against an old fridge, closing my eyes slightly. I had noticed where she looked at me, and I knew what she was thinking, even though I didn't want to confirm it in my mind.

"You really should be more vigilant," a soft voice said as someone sat down next to me. I smiled faintly as I recognized Plato's voice. Opening my eyes, I glanced over at him, rolling my eyes slightly, trying not to let him know how much I was scared that Macavity would come after me again.

"And why should I be more vigilant?" I asked him, smiling faintly. He looked back at me, raising an eyebrow slightly.

"Macavity's been bragging about what he did to you. And he's been talking about how he raped the new queen around all over the alleyways. I'm really sorry that he did that to you, by the way," Plato said, honestly sounding apologetic. I took a deep breath, giving up on the fearless act.

"Why's he bragging?" I asked him softly, wondering if it was because Macavity knew he would have an heir. Pluto took a deep breath before shrugging slightly.

"Don't know. Think it's because he broke someone again…" he said with a shrug. He glanced over at me, gently rubbing my leg. "It's not because of another child. Everyone would know if you were carrying his child. Did he break you then?"

"No. He can't make me shut down again," I said softly, shaking my head firmly, inwardly relieved that I most likely wasn't carrying Macavity's unborn child. "Actually, he's made my life better than how it was before." Plato looked at me, blinking slightly, before nodding slightly with a faint smile on his face.

"So you and Porthos finally got together," he said. I rolled my eyes slightly before shaking my head. I really didn't understand why everyone assumed me and Porthos were together now that I said I had a tomfriend.

"Nope. Porthos ran off when I told him what Macavity did to me," I told him softly. Plato made a small face.

"He gets on my nerves sometimes…You got together with Admetus then," he said. I nodded slightly, smiling at the thought.

"Yeah. We're together now," I told him. He smiled broader, hugging my shoulders tightly.

"I'm glad you're happy, Tana, even with what happened to you," he said softly. I shrugged slightly, glad that someone wasn't berating me for getting together with Ad rather than Porthos. I took a deep breath, pulling away slightly from Plato.

"How have you been, lately? I've not seen you in a while it seems like," I said, looking up at him. He shrugged slightly as his smile faded slightly.

"Fine, I guess. Nothing too bad's happened to me since everything happened. Still as lonely as ever…" he said softly. I looked up at him, slightly confused.

"Don't you have anyone?" I asked him softly, thinking that he had to have at least one person he was close to, other than me. He shook his head slightly, leaning his head back.

"No. Didn't want to give Macavity the opportunity to hurt me that way. Or to hurt them," Plato replied sadly. I sighed softly as I glanced over at him.

"Surely there's  _someone_  you like though," I said softly. He took a deep breath before nodding slightly. He kept his eyes closed as he hung his head slightly.

"Yeah. Victoria," Plato whispered softly. I blinked slightly, not really expecting that.

"I thought you said you were just friends…" I whispered softly. He nodded slightly as he glanced up at me.

"We  _are_  just friends. I can't let it get any farther than that as long as Macavity's alive," he said softly. I looked at him sadly, not really wanting Plato to have to worry about that.

"Maybe you'll still end up with her after a while," I said softly. He looked over at me, raising an eyebrow slightly.

"You really think that?" he asked me. I nodded slightly in return.

"Yep. You'll end up with her," I told him. He smiled faintly at me before it faded again.

"I've got a question for you Tana, and you have to promise to answer it," he said softly, looking down at his paws. I looked at him, slightly confused.

"Alright then. I'll answer it, no matter what," I said softly. He took a deep breath, before looking back up at me.

"Why didn't you ever like me? Like how you liked Porthos and Misto?" he asked me softly. I took a deep breath, not really even knowing the answer myself.

"I honestly don't know…I guess I just never really thought about you that way…" I said softly. Plato nodded slightly.

"Alright then…" he said softly, sounding quite glum. I rolled my eyes as I looked over at him.

"Honestly, Plato, anyone would be lucky to get you. I just like having you as a friend, even someone who's like a brother to me," I said softly, smiling faintly at him. He glanced up at me, before nodding slightly and standing up.

"Thanks for talking to me, Tana. And I think I'm finally going to ask Victoria out…" he said, finally grinning as he ran off towards the clearing.

"Glad I could help…" I murmured softly as I stood up to make my way back towards Ad's den. The questions everyone would be asking about me and Ad could wait, in my mind, considering I simply wanted to spend more time with him. Plato asking Victoria out would provide enough of a distraction that my disappearance wouldn't be noticed.

A few minutes later, I walked into Ad's den, smiling as I saw him laying on the couch, peacefully sleeping. I smiled as I curled up next to him, closing my eyes slightly and falling asleep next to him.


	25. Chapter 25

Within the next day, the whole Junkyard knew that I had been raped by the Monster of Depravity. It was just  _wonderful,_ especially considering no one seemed to realize that I didn't really want anyone to mention it to me again and again. What made it even more annoying was that no one seemed to know who started telling everyone that Macavity had raped me. It was always, 'I heard it from Porthos', or 'I heard it from Demeter', and even 'I heard it from Bomba' a couple of times. I had a feeling that it might have been Jenny, who told Munkustrap originally in an effort to better protect me, and Jemima overheard it from him, and she probably mentioned it to Cori as she vented to him, who inadvertently told Tanto, and by the time it got to that many people knowing about it, it simply spread like wildfire without stopping. I found it quite annoying that most of the tribe pitied me for that.

However, they might also pity me for the fact that Ad made it official in front of the whole tribe that he was seeking me as a mate (something which I didn't really mind as much as I thought I would). Everyone, especially Victoria, had been trying to set me up with either Porthos or Mistoffelees. Over the next few days, even though it seemed that everyone still despised it, they were slowly accepting that I wasn't about to leave Ad's side and that I truly did love him and that it was only a matter of time before we announced that we were going to be mates.

One bright morning, I sat down at the edge of the clearing, smiling faintly as I leaned my head back, basking in the sunlight and musing over the last few days in how they seemed to contradict themselves with how I had the best of times from having Ad pursue me further and by having Jemima treat me pretty well, yet whenever I was around anyone else, my life was utterly horrible. It confused me slightly, yet I still figured I should at least try to be sociable, even though I deeply despised it at times.

"Tan…" a soft voice said, causing me to jump slightly. I wasn't expecting anyone to come and talk to me for once. I opened my eyes slightly, seeing Alonzo standing in front of me. I raised an eyebrow slightly at him, and he quickly sat down next to me, taking a deep breath as he wrung his paws in front of his chest.

"One would think that as the second in command you wouldn't act like a nervous teenager around me…" I mused softly as I glanced over at him. He glared at me, dropping his paws, and I merely grinned back at him. It was quite amusing at how I could annoy him with a simple sentence.

"I wanted to ask you a few questions, if it would be alright with you. The way Munk put it, you have the choice to either answer my questions to the fullest extent of your knowledge, or else he'll let everyone keep pestering you about what exactly happened with Macavity and that you're with Ad rather than someone more suitable," Alonzo said, closing his eyes slightly as he leaned his head back. Sighing softly, I nodded slightly, deciding not to make some quip about how no one could tell me who was truly suitable for me to be close to and who wasn't.

"Alright. Ask away then," I said softly as I waited for the questions I knew would be coming. It wouldn't surprise me if it ended up like some silly little Spanish Inquisition that I wouldn't be able to answer even half of the questions very well. He took a deep breath before looking over at me.

"Tan…do you know why Macavity raped you? We need to know so that we can protect you in case he comes back," he told me softly. I took a deep breath as I leaned forward, pressing my fingertips together with my forearms resting on my legs as I thought about a response. I never really thought about that at all, considering I didn't think it would be worth having anyone try to protect me.

"He wanted to confirm his place as above me. That I couldn't control him with petty threats against him. To tell me that I can't simply leave him and that he'll always be there, watching my ever move…" I didn't look up at him, not wanting to see his face as my paws rested on the bandage that was still covering the 'M' that would scar permanently.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, barely loud enough for me to hear that he actually said it. I glanced up at him, seeing him look truly sorry about it. I shrugged slightly as I sighed softly.

"Why would you be sorry?" I asked him, not quite understanding why he said that. There was no reason for him to feel any guilt whatsoever about what happened to me. It wasn't as though he was the one to rape me, unless there was some strange magic going on that made him Macavity at night and Alonzo during the day.

"I'm second in command to the protector. I need to do my job better and actually protect some of the Jellicles," he said softly, looking quite pathetic as he seemed to deflate with that comment. I sighed softly as I looked up at him, knowing that I needed to explain the whole story now.

"I sorta brought it upon myself, considering I told him to leave me and the Jellicles alone. If I hadn't have tried to order him around," I told him. He blinked at me, before looking mildly impressed, nodding slightly.

"Really? You actually told him that?" he asked, sounding almost disbelieving.

I nodded slightly. "Yeah. I did. Told him that he would do anything I said considering he couldn't stand to be away from me," I added softly. Alonzo whistled lowly, shaking his head slightly.

"That's something not many cats would do, me and Munkustrap included," he said softly. I nodded, having guessed that earlier. I felt I shouldn't say that that was probably the reason why Macavity had so much power in this town.

"I know. It was a stupid move," I replied softly. He shrugged slightly as he took another deep breath.

"So, Tan…why'd you rather have the nobody over me? I don't really care, considering I'll find someone else eventually, yet why him? Why not me or Misto or Porthos?" Alonzo said. I rolled my eyes, yet figured I would have to answer the question, otherwise he'd keep letting everyone pester me about Macavity.

"Well…Misto refused to get close to me after I woke up from that month, and Porthos looked at me after…well…after Macavity raped me…and you…well, you never really had much of a chance, considering, well, you always seemed just a touch full of yourself. Ad was always nice to me…" I replied softly. Ad sighed sharply, before looking over at me again.

"You love him?" he asked me softly. I took a deep breath as I nodded slightly.

"Yes, I believe so, Lonz," I told him, looking down at the ground. I took another deep breath, hoping the interrogation would be over soon. It wasn't very fair that just because the silly Protectors didn't like me much, he could interrogate me on anything under the sun.

"You only believe so?" he asked, sounding a touch hopeful. I restrained myself from glaring at him, finding his pathetic attitude quite annoying. Honestly, it would be a miracle if he ever got over himself enough for a queen to like him.

"Well, I've never exactly been in love. I've never been more sure of something in my life, though," I told him softly. He nodded again, before sighing roughly.

"Think there's someone out there for everyone?" he asked me softly. I rolled my eyes at the silly question, before shrugging slightly.

"Well, statistically speaking, I think there's a queen for every tom out there. Why?" I said, finally looking up at him. He shrugged slightly as he looked back at me.

"Jem and I didn't work out. Cass and I didn't work out. Now you're off having…you're off with Admetus, and I'm back being the lonely protector," he said softly. I sighed softly as I looked at him.

"You'll find someone. Your someone just might not be here right now," I told him, trying to actually be slightly comforting. If I didn't think too much about how full of himself he was, this whole self-depreciating thing was a touch endearing.

"Think I could take you out on a date sometime?"

And there he goes, ruining what respect I had for him.

"No."


	26. Chapter 26

"Tana!" Ad said, brightening up immensely as he saw me walk up to his den a few hours later when it was just past sundown. I smiled at him, running into his arms as I hugged him tightly.

"I was hoping I hadn't missed you again…Jemima kept trying to get me to help design her kit's room," I told him, glad to see that I hadn't missed him for the third day in a row. Actually seeing him again made my day much better than how it had been going at first.

"I was waiting for you. I didn't want to miss you yet again," he said. I nodded slightly as I kissed his lips lightly, feeling utterly happy that I was even able to see him for a few minutes. "I'm seriously tempted to stay with you tonight," he whispered softly as he pulled away from me slightly. I nodded slightly.

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't agree with you," I told him softly as I looked up at him before walking into the den. Admetus looked at me slightly confused, before following after me.

"Why don't I then? I'll spend the night here with you rather than going out yet again," he said, sitting down on his couch as he pulled me onto his lap. I purred softly as I held him close, before shaking my head firmly, pulling away slightly.

"No. You need go. Even though I don't want you to, you have a duty to go," I told him softly. Admetus nodded slightly as he moved me off of his lap gently.

"Alright then, Tana. If you really want me to go, then I'll be back in the morning," Admetus said softly. I nodded slightly, looking down as he stood up to leave.

"I'll miss you, Ad. I wish I could spend more time with you…" I whispered softly. Admetus immediately sat back down, raising my head so I would be looking at him. He shook his head slightly.

"Then tell me not to go…don't urge me to go if you don't want me to," he said softly. I sighed softly as I brushed his cheek lightly.

"I thought you loved it though," I told him softly. He laughed softly, shaking his head slightly.

"I love you more. I want you to be happy, and I'd gladly drop being the GRC in a heartbeat if you told me you wanted me to stay by your side," he told me. I sighed softly, before nodding slightly and wrapping my arms around him.

"I love you more than anything in the world…" I whispered softly, smiling happily as I realized that it really was true. I wasn't even thinking about doubting that statement at all. He grinned brightly, before kissing me gently, his arms wrapped around my still-too-thin body as he pulled me back onto his lap. I smiled brightly as I pulled away from him slightly, curling up against his chest.

"Tired, love?" he asked me softly. I shrugged slightly as I looked up at him, even though my eyes were begging for me to close them for sleep.

"I don't want to miss any time with you though," I whispered softly as I nuzzled him lightly. He laughed softly.

"You could have all the time in the world with me though. Just say the word, and I'll give you everything. Tana…Tanaquil, please be my mate? At the next Ball, will you go through the mating dance with me and spend forever with me?" Admetus asked me. I looked up at him, before nodding slightly, smiling at him.

"I already thought that was going to happen, Ad, yet, I will. I would love to spend every moment of forever right here with you as your mate," I told him. He smiled at me, quite obviously overjoyed, and he kissed me deeply, before pulling away suddenly.

"I almost forgot! I have something for you," he said as he gently set me aside and he walked to where he usually kept his GRC stuff, quickly rummaging around before pulling out a small leather braided collar. "I didn't want you to find it before I actually got to ask you officially." I smiled as he sat back down next to me, carefully closing the collar's buckle so that it was loosely around my neck.

"What's this for?" I asked him softly, gently touching it. He kissed my neck lightly, before looking up at me.

"For being the best thing that's ever happened to me," he whispered softly. I took a deep breath as I moved back onto his lap, finding myself purring contentedly as I curled up in his lap.

"I love you, Ad," I whispered softly.

"I love you too, Tana, yet you should get some sleep," he whispered softly as he held me close. I nodded slightly, actually agreeing with him at this point. It was much easier to accept that I could sleep now that I knew I would always have him.

"Alright then, love," I told him softly as I stood up, walking to the back room. He followed after me, laying down next to me as I laid down on the bed. Glancing over at him, I raised an eyebrow slightly at his movements. He shrugged slightly as he wrapped an arm around my waist.

"I'm just going to lay down here. Nothing more than that, love," he told me softly. I nodded slightly, closing my eyes as I moved closer to him, enjoying having him so close. He leaned down closer to me, gently kissing my neck a few times. I smirked faintly as I cracked one eye open.

"This doesn't make sleeping much easier, love," I told him softly. He simply smirked back at me faintly, before kissing my neck again lightly and brushing his tail along my leg. I rolled my eyes slightly as they remained closed, pulling away slightly from him. "Behave, or I'm not letting you stay…" I murmured sleepily.

"Of course, love," he whispered softly, kissing my lips lightly, before simply holding me close. I purred softly, quickly falling asleep at that point.

* * *

"Morning, love," Admetus whispered softly as I stirred slightly, waking up to a wonderfully warm, pleasant feeling. I looked over at him, smiling before kissing his lips lightly.

"How long have you been awake?" I asked him softly. He shrugged slightly before kissing me again.

"Not really all that long. Maybe an hour at the max, yet I liked watching you sleep," he said softly. I nodded faintly, glad I hadn't kept him waiting all that long. He stood up next to the bed, holding a paw out to me. "You hungry at all?" he asked softly. I thought for a moment, before nodding slightly.

"Yeah. It's been a while since my last meal," I said softly. He nodded, hugging me close for a moment.

"I love you, Tana…I love you a lot…" he whispered softly. I purred softly, hugging him tightly back, before pulling away slightly.

"I love you too, Ad. I don't want to be away from you," I replied softly. He nodded slightly as he sat me down on the small couch, pressing a light kiss against my forehead.

"Don't move. I'll be back with something for breakfast in a few minutes," he said softly. I nodded slightly as I watched him leave the den, pulling my legs close as I smiled happily. I couldn't really believe that I actually had agreed to be his mate, yet it seemed amazing and wonderful, though a touch terrifying as well.

"Tana? You in here?" a voice called into the den, announcing Jemima's entrance. I smiled faintly, nodding as I looked up at her. She smiled at me, coming to sit down next to me.

"How are you?" I asked her softly, noticing that she had started to look more pregnant than what she probably should at just a month and a half or so. It made me wonder if she was carrying twins or triplets.

"I'm alright, I guess. Wondering why you haven't really been outside at all lately. Victoria's been missing you," she said softly. I sighed softly, rolling my eyes slightly as I looked down at the ground. I really didn't know why I wasn't outside much anymore, other than the pathetic reasons that I made to make myself feel better.

"Well…I guess…I guess I'm just scared, if I'm being perfectly honest…" I whispered after a minute or so of silence. Jemima wrapped an arm around me, hugging me close.

"I'm sorry…you never seem scared of Macavity though, even though he's scarred you and everything horrible," she whispered back to me. I took a deep breath, shaking my head firmly.

"I'm not scared of him, though, surprisingly enough. I'm…I'm more scared of having to tell people that I love Ad and I'm going to be his mate…no one accepts that I want to be with him," I said, looking up at her, sounding slightly more sure of myself. Jemima sighed softly, before nodding slightly.

"I accept that fact…you're a lot happier now than you ever have since I met you…" she said softly, holding me close. I nodded slightly as I pulled away from her slightly, not really wanting the close contact at that point. Sighing softly, she pulled her legs close to her as she looked at me, smiling faintly as she touched a paw to my collar.

"Did Ad give that to you?" she asked me softly. I nodded, smiling faintly.

"Yeah. He did. Not many people will believe it though, and Macavity's probably going to take it as a threat," I replied, still smiling faintly. It was nice, having a physical claim on me from someone other than Macavity at that point. Jemima nodded slightly as she stood up.

"I'll be heading out now. Just…please come talk to me and Vic and everyone. We sorta miss you…" she whispered before walking outside. I sighed softly as I looked down, not really wanting that to be the final word, though I couldn't really do much about that at this point. Carefully, I looked down at my leg, taking a deep breath as I gently took the wrapping off of where Macavity marked me, wanting to see how well it was healing. It still wasn't healing very well at all, and I sighed softly as I quickly rewrapped it.

"How's it look?" Ad asked as he walked back in, holding a mouse for the two of us to share, startling me a touch. I looked up at him sharply, before relaxing slightly and shrugging slightly.

"Fine, I guess," I whispered softly as I looked up at him, not wanting to worry him about something so small. I'd just talk to Jelly or Jenny later, and then I'd be fine. Maybe even see if Misto could just help me so it would heal better. At any rate, Admetus carefully set the mouse on the table, and he knelt down in front of me, holding my paws tightly.

"Have I been pushing you to go too fast with our relationship? Do you feel like you have to be my mate since you're living with me?" he asked softly, sounding concerned. I shook my head slightly as I moved slightly, sliding down to look him in the eye better.

"I'm not feeling forced into this, trust me, you'd know if I didn't like this or felt I had to be your mate," I told him, kissing his lips lightly as I smiled up at him. He nodded slightly, looking immensely relieved, before standing up, pulling me to my feet as well, and walking over to the table. Pulling out a low stool, he motioned for me to sit, before sitting down on his own stool, tapping his hand lightly with a slight nervous energy. I laughed softly, carefully holding his paw down, before kissing him gently.

"What's that for?" he asked me, slightly confused after he pulled away slightly. I shrugged slightly as I smiled at him.

"I just love you…and you really shouldn't seem so nervous…" I told him softly. He laughed softly, nodding slightly before turning back to the small meal before us.

"We need to have breakfast, love…Jemima really was right. You need to talk to your friends," Ad said softly. I sighed before nodding slightly, going to eat, before pausing slightly.

"How'd you know that?" I asked him, raising an eyebrow slightly. He grinned faintly before shrugging.

"I was standing outside the door…" he said softly. I rolled my eyes slightly before going to start eating breakfast, glad that Ad didn't mind getting food for the two of us.

A few minutes later, I had finished eating, and I had made my way over to the couch, curling up in my cat form as I started grooming my fur, carefully making sure that my fur was all nice and clean. Ad finished just after I did, and he carefully walked over to me, curling up next to me as he helped to groom my fur. I purred softly, before returning the favor as I helped him groom his fur. Once we were both groomed and cleaned, we shifted back into our Jellicle forms, simply smiling as we held each other close.

"Tana! Tana?" Plato's voice shouted, cutting clearly into the den as he ran in, startling both me and Admetus.

"What on earth are you thinking, just barging in?" Admetus said, standing up as he glared at the tom.

"Shut it, Rumpus, I don't really have time for you," Plato said, glaring back at Ad before taking my paw and pulling me to my feet. I skittered slightly before digging my feet into the floor and stopping.

"What is it, before you take me away from my soon-to-be mate?" I asked him. He paused, dropping my paw as he took a deep breath.

"Mac's on the war path and he's almost here, Tana. He's coming to either kitnap you or kill you. He's furious that you haven't been to see him in ages, and he's decided to put you in your place. You have to get going now, or else you're history," Plato said. Ad's face looked horrified, and he started trying to pull me away as well.

"Let's get going then. Scotland or Ireland or someplace. I'll get Skimble to help us out," Ad said. I shook my head quickly, pulling my paws away from them.

"No, I don't want that," I said softly. Plato blinked slightly, before nodding as he looked up at Ad.

"Maybe Italy or Germany then," Plato said softly. Ad nodded in agreement as they started pulling me out of the den again. I dug my feet in quickly yet again, before shaking my head firmly.

"No. I don't want to run and hide anymore," I said softly. Plato stared at me, completely dumbfounded.

"He's going to  _kill you_ , Tana!"

"Not if I kill him first," I said softly, before walking out of the den, determined to make my home safe again. I didn't like what I was about to do, yet I knew it had to be done.


	27. Chapter 27

Admetus followed after me, looking quite distraught as he realized what I was going to do. "Tana…Tana, please, don't do this. You don't have to…you don't need to go to him. I'll keep you safe. I promised you that…" he said, pulling on my shoulder to spin me towards him. I looked up at him, knowing that I was desperately trying to believe him, even though knew that no one would be able to protect me from the Monster of Depravity without getting hurt themselves. I sighed softly, shaking my head as I kissed him gently.

"He found me in Paris. He'll find me anywhere I go. I can't escape from him. I don't want anyone hurt any—" I was cut off as he kissed me deeply. I inhaled sharply, not expecting him to kiss me so suddenly. It wasn't that I didn't like it, yet I just didn't think that he would interrupt me in that way without me even finishing my thought.

"You'll be killed. You were already raped once, and now you're going to get killed if you stand up to him again. I can't live without you, Tana. I don't want to live without you," Ad whispered softly as he pulled away from me, holding my head in his paws. I looked up at him, feeling guilty for going to leave him for what he was rightly thinking was probably going to be a suicide mission in either a physical or emotional sense. There was just no way that I could leave Macavity alive as he terrorized my home and my friends.

"I'll just be sure to kill him first," I said, smiling sadly as I looked up at Ad. His eyes betrayed the overwhelming despair that I knew he was feeling, yet other than that, he looked utterly calm. I knew what he was thinking, considering I was thinking it as well. I couldn't even kill a silly mouse, so killing a Jellicle would be insane for me to think about. "I'll be fine. I love you so much, Ad. I'd never just leave you…" I told him firmly, trying to force the two of us to believe it.

Ad sighed softly, before nodding and kissing my forehead lightly. "I love you too…I'll be waiting with help if you need it. Don't leave me without calling for help first…" he told me softly, his words trailing off at the end, betraying what he mean by 'leaving'. I took a deep, shuddering breath as I thought over more completely what I was about to do, and I hugged my hopefully soon-to-be-mate tightly, not wanting to leave him. I knew it was only a matter of time now until Macavity tore me away from him if I didn't deal with him soon.

* * *

What felt like hours later—it was probably only ten or fifteen minutes later—I stood in the center of junkyard clearing, barely breathing as I tried to hear anything at all. I don't know why I was trying, because there was no breathing, no laughing, not even tense silence. Just…nothing. It felt just like what people always said the calm before the storm felt like. With each passing moment, I could feel the tension rising, just waiting for the right moment to break hell loose.

"Tanaquil…What a nice surprise. I never would have expected you to face me and my henchcats out in the open…" Macavity said finally, his thin ginger form standing clearly out from the dull grey metallic junkyard. I took a deep breath, not taking a step back away from him, despite the keening from his henchcats as they swarmed over the towers and pillars of the piles of human refuse. The Napoleon of Crime strode towards me, forcing me to accept the fact that he was getting closer to me. I had some sort of plan laid out in my head, not that I was very sure that this feeble plan would work out very well.

"I figured it would be better than having you kill everyone in a misguided attempt to find me. You wouldn't be able to, and I'd hate to see my friends killed over your attempt…" I told him softly, trying not to breath too much as he stood directly in front of me, not much more than six inches away from me. He nodded slightly, putting a clawed paw onto my shoulder, the sharp points digging into my fur and skin. I tried to ignore the pain, simply wanting to think about how I could pull him off kilter to lower his defenses. That would be the only way I could dream of killing him.

"I'd always be able to find you…" he whispered in my ear softly as he leaned closer to me, his breath hitting the fine fur velvet on my ear. I took a tense deep breath, trying not to think too much about how I was soon hoping to make that statement utterly false in case he somehow could hear my thoughts.

"I know…I just hope that I can fix that soon enough," I replied, smiling faintly at him in what I hoped was a flirtatious way. He glanced up at me, raising an eyebrow slightly, almost seeming to confirm my doubts that it was a completely false look.

"In what way do you mean?" he asked, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. I shrugged slightly as I set my arms on his shoulders, smiling at him in that still hopefully flirtatious way. I hoped that this would be working; if it didn't work, I'd be worse than a slave for my whole life. I'd rather die than have that happen.

"I just mean that it's sort of hot for a guy to tell me that he'd go anywhere just to find me. I almost like that…" I replied. He blinked several times, obviously not expecting this sudden change of feelings towards him from me. Several moments passed in tense silence before he spoke again.

"I raped you."

"You were merely exerting your dominance over me."

"You disappeared for a month after I revealed myself in Paris."

"I was foolish," I said, my answer quickening as I tried to get his mind off of how I should hate him so much.

"What are you playing a—" I cut him off with a kiss directly on his lips. I wasn't eager for that conversation to continue on like that, considering I was quickly losing ideas on how to get him off his guard for a few moments. He stiffened, before relaxing considerably into the kiss. I absolutely couldn't believe that I had gone this low simply to get rid of this threat he posed. Having him this close to me in this way was absolutely sickening, and I severely hoped that Ad wasn't watching at that point. Even though I knew I had to do this, it still felt as though I was cheating on Admetus.

"You're special, Macavity, love…" I whispered softly, the words burning on the way out as I pulled away from him. "Nothing like that idiot tomfriend of mine…" Macavity looked even more confused at that point than he did earlier, if that were possible at all.

"What are you playing at, Tanaquil?" he asked me softly, his voice low as I felt him relax more than he ever had around me. Probably around any other Jellicle in the world in several years. I shrugged slightly as I looked up at him with a soft, almost sad smile.

"Absolutely nothing…" I replied, desperately hoping he wouldn't catch onto the small lie. He blinked a few times, obviously trying to see through my façade, before smiling faintly and wrapping his arms around my waist. As I looked up at him, at this almost gentle tom, I could see a younger Macavity. One that wasn't warped and twisted by his magic and his crime empire. This tom that was simply happy to have a queen accept him and like him despite all of his monstrosities and madness.

My heart broke in that moment.

He kissed me again, and I could barely bring myself to think that this might be the moment where his guard was down that I should exploit to kill him. I  _needed_  to kill him now, or else I knew that I wouldn't be able to bring myself to kill him again. I simply didn't know if I could kill him due to this vast change of character. Macavity didn't seem like the Monster of Depravity in this kiss. He pulled away though, before I could force myself to kill him.

"Thank you…you're an angel, Tanaquil. That's why the Everlasting Cat sent you…" he whispered softly, smiling at me. I blinked faintly as I looked at him, before sighing and looking down at the ground, shaking my head slightly as my breathing turned into something close to shuddering gasps. I was surprised that he didn't catch onto my plot at that point.

"I'm no angel. I could never be an angel…" I whispered softly. He carefully lifted my head up to look at me, before kissing me lightly, gently, again. It was that same kiss as earlier that a gentler tom would give to the love of his life or to his most beloved lover.

"You really are…" he whispered even softer in return, causing me to feel every broken shard of heart painfully once again. It was simply too much to bear.

I stabbed my claws into his chest at that point, forcing them in as much as I could, forcing myself to give him a mortal wound. His eyes widened, and he looked down at his torn and bloody chest, before collapsing to the ground.

"I told you I'm no angel…" I whispered softly as I knelt down next to him as he struggled to breath, looking at him with tear-filled eyes, much to many of the Jellicle's disbelief, I was sure. He looked up at me, before shaking his head weakly.

"No…you've freed me…freed me from my hate. Not killed me…" he whispered softly as he set a paw on mine. I sighed softly, wondering why he wasn't trying to kill me in return, rather thanking me. I almost wished that he would hurt me in some physical way as well.

"I'm sorry…" I whispered softly to him, forcing myself not to call out to Misto to come save him. The Jellicles would never forgive me for saving his life if I did that. I wanted to though. It wouldn't surprise me if I went to Fell for not having Misto save him.

"No, Tanaquil. I'm sorry. Tell…" he gasped for a breath, "tell my father I'm sorry. Tell Demeter I'm sorry. I'm sorry to you, Tana…" he gasped for another breath, before his body relaxed, his eyes closed. I stared at his lifeless body, unaware of the shuddering breath I was holding.

* * *

There was a rush of voices and sounds, and Admetus ran to my side, wrapping his strong arms around my body, probably to make sure that I was unharmed. It should have felt comforting. I thought it felt like a confirmation of my betrayals.

I started sobbing at that point.

I was sobbing for the shock of killing something. For the fact that another life was destroyed. For ruining such a beautiful tom's fur. For the loss of such a tom as Macavity could have been.

I was sobbing for having a momentary thought of leaving Admetus to save Macavity.

Admetus carefully lifted me in his arms, muttering something to the rest of the Jellicles. He could have shouted it; it made no difference to me. Once some of the other Jellicles were in the clearing, Ad started walking down to his den, still carrying me close to his chest, before carefully setting me down next to the water spigot. I momentarily wondered where Macavity's henchcats went off to, or if they had disappeared once their master died.

"Why'd you do it?" he asked me softly, breaking the thick silence. I took a deep breath, shrugging slightly as I tried to get my voice to break through the blubbery silence that had descended over us as though the lights had turned off once he stopped speaking his sentence.

"Wanted to help the Jellicles. Wanted to get rid of that threat…" I replied softly after a few moments, giving him my paws as he tried cleaning them off under the water without any emotion. I felt numb, not knowing how to react to everything and what had happened. I half-wondered if he knew that I almost considered leaving him for the Macavity who had changed so much.

"You didn't have to kill him…You could have left him to someone else to finish off. You never needed to do that," Admetus said. His voice was rough and scratchy, almost as though he had been crying earlier. I shrugged, not really caring as I simply focused on the sensation of him washing the blood off my paws.

The spattering of the water hitting ground was the only sound for a few minutes as I thought about it. I really didn't have any idea as to why I never thought of having Munkustrap kill him in my stead. It probably would have been much harder for Macavity's guard to come down, yet I still never thought of it.

"It worked. I feel horrible. That's all," I said softly once I had finished thinking about it. He sighed, before pulling me into a tight hug once my paws and fur was clean. The water hit my side at that point, yet I didn't care as I burrowed my face into his warm fur. I held him tightly, not wanting to let go of him as I tried not to start crying again.

"You're beautiful. You're lovely. You're the best thing ever to happen to me. I want to be close to you, and I want to be your mate, no matter what happens," he whispered softly in my ear before kissing me lightly on my lips. I blinked slightly as I looked up at him, not really knowing what to do about that or why he suddenly said that.

"What was that for?" I asked him softly. He smiled sadly, shrugging slightly.

"You can't feel horrible. I just can't let you feel bad about yourself," Admetus said before kissing me again. I breathed deeply through my nose, before kissing him back gently, still feeling too fragile to put too much of myself into it, and pulling away from him slightly, simply listening to the various sweet nothings he whispered in my ear, trying to get me to feel better about life and everything.

"Thank you, love. I need to talk to Old Deuteronomy or Munkustrap," I whispered softly after a few minutes of simply drinking in his presence, standing up to walk away. Admetus shook his head firmly as he stood up, putting a firm paw on my shoulder. I blinked slightly, turning and glancing back at him, silently asking him for an explaination.

"No. Tana, you're going to come and sleep. Anything you need to tell them can wait for a bit. I want you inside until you seem to be more in control," he said. I took a deep breath, before nodding slightly and walking inside with Admetus, where we slept for several hours and simply talked to each other until I seemed to resemble something close to appearing normal.


	28. Epilogue

It was the night of the Jellicle Ball once again. December's full moon, once again. I didn't know the date.

In the past year, I had gone from being an innocent human girl living in a small American town, to a Jellicle queen who has lived through more hell than she ever deserved. The year had drastically changed most everything about my life, no matter how you looked at it. I had grown up to be a queen, rather than a young kit.

In terms of what had happened since Macavity's death, Jemima and Cori were officially mated a few weeks after Macavity's funeral, and they had given birth to a beautiful baby girl who looked almost exactly like a grey version of Jemima. She was an absolute delight in the junkyard, and everyone loved her being around. I apparently got deemed her honorary aunt by Jemima shortly after she was born. Antha and Alonzo were actually participating in the more general mating dance this year, and they were actually quite happy together. They had been seeing each other for about six months at this point officially. Porthos, however, was a very sad case, and no one talked about him anymore. Antha didn't even refer to him anymore. He ended up getting some alley queen pregnant, just after I had gotten raped, and he apparently he got hooked on 'nip shortly after that. He tried to see me several times, before Ad threatened to skin him alive if he came back to the junkyard again. Porthos hadn't been seen since then, except by some of the Jellicles who ventured into the alleys once in a while, and he was never very lucid through his fog of drugs. Now as the year continued, Ad had given up being the GRC, and we started focusing more on our friends and making the den more suitable for us. I enjoyed it quite a bit, and it was the best months of my life. Now, however, was our time to officially tie us together to be mates.

Admetus and I had taken up our roles in the mating dance, performing the usual roles as many of the adult Jellicles did, showing ourselves off as able to mate at that point. It normally wasn't anything exceptionally binding, even during the showcase dance, which Ad and I were actually performing this year. It was different than the one Plato and Victoria performed last year, as it normally was, and it normally didn't mean anything binding, if it meant anything at all. However, in this case, as Ad lifted me into his arms with one smooth movement, kissing my lips gently, it was made quite obvious that we intended to have this mating last as long as we could. I smiled as we pulled away, glad to finally be able to call him my mate.

"Shall we go make it official?" he asked softly, able to voice the question I had been thinking about for the past few minutes. I grinned, nodding as he carried me off towards our den, not eager to waste any more time together.

_C'est Fini…_


End file.
